The Tainted World: Alternate Realities
by Sunset's Crying
Summary: Love. It's one of those things you'll regret in the morning. So when you end up dead, lost in useless emotion, just remember. You only have yourself to blame. You should have ran away when you had the chance.
1. Prologue: The Sleeping Girl

Hello everyone! Long time, no see ^^

So I miss doing this, writing stuff, making stories, sharing them. College is hard lol. Sleeping is not a thing. Time is nonexistent. But I want to make time for this. So here I am. Making time for this.

I'm really out of practice though. It's kinda sad. I still owe someone another part to another story and Avoiding Alice is still incomplete (that also needs to be written...or... _something.)_ So to help myself out, I decided to start with this, my beautiful child and first full length story.

This is the same story and a different one. I started out as me making it better, changing the words around, all that jazz. And then...I started to make major changes. Changes like with characters and plot. So it's the same story and something entirely different. It's fun. Like an alternate reality of what happened the first time around.

So here we go, it's time for round two. I'll be back again next Friday.

Until then, with love,

Sunset

*Rated T for language. Certain chapters to come will have a rating change. *

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

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 **0\. The Sleeping Girl**

* * *

 **Franklin Lakes, USA**

* * *

From the doorway of the classroom, Luka calls out to me. "Hey Miku! Want to go karaoke with me, Rin and Gumi?"

Fingers tapping against the desktop of my assigned seat, I can feel the smile on my face. I love karaoke, especially with those three but… "Sorry Luka. Not today. Len and I are going on a date today."

"Ah. That's right." Leaning against the doorway, she smirks. "Franklin High's new couple has yet to go on a date, even though it's already been a week...What are you two even doing?"

"Oh Shut up Luka! We're busy people. At least we're finally going on one!"

Even from here, I can see her eyes twinkle with amusement. Why is it that she always seems older than me even though we're the same age? It's not fair… "Don't worry, darling. I know. I'm just having a bit of fun with you, that's all...But make sure tell me all about it later, ok?"

Well, yeah. Even if she didn't offer, I would have called Luka anyways. It's in her job description as my best friend. Blowing me a kiss, Luka heads out, her hair whipping behind her. Settling down into my seat, the clock ticks away slowly, the second hand twitching almost spasmodically. Where is that boy anyways?

* * *

This is ridiculous. Just where is he? He's really gonna get it for making me wait this long….I don't even know where he is right now…..arrgghhh… I may as well take a nap. Yeah. A nap sounds good. He better have a good excuse.


	2. The Game of Life

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

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 **1\. The Game of Life**

* * *

 **Admodia, The Eastern Republic of New Ethatrias**

* * *

You could say life is a game, the kind that's so fucked up, you have to wonder who made it up or why anyone even bothers playing it.

Wait, no, that's wrong.

Life is not _a_ game. It's many games, all of them happening simultaneously. It's the type of thing that's so jumbled together, it's impossible to say where one starts and where the other ends.

…No wonder it's so fucked up.

Because, you see, life is the kind of game where sometimes there's a winner, sometimes there's a loser, and sometimes, it's simply about "enjoyment." Who's though, it's hard to say. I have yet to figure it out.

So do whatever you want. See who cares. I don't see an instruction manual or rules. Do you?

* * *

Fingers tapping against the slates of the roof, the night hums. From up here you can hear everything, the drone of an occasional car, the buzz of electricity, indistinct talking muffled by closed windows; these people do not fear the dark. It's what makes them vulnerable.

It's too cold out for comfort. I hate how I can see every breath I make. The cloak I'm wearing is not nearly warm as enough as I want it to be…but anything heavier would just weigh me down. Stupid cold season.

I suppose, that in a way, this is a waiting game. The kind of game with controlled breaths, reduced movements and your body on alert. Some call it a game of patience. It's really doesn't make a difference. Just play it right and nothing will go wrong. It really is that simple.

Today, it's a male. 40 years of age. Five foot eight. Weighs 180 to 195 pounds. Black thinning hair. A greedy politician, or so many seem to think. A man with too much power, or so his competitors believe. I really couldn't care less.

What does bother me is the family…who are with him now. Shit. His wife is the perfect picture of what she's supposed to be, young, pretty and shorter than him. There's a little boy too, age five. Anthony. He swings in between them, feet dangling above the ground. I can hear him giggling from here….But why? Why are they doing this now, in the middle of the night? Can't these people take their family walks during the evenings, like normal, sensible people?

This is what makes them easy to kill.

Sometimes…I wish…but that would be stupid. This is not that kind of game. A tiny foot swings into view. Refocusing my eyes, my fingers twitch with an old mixture of confidence and hesitation. But it's fine. I'm fine. This is nothing new. I am a professional.

The power trembles through my fingers and like usual, I can hear it, it's such a distinct sound, the sound of a single bullet against a human skull. Reverberating into the street, a frightened widow screams. Blood pooling around her designer shoes, curiosity attracts people to the streets rather than actual concern. Artificial hysteria building, the shadows expand, the clatter of my gun and the snap of my bag easily go unheard. I am no one. I am nothing. I was never here. I never existed. I am "the winner."

How exciting.

Leaping off the roof, I can hear it. Under the noise of his mother, under the bustle of the people crowding the streets, Anthony wails. Maybe in sorrow. Possibly confusion. It's hard to tell. These are some of the things I hate the most. Children always make things more difficult than they need to be.

It's hard not to feel guilty when they're around.

* * *

This is a different game…maybe. It's hard to tell. The made up rules don't really change.

I'm tired of sleeping. But judging by the amount of light shining through the dingy window in my small hole of an apartment, it's almost time to get out of bed anyways.

It's mornings like these that make me wish I had a better ceiling. A prettier one, one that's smooth and even. Hell, I'd settle for one without holes and water stains. But gilded borders would be nice.

Ha! Who am I kidding? My landlord is a stingy rat. "It's fine," he says. "Nothing worth fixing," he claims. I bet he wouldn't fix the damn thing even if it fell on my head during the middle of the night. Would probably find some way to blame it on me too.

So tomorrow, when I wake up, there it will be again. My ugly and uneven ceiling, full of holes and water stains. It's part of my lovely neverending cycle. How boring.

* * *

" _I'm back Sir." Sitting in his chair, back facing his stupidly large window, he doesn't bother looking up at me._

 _"Did anyone spot you?"_

 _"No. No one spotted me at all."_

 _Leafing through some documents, he nods his is head in approval._

 _"Very good Miku. That's my girl." Picking up a small pile of money off his desk, he tosses it in my direction. Used to this type of interaction, I don't even have to think about catching it. Weighing the bundle of bills in my hand, it's barely enough to pay for rent, food, clothes and ammunition and all the other things I need to pay for. But that's nothing new. With a wave of his hand, he dismisses me. "Alright. Yah can go now. I'll call yah again soon."_

 _My first instinct is to leave as quickly as possible. Being near Sir always gives me the creeps. But I need to know. "Sir?"_

 _Exasperated, he finally looks up at me, upset that I'm still here. There's this hideous scar that crawls down his face. I heard he got it from his ex-wife. I hate looking at it. She's probably dead in a ditch…or "working" in a prostitution ring. "How much more do I owe until my debt is cleared?"_

 _It's silent for a long time. The seconds tick by tantalizingly slow, he's probably paused for dramatic effect._

 _"Ahhhh, Miku….Miku, Miku, Miku. Just how much do yah think yah owe me? It's not a small amount, let me tell yah. Ever since Gakupo died, I took yah in. I clothed yah, I fed yah and I continued to train yah until yah were old enough to survive on yah own._

 _Surely, yah didn't think I did all of that for free? Let me tell yah something girlie. Nothing in this life is free. NOTHING. So it's best that yah remember that as soon as possible._ _So just get it through yah thick head already._

 _Yah MINE until I say yah aren't. It's as simple as that, Miku. It's as simple as that._ _Now go already. I have work to do."_

"… _But of course, Sir."_

 _I should have known. How stupid of me to try. Heading towards the door, Sir calls at my back. "And don't forget. I always charge interest!" He laughs, as if it was a joke._

 _We both know it isn't._

* * *

So yeah… Just like the ceiling never changes, so will my life. Therefore, it will start again, these games called life.


	3. Tag (You're It)

Hello again!

I guess I'd like to thank you for checking out this alternate reality of mine. If you have any opinions, or corrections or just wanna say hi, feel free to review ^^ It's one of the best ways to improve, after all. That being said, I wanna thank iloveyugiohGX93 for reviewing and EternallyShining for liking and following this story so quickly. The love feels nice. that being said, let's get this show on the road, shall we?

\- Sunset

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

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 **2\. Tag (You're it)**

* * *

It's one of those days where you can't help but hate the sun just a little bit…even though you know you're not supposed to. Shining way too brightly, my eyes squint against the light, my glasses only making the problem worse. At least it's warm out.

Locking the door behind me, the wind picks up my dress, a simple and colorless thing. It's hard to believe people can make a profit producing these things…makes you question this republic a bit. Well anyways, it's the kind of dreary dress that doesn't attract attention at all, which is exactly what I need. I have a hard enough time doing that with my teal colored hair and eyes.

In this country, the natives are defined by blonde hair and amber eyes…though blue eyes are becoming more normal by the year. Defined by hair and matching eye color, this is how the countries of this world were established. Admodia is special though. It's a republic practically overrun by foreigners. It's probably why Gakupo chose to live here in the first place and why my parents initially came to visit. It's nice. But even so, to have teal hair and eyes like me, it's rare. From what I've heard, my country is a very small one, thousands of miles away from here.

A smart decision would have been to dye my hair a different color, or to cut it short. But fuck that - my hair and eyes are the two things I refuse to give up. The slave traders can go fuck themselves or someone else for that matter. In the end, you just do what you can. So this is who I've chosen to be, the girl with the grey dress and the long teal hair in twin tails wearing (fake) glasses. It's not the best thing to be but there'd no point in changing it now.

Like usual, the marketplace is overcrowded and full of noise. Crammed into every available space, vendors yell out their wares and sales. With all the smells intermingled and the sound of animals and giddy kids mixed in, it's a glorious mess.

"Mornin' Kaito!"

Yelling over the squawks of Bu birds, Kaito pops out of the small kitchen almost immediately. "Hey there Mystery Girl." Readjusting his scarf, today's apron matches the blue of his hair and eyes. "So what can I get you today? B meal or C?"

"C."

Like clockwork, he takes my money, an impish smile blooming on his face. "So tell me, will I have the honor of learning your name today?"

"Sorry Kaito. Not today."

Pouting for a moment, he sighs dramatically, his body wilting over the counter. Head resting on his elbows, his eyes shine in good fun. "All right then. But I'm warning you, I **WILL** find out your name some day, whether you tell me or not…but I _would_ prefer it if you told me yourself.

"We'll see."

As in never. Though to be honest, I wonder sometimes, what it would be like to have him call out my name, to have him as my friend. But that would be stupid. There are only so many teal haired "citizens" in this republic. To know my name would be disastrous for the both of us.

"Here's your order, Mystery Girl. Enjoy!" Placing my food in front of me, his eyes twinkle with a kind of friendliness that hurts every time. Picking out a table in the far corner, I can literally feel my mouth watering, damn that's gross. Taking the first bite, I _know_ the moan that slips past my lips is shameless, but I don't care, Saints, this is good stuff. "Let's keep it 2 rated back there, yeah?'

Laughter spilling from his lips, I'm laughing too but more like half choking on my food. I'm being way too stupid, constantly coming back like this. Why am I so stupid?

Slipping back into the crowd, Kaito waves goodbye from the counter. And before I can regret it, I wave back.

* * *

So today didn't turn out to be too bad after all. The sun's not as annoying when there's a bunch of tarps in the way.

"Leeks! Leeks on sale! Three for Twenty Ethas! Three for Twenty!"

Oh. Wow. It's been….years since I've seen a leek stall in this Republic. The import fees are ridiculous and these are kinda cheap considering. Gutsy lady, setting up here instead of the black market….But no. I shouldn't. I'm poor. I have a debt to pay. I don't need these. It's unnecessary.

 _"Mama! Mama! Look! Look! There's leeks in this country too! Can we buy some? Please please please oh pleeeeeaaaaasssseeee?"_

 _Mama looks at me funny. "You know Miku, most children ask for candy or toys. I think you're definitely the first one to beg for a leek."_

 _But leeks are so yummy! "Oh Mamaaaaaa, pleeeeaaaasssseee? We haven't had leeks in foooorrrrreeeevvvveeeeerrrr. I promise I'll be good….Really! I do!"_

 _Papa's laugh is rumbly, like the rain. "Come on Prima. We can afford a leek or two."_

 _"Mikuo, we barely have enough money to pay for tonight's inn, let alone - "_

 _Rumbling louder, Papa gives Mama a kiss on the cheek, his special trick. "Ah, don't worry. We'll make do. Plus, Miku's been such a good girl lately, haven't you Miku?"_

 _Yes! Yes! Grabbing Mama's and my hand, Papa leads the way. My hand is so tiny in Papa's. His hand is so warm. But leeks!_ _We're going to get leeks!_

I don't have time for this.

 **"THEIF!"**

I take back what I said before. Today sucks balls. Knocked from the side, the world spins and turns. Crashing into the ground, colors fly, bright lights. My produce rolls, spices are kicked, breads trampled, Tipe bird stolen, my glasses crunch in the distance. Well fuck. Just…FUCK! Fucking ridiculous, "WATCH YOU'RE GOING, YA LITTLE SHIT! MY GLASSES ARE FUCKING RUINED AND EVERYTHING I BOUGHT IS LOST, WHAT KIND OF SHITTY THIEF ARE YOU - "

Struggling to sit up, the hood covering the stranger's head slips, their eyes meeting mine. I hate myself. Blood rolling down my arm, the anger in me fizzles out, a raspy after feel in my chest. I really, really hate myself. But damn, what a pretty pair of eyes, so bright like sapphires. They look like the beautiful pair of earrings a past job of mine wore. I almost took them too…

"Oh! Aggh! I'm Sorry…..I-I didn't mean…"

 **"STOP THAT THEIF!"**

Freezing mid apology, the stranger's eyes light up in fear. I hate myself. I'm going to regret this, aren't I? But his hand is suddenly in mine and we're running through the crowds, people cursing and screaming around us. Why? Why am I even doing this? I'm helping some stranger that I don't even **know**. I owe him nothing, absolutely nothing! And he's a thief. A fucking THIEF! If we get caught, I could easily get punished for who knows how long and everyone knows that you can't pay debts while in jail...AGGHHH! Why am I so stupid? I blame it on his eyes. Dazzling eyes like those should be fucking illegal or something…

Making a sharp turn into an alleyway, instinct takes over. Following an intricate path, it almost feels like Gakupo was still here, his hand in mine. Back when world ours, when there was nothing we couldn't do, nothing we couldn't be. But there's no one in front of me and the wind pushing against my face is too real to be fake.

* * *

Judging from the vibrations in the ground, we've probably lost him by now. I can stop this now. Just let go of his hand and be on my way. Pretend this never happened. But even so, there's somewhere I want to go. It's hard to think straight like this, running with the wind in my face, that silly sense of boundless freedom, like nothing can hurt you. Hard stone transforming into grass, I'm almost there.

I'm home.

It's as if time never happened. Overlooking the republic, it's still here, that old and majestic Sky Tree, the very place where I was dubbed Queen of the World so many years ago. Caressing the bark with my fingertips, I'm sitting on the ground before it even registers; he's not coming back. He will never come back. How stupid to even think otherwise.

Landing gracelessly besides me, the thief heaves for air. Oh yeah. This guy. How weird…for a thief…he doesn't seem to be in shape. I should just leave now. He's too out of breath to even put up a proper fight. But I'm curious. I want to see those pretty eyes again.

Getting a better look, I can't even be surprised. He's gorgeous. This isn't even fair. It's more than just his sapphire eyes. It's…it's… _everything_. His hair looks like fucking spun gold, for Saints. The way his lips curl, he's all tall and lean with nice legs. I can't believe people like this even exist. But I'm getting ahead of myself…. Saints, I'm so stupid. Fuck. Fuck! What did I get myself into? Why am I so stupid? This isn't a thief. Sure, he's wearing commoner clothes, floundering around the republic, trying and failing to act like one…But this boy is clearly the son of a wealthy politician, through and through. We should have never met. This is what I get for helping strangers with pretty eyes. Shit, I should have known better. I have to get rid of him pronto.

"You know, for such a small thing, you're unbelievably quick and agile. I almost couldn't keep up..." This is so unfair. Fucking pretty boys and their pretty eyes and their shiver inducing voices, this needs to **stop**. This is a politician's son doubling as a thief. I'm probably going to have to kill him a few years from now. I cannot fall for this boy - or any boy for that matter. Not now. Not ever.

"Oh, you're hurt. Um…I think I have some bandages in my bag…"

What is even happening right now? What kind of politician's son/thief is this? I have to leave. Now.

"Wait!"

" **WHAT?** "

"You're hurt." White teeth biting over pretty lips. "You helped me back there. The least I can do is help…"

I need a nap. "What? No. I'm fine. It'll stop soon enough."

"No way. You could get infected." And just like that, his hand is on my wrist, pulling me back down to the ground, antiseptic sitting in his lap. Control. Control. I need to keep this under control. Fuck control! I need to _leave_. "So tell me, what's a rich little boy like yourself doing stealing from commonpeople? What? Does your daddy not give you enough to buy your luxury toys?" Saints! That's not control or leaving! What is _wrong_ with me?

But his body flinches, his eyes aren't meeting mine anymore. "What makes you say that?" Oh, fuck it all. I might as well keep going with this.

"You need to be more specific. Are you referring to the thief part of the or the rich little boy part?"

His eyes still refuse to meet mine. "You know what I mean."

What a weak response. How pitiful. "Well for starters, you did cause all that commotion back there and all those people were yelling out, "Thief! Thief! " And we did spend a long time running away...So obviously, you must be a thief...But that's not the answer you wanted, now is it?"

Knotting the bandage, his fingers quiver. There's fear pouring from his skin and it's all so…delicious. Invading his space, our knees touch, breaths intermingling. Capturing his eyes, I can see my reflection, how mesmerizing. Fingertips on his cheeks, it's too soft to be real."…Stranger, there is absolutely no doubt about it. You are the son of a wealthy politician through and through. You may be wearing the clothes of a commoner but that definitely doesn't make you one…."

His breath hooks, shallow little breaths. How cute. Fingers tangled in his hair, if my hands could have cried, they would have. "For starters, no commoner has hair this bright, so soft and silky. Even the most expensive soaps offered in the market place could never accomplish a wonder such as this…" This needs to stop. "Your face too." Running a single hand back down his cheek, nails dragging, everything is a whisper. "It's smooth and even to the touch. This is a face that receives a high degree of care, something that a commoner would never bother to do." Please make me stop. "But these hands of yours make it all the most obvious." Holding his hand once again, this is out of control. "These are the hands of a boy that never worked a day in his life...yet, for some reason...you still chose to play thief...how interesting indeed..."

But then the stranger's mouth opens, probably to defend what little honor he has. "Yes. Yes. I know. You work out and all that. I can see that, don't you worry. Your nails and the scrapes on your knuckles definitely show that...But that still doesn't change the fact that your hands are unbelievably beautiful." How I wish those hands could be my own... "These could never be the hands of a commoner."

End this. Now. "So do yourself a favor and go back home. Quit this odd little hobby of yours while you still can... Trust me when I say that it's just not worth it. Daddy might be able to save you from jail but there are some things in life that even money and power can't fix."

Getting up, dropping that hand, it's not even three seconds before it's on my wrist again. With hard eyes and a firm voice, he says, "You're wrong. I'm **not** a politician's son, well at least, not anymore..."

Leave. Leave now. You don't care. End this.

"Well, rich boy or not, this is where we part ways. Goodbye Pretty Boy." Fuck. I wasn't supposed to say that. It doesn't matter. Just leave. Pretend this never happened and one day it will become the truth.

"W-WAIT!"

Keep walking. Don't look back. He is nothing. Just keep walking.

" **What?** " Well fuck.

"W-Well, you see..."

A groan pushes past my lips. Of course. _Of Course_! "You don't know how to get to your place, do you?"

Heavy silence passed before he admitted the obvious truth. "…..no…."

"What kind of thief doesn't know the area they're stealing from?!"

"Sorry but it just happens to be that I'm new in town, so..."

"That's not a fucking excuse!"

Don't do this Miku. Just let him wander around for a while. Let him learn his lesson. He'll figure it out eventually. Don't involve yourself any further…and why are you offering your hand? Idiot.

His hand is on mine before I can even convince myself to drop it and to stop being an idiot. I hate myself. I'm going to regret this. Pretty boys of this degree should be illegal.

Walking back the way I came, Pretty Boy follows, his steps matching mine. This is ridiculous. How did he even become the ex-son of a wealthy politician? Did he get disowned? Who is his father anyways? And why is he so fucking pretty? I definitely don't remember any handsome politicians living in Admodia, alive or dead. Just where did he come from and why is he in this republic of all fucking republics? But more importantly, what is it with this hand holding stuff anyways? We aren't five and we certainly aren't going out….so what gives? But then again, it's not all that much of an issue, I think….At least this way he won't get lost. But then again, I should probably want him to get lost? That way, I could get rid of him easier…

Arrgggghhhh! None of this is making sense and my brain is starting to hurt. Not only that but this guy seems pretty carefree for someone who's lost….fucking pretty boys….

"Hey….I never did thank you for helping me out back there, did I?" Glancing over at him, there's this look in his eyes. I can't tell what it is.

"No, you didn't."

Giving me a small smile, his hand squeezes mine. "Well…I'm Kag – Len. My name is Len. Thank you…for helping me out back there. I appreciate it."

"Yeah…"

Taking a breath, he asks, "…Can I know your name?"

Don't you even dare. "No."

Silence drifting, he smiles again, understanding in his eyes. "Ok. It's probably best if we don't meet each other again, huh?"

Yeah, pretty boy definitely has secrets of his own, all right. But at the same time, it hurts. I want to say something else. I want to nod my head yes and watch those beautiful blue sapphires shine even brighter with joy. I want them. I want them so bad.

Lucky for me, before anything else stupid flies out of my mouth, we finally arrive to the very edge of the market. I stop and Len stops along with me.

"Goodbye Len."

Dropping his hand, he doesn't make an effort to snatch mine up again. Instead he smiles impishly, sapphire eyes shining. "Goodbye Pretty Girl."

And that is the end of that.

(If only…)


	4. Hearts

Hi again!

It's nice to see you all again ^^ Well here's week three. To those preparing for finals or having them, best of luck! (Try not to die studying) I'll see you again next week!

Love,

Sunset

P.S. Thanks Shirai Hisaishi, I'm glad you think so ^^ and for liking and favoring this story.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

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 **3\. Hearts**

* * *

The door creaks behind me, the lock clicking into place a few seconds after. It's not completely quiet. I can hear the wind rattling the window panes and the electricity thrumming in the room and the footsteps from the tenants above me…but it's quiet enough.

Flopping down onto the bed, my cloak tangles itself around my body, stupid, rebellious thing. Rolling over to pull it off, the shoes come off next, clattering to the ground. Wow. This mattress really feels comfortable today…I must be more exhausted than I thought. And I'm really hungry. No that's not it. It's another word. A stronger word. What is it again?...Yes. _Ravenous_. I'm _ravenous_. So very _ravenous_...enough to eat this mattress?...No. Not yet at least. It's certainly been a while since I went hungry, that's for sure. The solution should be easy. All I have to do is go to the market and buy food. It's so simple. But I already did that today. So now I'm broke. Broke. Broke. Broke. Or well, broke budget wise, gotta practice smart living and all that. But that still means no food for me today.

Stupid Len and his shitty running away skills. Stupid Len and his alluring blue eyes and golden hair and near perfect hands. Stupid Len and all the secrets I can't ask about. But more importantly…stupid me. Stupid, stupid me. What the fuck was I thinking, grabbing his hand like that? No, I wasn't thinking, that's what!

Well it doesn't matter that I know his name now. It doesn't matter that he's alluring, or cute or any of those other things he's not allowed to be. Our relationship has now just ended. Whatever we just were, whatever we could be...will never, ever be. Don't forget that. He's dangerous, he's trouble waiting to happen. He will absolutely ruin everything. So stop thinking about it. It isn't allowed.

* * *

 _Mama is reading me a bedtime story. I love it when Mama reads me bedtime stories. More than when Papa does it. I love Papa's deep and rumbly voice. But when Mama reads to me, everything is magical and real._

 _I like that._

 _Today's story is something called_ _the Little Prince_ _. It's a little hard to get but Mama likes it. So I will be a good girl and not say anything. Mama's prettier when she's happy._

 _"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world..."_

 _Hmmm. That's weird. "Mama. I don't get it. Why does Mr. Fox want to be tamed?"_

… _.Mama's not saying anything. Is she thinking maybe? I know I've been asking a lot of questions...but I want to understand this story that Mama likes. I don't wanna be a bother..._

 _After a long time, Mama speaks up again. Good! She's not upset after all! Thoughtfully, she says, "Mr. Fox doesn't want to be all by himself anymore. By choosing to be tamed, he's creating an unbreakable chain that will forever connect him and the prince."_

 _"How mean of Mr. Fox! Isn't he just bothering the Prince with a wish like that?"_

 _Mama stops and thinks again. Could this this book be too hard for even Mama to understand?_

 _Mama's voice floats above my head. "Yes. The fox just may be bothering the Little Prince. But remember Miku. No one wants to be alone. And sometimes, we are so desperate that we would do anything to avoid being lonely. Even if it means being bothersome._

 _I think...in life….for a person to be truly happy…they need someone they are truly unique to. I think, that even if we don't want to admit it, we all need at least one person to live for."_

 **BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNNGGGG!**

...…?

Eyes slowly creaking open, the usual ceiling reveals itself to me once again. What an unpleasant dream. Some things are better left forgotten. But I don't get it. Why that memory? Why now? Never mind. I don't want to know the answer.

 **BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNNGGGG!**

What is this fucking sound anyways? Sounds a lot like…SHIT! Shitshitshit where did I put that wretched thing? Why did people even build something so fucking annoying? Aw fuck, where did I put it?

 **BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNN –**

Here! "Hello?"

Sir's rough voice echoes through the line, as expected. "Pick up the phone faster, Girl! Fuck, I don't have time for this. I have a job for yah tonight. Be here by 11:30."

And he hangs up. Just like that. But it's ok. Not really. But I'm used to it. Some things just never change, after all. At least he wasn't angry…hopefully he won't pinch my pay.

Crawling out of bed, my stomach rumbles in frustration. Just a little longer. This is good luck in a way. Now I won't have to go hungry much longer. Swapping my grey dress for a black one, the color reminds me of ink. Winding my hair into a tight braid, it gets covered by my cloak, also darker than black. Looking into the mirror, I can't help but hate her for a moment, the girl that stares back.

Grabbing a medium sized bag from under the loose planks by the wall, the door swings shut behind me. The weight on my shoulder is familiar along with the pieces that clatter together inside. It's time for work. Oh, the fun.

* * *

Fingers tapping against the slates of the roof, even the night is quieter than usual. There's no movement in the house below me, it might as well be abandoned. I'm pretty sure it's not. A streetlamp flickers down the road, a man passes underneath it with his back hunched, the collar of his coat pulled up. It's not him. It's all part of the game, I'm having _so_ much fun.

My body's cramped, my finger is already starting to follow suit. Could the information been wrong? It's never been wrong before but it's never too late to start. I wonder who would get punished for that fuck up?

But no. There he is. He's not even wearing a fucking hat, the careless idiot. 32 years of age. Five foot six. Weighs 172 to 184 pounds. Dyed blonde hair. A journalist. He knows too much, or so some politicians claim. Sucks to be him.

Like usual, I can hear it, the sound of my bullet shattering his skull, the dulled impact as it lodges into the railing of the apartment complex behind him. I still hate the sound. This time, there's nothing else to muffle it.

Slumping to the ground, blood spills from his head, plopping heavily onto the asphalt. Blonde hair tainted red, his coat and clothes soak up some of the mess but it's not enough. It pools around him, shimmering under the moonlight and it looks so pretty, that kind of red. I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to.

Sometimes, I wonder. Does a heart simply vanish? Or must a person rip it out and stab it until there's nothing left to excruciate? I would really love to know.

* * *

The ceiling stares back at me. _In our hands, a ruby colored rose blooms._ Heaving for breath, _it slowly blooms_ , it wasn't real, _it's petals gracefully spreading,_ it didn't happen, _before exploding right before our eyes._ It didn't happen. _The blood surrounds us,_ it was just a dream, _covering everything._ It was just a dream. _Slowly, it devours him,_ it didn't happen, _consuming him whole,_ it was just a dream! _Slithering down his arms, creeping up mine,_ it didn't happen! _He's dead._..Except it did. Just who are you kidding?

It's fine. Everything's fine. You're overreacting. It was just a dream. Nothing's wrong. Get your shit together, you're a fucking professional. Yeah? Good. Now get dressed. There are things you have to do.

Nothing's changed (except not really).

Grey dresses lining the inside of my closet, the three black ones hidden behind a false panel, this is nothing new. Sitting in front of the mirror, the girl that stares back is covered in blood, it drips down her face, except she's not, stop being fucking delusional, it was just. a. dream. Get your shit together. You know what you are. This is nothing new. There's no point in freaking out about it now.

A single braid trailing down your back, glasses in place, you are a professional. You are an assassin, a killer. You deserve to burn up in hell. But until then, you'll keep living your life, just like this until your fucking debt is paid. There's no point in feeling guilty about it now.

Cloak hanging on my shoulders, the door clicks shut behind me, I know what I am. I am a professional, an assassin. This is nothing new. There's no point in freaking out about it now. But still…I should probably try somewhere new to eat tomorrow…just to mix it up. Yeah. That sounds good.

* * *

These are the kinds of mornings that makes you question this republic because this is just fucking ridiculous. This is what, the twentieth time I've thrown up now? Am I just choosing all the wrong places or do people not know how to cook decent food anymore? How did I even manage before I found Kaito's stall anyways? I've tried three other markets on the west blok and two in the east blok, and I haven't been able find any good food stalls at all! I mean, I know I haven't tried all of them but I am so fucking tired of puking up my guts at least once a week. But that's it. I give up. No more of this garbage that people call food. Why was I doing this anyways? …oh. Yeah. That. Well that was stupid and so is this! It's time to eat decent food again.

Walking across bloks, my usual marketplace quickly comes up in the distance. Weaving past all the vendors, animals and kids, it's like I never left. Everything smells like it should and some of the stall owners smile at me, as if they've noticed my absence, which is in its own way, terrifying. This place is starting to feel a lot like "home" and something tells me that's not a good thing. I'll worry about it later.

"Mornin' Kaito!"

Yelling over the squawks of Bu birds, Kaito pops out of the small kitchen in record time. Hopping over the counter, I'm quickly wrapped up in this giant hug, the kind that squeezes the air out of you. Pressed tight against his body, I'm trapped, unable to move, I'm not sure how I feel about this either.

After a moment, Kaito abruptly lets me go and falls against the counter, leaning back onto it. He's trying to look nonchalant, but I can see the worry and relief in his eyes. A warm feeling bubbles up in my chest and I hate the large part of me that feels this way. This isn't good. With a cool voice, as if he never hugged me, he says, "So tell me, Mystery Girl. Where have you been for the last two months?"

Smoothing out my hair, placing an impish smile on my face, the half lie comes out naturally. "I was just trying out some different food, you know? I wanted to try something a bit different." I had a dream and freaked out.

A look of exaggerated shock crosses his face. "What's this? You've been eating food other than mine this entire time?" Dramatically, he sighs and looks up to the tarp covered sky. "The nerve! The betrayal! A wound straight to the heart! All this time, I've been worrying about my precious Mystery Girl and as it turns out, she's been as unfaithful as can be! Oh, how it hurts!"

Then, although there's a playful glint in his eyes, his face turns serious. Pushing himself off the counter, Kaito takes a step closer to me. Slowly, he reaches a hand out and strokes a hand up my cheek, fiddling with my glasses. There's something in his voice, something I don't recognize. "Tell me, Little Miss Mystery Girl. How will you make it up to me?"

I don't like this. This is weird. And a little creepy. When did I ever owe him anything? We're not even friends…I think. Maybe I should have never came back after all. "Oh? And why should I? Maybe you just need to make better food."

Smirking at me, there's this dark look in his eyes, almost lustful, I need to get my food and go. But before Kaito can continue, a familiar blonde head pops up into view. Lingering at the edge of my sight, half hidden by the Bu birds, the blue of his eyes is unmistakable. You've got to be kidding me.

"So this is where you've been..." You've really got to be fucking kidding me. What happened to 'never meeting each other again?'

Turning around, Kaito's hand fall from my cheek. Dark look fading to curiously, I can't restrain the sigh in my chest. Today is going to suck, I can already tell. I really should have just stayed away.

Staring at Kaito and I with sad eyes, a pretty boy asks, "…Are you two going out?"

Part of me is ready to lie. And part of me hates that look in his eyes. "What are you doing Len? What does it matter to you?" You said you wouldn't meet me again.

Biting his lip, those sapphire eyes harden with unnecessary determination. "I need to talk to you."

"No, you don't. What you need to do is leave."

"Please? Just for a moment?"

Those pretty blue eyes beg at me and I just can't do this right now. This is so unfair, all I wanted was decent food, I should have never came back. Fucking pretty boys. I have this ridiculous desire to hug him. It's getting hard to breathe. This can't be happening. I need to leave. I'm running before I know it.

People scream, shout and curse in my direction. They're probably not happy to have me back. Food flies around me and birds frantically squawk. I'll have to come back and buy that Tipe bird later.

I know he's still chasing after me. I can feel it. Instinct takes over and I desperately push harder. Farther. Farther. I have run farther away. Why? Why am I running away? I'm overreacting. This is pathetic. He'll ruin everything.

Taking every turn I see, I won't look back this time. I'll lose him in the depths of this republic and everything will be fine. It'll be as if we never met. It'll be fine. Except it's not. Because my life never works out that way. Who would I be kidding?

Cutting in front of me, his hand whips out and grabs mine. The momentum spins me and together we crash into some alley, my body landing on his. My glasses are not on my face anymore but there's no time for that. Len's wincing in pain under me, moans slipping under my skin and I'm already trying to run again, this sort of thing is nothing.

"Please!"

His hand still somehow on my wrist, the pressure is way too tight for me to shake off. My chest hurts. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Why is this happening? "Please don't go." It's such a desperate sound. How pitiful. How pathetic. "Please." He begs. "Don't run away from me…." He says. But even more pathetic is me, the idiot still standing there.

His sapphire eyes bore into mine. Saints, they're so pretty. They look so sad. There are rocks in my ribcage. I want to cry. And maybe puke some more. I hate myself for feeling this way. Why do I feel this way? I only met him once for fuck's sake! So why am I stuck like this? Don't be an idiot. You have to get away, far away from this boy. Or else it might be too late for the both of you. You need to go.

"Yeash, didn't we already establish that it'd be bad to meet up again? I want you out of my life." Stop looking at me like that. "Let me the fuck go already." Leave me alone. "I don't know what you want from me," This was never supposed to happen. "you can't have it!"

Grinding his free hand over his eyes, his voice comes out as a whisper, practically nonexistent. "Please. Just one more day." I don't get it. "That's all I want from you. Just one more day…"

Why is this so hard? "No. I don't want to, for Saint's sake! Just! Just leave me alone already!" I hate myself. "Go and find some other girl to play around with! You'll probably have a better time!" You need to get your shit together.

"Don't you get it? I tried! I tried so hard. There are so many beautiful girls in this republic. But none of them are you….none of them are you." You are a fucking professional.

"Everyday, for this past two months, I told myself to forget about you. To pretend as if it never happened, you're just some girl I happened to crash into. But you helped me. You just grabbed my hand…and it felt like we were flying." Shit happens.

"For the last two months, I got stupidly excited every time I saw something remotely teal and…I…I just want to be near you. I want to hold your hand again. Saints, that sounds so stupid. I don't know what I'm doing anymore." But you're supposed to leave it behind.

"I want nothing to do with you."

"I figured as much. But please? Just one day. One date. And after that…I'll give up. I'll leave you alone…for good." His hand drops from his face, his eyes once again stare into mine. They're pleading with mine. "Please?"

So why are you still here?

"Just one day." My mouth decides before I do. "This is the last and final time." You're an idiot. "After today, you will never, ever, try to find me again." You should have said no. "Leave this republic if you have to. Is that clear?" This isn't going to end well.

And just like that, his beautiful face lights up in joy and relief. That's a face like that will kill me one day for sure. My time's already ticking.

Climbing off of him, I'm not even surprised I'm offering a hand to help him up. Grabbing on tightly, he pulls himself up, towering over me in seconds. Giving me a sad smile, he squeezes my hand in his. There's no point in doing this. We know that. I know that. But still…

I just can't help myself.


	5. Guess Who?

Hi everyone!

A thanks to Leek-Chi for following as well to everyone else keeping up with this. I hope you're all enjoying your holidays. I'll see you all again soon,

Sunset

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

 **4\. Guess Who**

* * *

For a while, we wander in silence, heading in no specific direction. Why did I think this was a good idea again? Jostled by the crowd every now and then, Len's hand feels stiff in mine. His eyes dart around everywhere, never once focusing on me. (That's right. I didn't.)

"You didn't plan any of this out, didn't you?"

Blushing lightly, he settles his eyes 30 degrees left of mine. "Well to be honest…I didn't think I'd get this far…I didn't really think I could get you to say yes…" Well that makes two of us.

"We could start off with food? I didn't have breakfast yet."

Eyes brightening at the idea, his hand loosens in mine. Smiling in relief, his lips part and maybe this won't be too bad after all. Except maybe not really because once again his fingers are tightening around mine, there's a dark look on his face, as if he's displeased with something. "…Do we have to go back to the guy you were with before?"

"You mean Kaito? Well, he does make the best food around." Wait a minute…is he...scowling? "What? Do you have something against Kaito?"

Looking at somewhere that's not my face, he mumbles, "No…not really…"

And then it clicks. "You're jealous, aren't you? You're worried about what Kaito might be to me." We _were_ standing pretty close.

"N-No! That's not it at all!" Ears bright red, this is way too cute. But still…

"Don't tell me…Did you actually fall for me? You barely know me."

"I…I don't know. I don't know what any of this is. What about you?" Finally looking straight at me, there's a challenge in his eyes. "You could have easily gotten away after we fell like that. Why did you stay? Why did you say yes?"

"You had a death grip on my wrist." You sound like a kicked puppy when you're sad. I like your eyes. I couldn't bear to say no.

"Is that really the only reason? Because I know you're stronger than that."

"Who knows?"

Stopping off on the side, Len simply looks at me. Eyes focusing on mine, I wonder what he sees. _Who_ does he see? _Can_ you see me, for what I am? I hope not. And just like that, his lips are on mine, what the fuck even?

But it's nice. This soft pressure on my lips, almost tentative but not exactly. Cupping the back of my head, his hand feels so big, I can feel the heat radiating off his skin. Fingers wrapped around his neck, he shivers just a bit, the tremble vibrating against me. Parting my lips, he follows my lead, goes on ahead, like permission granted, no air or space, how pleasant, intoxication, I'm supposed to be hating every second of this.

Breaking apart, greedy, ungraceful gasps of air, "I should have punched you."

Pupils dilated, lips barely hovering over mine, fingers almost pulling my hair, the look on his face, like he doesn't know what to think, like he's confused about something important. But it quickly passes, his face rearranging itself to something casual, almost nonchalant but not quite, his hands slipping down my hair, my back, he shrugs. "Then why didn't you?"

I don't know what to answer. His hands are warm. And before I can think of what I what I want to say, my stomach growls, loudly, a refusal to be ignored, a way out. "Can we go eat now? You can choose the place."

"Ok." Nodding his head, Len lets the subject drop. Fingers interlacing with mine, the tension lifts from his shoulders. Letting him lead the way, my footsteps match with his. I don't know what to call this feeling.

* * *

Ten minutes later, we are back at the heart of the marketplace, at a food stall that isn't Kaito's. Please let this food taste good. I really don't know what would be worse, dealing with Kaito and Len at the same time or possibly puking my guts into another trashcan. But then again, it's not like I haven't seen this stall before. To be honest, I've even considered buying from here, once or twice. But it's so fucking expensive and expensive doesn't always mean delicious. Life is weird like that.

Tugging on Len's hand, he looks down at me confused. Damn his tallness. "Look, this is nice and all but do you even have the money to afford food from here?"

The smirk on his face is sly, mischievous. I was right to think that he's dangerous. Whispering in my ear, he says, "But of course I do. Just because I've been searching for you for the last two months doesn't mean I haven't been working myself."

It's hard not to be skeptical, what kind of thief has the money to afford something like this casually? At the counter, Len asks a pretty waitress with choppy green hair and green eyes for the A meal set. He's going all out, isn't he? With an airy voice and a smile, waitress replies, "Very well sir, that'll be 50 Ethas."

Well fuck, just how good is this food supposed to be for it to cost that much? ...I'm kinda curious now. But even more curious is Len; rather than backing down, something in him shifts, from the way he stands to his very aura. Pouting just a bit, he says, "Hey, don't you think that's a bit too much for a plate of food? How about 25?"

Blushing lightly, a dust of pink across her cheeks, fingers clenched around her apron, she takes a breath and responds, "I'm sorry sir. Either you pay the appropriate amount of money or I'm afraid I must ask you to leave." I like her.

Next to me, the air shifts again and this all makes complete sense now...more or less. This is somewhat unexpected except not really.Leaning over the counter, his hand slipping out of mine, Len reaches out and gently brushes the waitress's hair to the side. Cupping her cheek, bring her closer to him, their lips practically touch, her resistance wavers. Someone should call sexual harassment on this guy. In a low voice, he pleads, "Please? Just this once?"

Even from here, I can see the way he looks at her. It's…different from how he looks at me. He's still begging but it's devious, dangerous, the sort of temptation that really can't be denied. There is nothing honest about it.

In his hands, the girl turns a bright red, she's done for. Using his free hand, he reaches out for the waitress's hand and places a few bills into her open palm before folding her fingers shut along with his. She never had a chance, did she? Enraptured, with a glaze in her eye, she slips the money into the apron and nearly dashes into the kitchen to grab the food, shoving it almost desperately in Len's direction. With a wink, he mouths 'thanks' before grabbing me by the hand and finding us a small table to sit at. He doesn't look back.

Glancing between at the food on the table and the boy that put it there, I can feel the smirk on my face. So he could do that but he couldn't look at me in the eye for the first eight minutes? Cute. Yet frightening. "Impressive show you put there. So I'm guessing hearts are among the many things you steal, huh? What a dangerous pretty boy you are…."

Leaning back comfortably into his chair, Len smirks right back and says, "Like I said. Some of us have to get by somehow." Then he pauses for a moment before sitting up again and locking his eyes on mine. He's staring carefully at me, like he's searching for something. What, I don't know. "But please don't misunderstand Pretty Girl…what we're doing now…this isn't a game or some sort of ploy. I'm being serious, ok?"

Don't trust him.

Without acknowledging his words, it's easier to just look down and take my first bite of the food in front of me.

...Holy shit. This is….this is….. _possibly_ the best food I've ever eaten! No! No…Screw that! This **is** the best food I've ever eaten! Sorry Kaito, but your food has just been beat. Such savory and tender bird meat. The spices are mixed perfectly…the vegetables are cooked to perfection…and the rice isn't even over or under cooked. It's like those last two months of pain and terrible food never happened. Saints this stuff is amazing!

"Len, would you like to try some…"

And the chair that once held a devious pretty boy is now empty, body heat fading.

My fork clatters against my plate, the sound tinny and distance, should I really have expected anything different? How stupid of me. I just hope he didn't take all my money. Who am I kidding? This was a stupid idea from the start anyways. I should have known better. At least I got a good meal out of this.

Getting up to clean, I don't know what I hate more. The fact that I'm scared to check for my money in my pocket or the fact that I'm feeling this hurt. Adjusting my cloak, I can feel the weight of bills, so he didn't take anything after all. Ok. Fine. _How kind._ Things will be better this way. They will. I know that. So why won't my feet move? Why am I still holding on? It's so simple. All I have to do is put one foot in front of the other and forget this all ever happened. This was a mistake from the very beginning. I've been played. I know that. And yet, here I am, waiting for someone that won't and shouldn't come back. I really am an idiot.

But enough! It's time to go. I have shopping to do. I don't have the time to be pathetic. Pushing towards the bustling crowd, I'm immediately yanked back by my wrist. I'm not relieved. Really. Whipping around, this is happening way too often for it to be ok. He's going to break my wrist at this rate. " **What gives?** "

The hand holding me is shaking ever so slightly. Biting his lips, he pleads, "Please don't leave. Stay with me for just a little bit longer."

Looking so weak, so…vulnerable, I don't know what to believe. Who are you really, Pretty Boy Len? Lifting my other hand, the one that isn't being held captive yet again, my fingernail traces the curve of his face, simply because I can. I'm not happy. Really. I'm not. A shiver runs through him and I find myself forgiving him just a little bit. "You left first."

Frantically shaking his head no, he splutters out, "No…I didn't leave. Ah…well….I did but I was going to come back straight back and I did! Wait..No…What I meant to say is….I wanted to get you this."

Letting go of my wrist, making sure I'll stay, he reaches into his pocket. Taking my hand from his face, he flips it palm up and places his present down. It's a hair ornament and it's so… exquisite. Made up of deep blue fabric flowers and small pieces of delicate gray lace, it's beautiful and I could never afford this in my lifetime. Thousands of emotions flow through me, most of them undesired, but what comes out of my lips is, "You stole this, didn't you?"

A light chuckle echoes in my ears and with a smile in his voice, he replies, "Yeah. I did. But that's not a surprise, now is it?"

I'm smiling and I don't know why. "No, it's not." There's something seriously wrong with me.

Guiding me back into the chair I just left, Len stands behind me, fingers pulling down my hair ties. "What are you doing?" There's no point in staying.

"You see, it's like this Pretty Girl. After you took your first bite, there was just this look of pure joy on your face. It was like you just experienced heaven or something as equally amazing. And even though you were so caught up in your food, I didn't mind at all. It made me happy to know that I was the one that put such a happy expression on your face." But I really want to.

"And as I continued to watch you eat, I realized that I really liked your hair. It's a gorgeous color and it's so pretty and long, not like the other girls in this republic that prefer to keep it short. I wanted to play with it, you know?" How idiotic.

"And that was how I got the idea to get you a hair ornament. I have to admit, it was a little hard to choose one at first because teal isn't an easy color to match with. But the moment I saw this blue one, I knew that it would look great on you…so yeah."

I know. "Hmmmm….ok. That makes sense, I guess. But I still have a question."

"Ok…?"

Waving my hand in his general direction, this is way too curious to not know. You're going to break your heart. "Just when did you learn to style hair? Even Gakupo, with his long hair, had a hard time styling mine." There's nothing left to break though. That's what you think.

"Gakupo? Who's that?"

Shit. I have to be careful. I'm becoming too careless. "Ah. He used to be my guardian a while back."

Len ponders for a moment before asking "And he had long hair too?"

Nodding my head, I have to watch my words around this guy. Why don't you leave him all together? "Yeah. It was really long and elegant looking."

Understanding rings in his voice. "Ah! I get it now!"

Fuck. "What do you get?"

"Well, like I said, most girls in this republic keep their hair really short. You're actually the first girl I've seen with hair as long as yours. So for a while, I've been wondering why. And now I get it. The length of your hair reminds you of him, doesn't it?"

Dangerous….He's even more dangerous than I thought. Nothing good will come out of this. "You never answered my question." I KNOW!

"Oh yeah! That's right. Well to answer your question, the reason would be my mother."

"Your mother?"

"Yeah. You see, my mother was always nervous about strangers. For some reason I never understood, she was always afraid of other people. If it wasn't for her arranged marriage, I doubt she would have ever gotten married."

But the thing is, she had this beautiful long hair. Not as long as yours but it was long enough. Since she never let a hair arranger near her, my twin sister and I would always do it for her. It was something special between the three of us. And….and even after she died, I continued to do my sister's hair so I guess after a while, I just became really good at it, you know?"

There's a lot I want to ask. How did his mother die? What is his sister's name? Did he leave her behind? Does he miss her? But I'm not that stupid (and thank the Saints for that). Just like I have my own box of secrets, I am absolutely sure that he has his. I will not cross our boundaries. This isn't something that will last past today anyways. There's no point in knowing. Then why are you still here? I don't know. But sitting here, watching the crowd with Len's fingers in my hair, it's…nice. I wouldn't mind doing this again. Not that it will.

Plucking the hair ornament from my idle fingers, it seems that he's finishing up. And with a final tug, Len does declare himself done. Lifting my hands, it's hard to get a feel for how I look just by touching. "How do I look?"

Crossing in front of me, he says, "Absolutely gorgeous." My doubt must be showing through my face because he goes on to say, "But you don't believe me, do you?"

"No. Not really." I'd be stupid to trust you.

Pouting just a bit, Len shakes his head with a sad smile. Leaning down, he presses a gentle kiss on the side of my head before standing back up and offering his hand out. "Come on Pretty Girl. Let's go find you a mirror."

Grasping his hand tightly in mine, I allow him to pull me out of my chair. Sticking to the side so that we aren't jostled by the masses of people going through, our hands slowly swing between us and I can't help but notice the amount of people are staring at us. They feel like they're coming from every direction. More often than not, most people turn back to get a second glance before rushing off. You're attracting too much attention.

"Len….I look strange, don't I?"

Surprised, he answers, "What makes you think that?"

"People keep staring at us, giving us strange looks. I know those looks aren't for you."

Seconds pass before understanding registers in Len's eyes. And when he does, he lets out a light laugh, as if I've said something funny. "Well, you're right. Those looks aren't for me. They're for you. I told you already, you're absolutely gorgeous."

"That seriously can't be the reason."

"But it is. It's really that simple. I know you don't believe me but that's ok. I like a good challenge every now and then."

"So is that what I am? A challenge? Something for you to try to conquer for a day?"

Stopping mid step, the wide look in Len's eyes is almost comical. "What? No! No. That's not what I meant at all!"

"Oh? Then what _did_ you mean?"

"I…I just…I mean…I _like_ the fact that you're just not blindly agreeing with everything I say just because I'm more…attractive than most guys in the area."

"So you _are_ aware of how ridiculously pretty you look."

"Ugh...Well, yeah! It's kind of hard not to when there's all of these people just falling at your feet as soon as you make eye contact! But this isn't about me! This is about you!"

" _Me_?"

"Yeah you! You're ridiculously pretty too! You're small and cute looking and your eyes are like mini oceans and there's no one who wouldn't agree that teal hair isn't awesome and anyways the point is with your hair up like that you look really elegant and I really just want to kiss you, wait, no, forget I said that, just, ugh! Let's just get you to a mirror! I can't deal with this right now!"

Grabbing me by the hand, he's just dragging me in a general direction now, the tips of his ears bright red. Looking behind me, the vendors around us are all trying to stifle chuckles, some of them not even bothering and others giving me a thumbs up. Just what did I get myself into?

"See! Look!"

Planting me in front of a mirror from some random stall, I'm face to face with a girl I don't recognize. Hair wound up in a complex array of interconnecting braids, it all rests almost regally on the back of her head. And there on the side of her head, is a hair ornament, deep blue and grey. She really is gorgeous.

You'd be stupid to think that's you. I know.

"Thank you Len."

Standing off, he simply nods, the blush still on his face.

"And you owe me a new pair of glasses…no…make that two pairs."

In the mirror, I can see the cogs turning in his head. And soon enough there's laughter bubbling on his lips.

"You got it Pretty Girl."

He doesn't say anything more after that but there's a huge smile on his face.

* * *

Going about buying my groceries is almost normal. But every so often, Len's hand flashes out and grabs some small good or snack. A muffin. Hairpins. A delicate whistle. Beautiful gloves. Sometimes, it's for him. And sometimes it's for me. I tried resisting at first but Len is stupidly persistent when he want to be, claiming that it'd be something to remember him by. Doesn't he know that's the last thing I want? And yet, like the idiot I am, I find myself accepting every gift, my pockets growing heavy with stolen goods. I really do hate myself sometimes, I'll definitely be regretting this tomorrow. Hell, I'm already regretting it today. Unfortunately, it's not enough to stop.

Somehow, we've ended up in a small park with some scattered Bell Trees. The stars are pretty tonight but when did it get this late? How am I ever going to let go? Is this where I say I told you so? Shut up. Looking back at the pretty boy holding my hand, he's watching me too, isn't he? I really do like his eyes. I still want to keep them. Too bad I can't.

In just a little bit, this will all end and it'll be like it never happened. Everything will go back to normal. But even so…I want to stay like this just a little longer. There's no point in still trying to be sensible for today.

Smiling sadly, his free hand unties my cloak. He better not be getting any weird ideas. It falls to the ground with a clatter, released from the weight of his stolen goods. Singing a song loud enough for both of us to hear, I'm swept into his arms, it's rather comfortable there.

 _We saw off the vanishing contrails  
It was too glaring and I ran away- I was weak at all times  
And regretting that I couldn't stay unchanged since that day  
That I couldn't stay unchanged forever  
I let go of your fingers_

 _That bird still can't fly well  
But it'll learn of slicing through the wind someday  
An unreachable place still exists afar  
Keeping my wish only to myself, I gaze at it_

At first, I'm dreadfully clumsy. I don't remember how to dance. But Len is patient, stupidly so. He doesn't mind that I step on his toes. And slowly, surely, the moves come back to me from the depths of the memories of a child taught long ago.

 _The windmill's blades spinning in that sky  
Dream the same dream forever  
I'm always gazing at the unreachable place  
I kept my wish, the bird's dream, to myself_

 _When I look back, even if the cumulonimbus clouds  
Concealing the sunburnt railroad tracks change shape  
May we remember  
The yesterday the seasons left behind_

Under the starry sky, we spin and dance, taking turns singing different songs. In the distance, the Bell Trees chime along. He has a nice voice. I wouldn't mind hearing it again.

 _We chased and chased the vanishing contrails  
And we burst into laughter at the too-early sign, forever  
For our gazes to look straight ahead  
Even if your hand is soaked in sweat, I won't let go of it, always_

 _We saw off the vanishing contrails  
It was too glaring and I ran away- I was weak at all times  
And regretting that I couldn't stay unchanged since that day  
That I couldn't stay unchanged forever  
I let go of your fingers_

But time is up. We both know it. There is no point lying to ourselves and just like that, we stop, gently panting with exhaustion. I should let go. I should walk away. This needs to end. But I don't want this to end. I want to be stupid and selfish.

But I made a promise to myself. I made a promise to Gakupo. So I'll let go. For his sake and mine. This was never meant to happen. These ridiculous feelings were never meant to exist. You know this.

Pretty Boy Len, you will belong to someone else. You cannot belong to me. You're too dangerous to keep.

It's Len who speaks up first. His voice is a soft whisper. "Hey Pretty Girl? I don't want to let go…You don't want to let go either, do you?"

Stop. No. Don't even think about it. You can't do this. "Len. This has to end. You promised me. You said this would last for only today."

There is so much despair on his face. I hate myself for feeling guilty like this. I hate myself for not wanting to let go. "Please let me go Len. "

Staring up at the sky, he doesn't look at me again. "I really don't want to Pretty Girl. I really, really don't want to."

Stop it. Don't even consider it. You know you can't. "I could end up killing you one day."

"That'd be ok. I wouldn't mind. I deserved to be killed anyways. I wouldn't mind if it was you."

"Don't be a fucking idiot Len."

"Sorry, I was born one."

Don't be a fucking idiot Miku. You know this can't last forever. You'll ruin him. He'll ruin you. This was never supposed to happen. You'll get over it. These feelings in your chest are nothing important. They'll kill you if you let them. Please don't do this to yourself.

But this boy…this boy with pretty blue eyes that shine like sapphires. This boy…sly and awkward, devious yet nervous, dishonest and sincere, dangerous and safe, which one is the real him? I'm curious. I want to know. So what if I stayed? For just a little longer? I could just continue this game…until it's out of my system…and everything will be for the better. Right? (Wrong.)

"Len…This is a really bad idea."

"I know."

Staring up at the sky, his hand grips mine, as if this was normal, as if _we_ were normal. Thumb rubbing over my skin, I can't help but _want_. I want it all so bad. Fuck you Len. I could have gone on ignoring all of this if we never met. I'm curious. I want to be happy. I want to be happy with _you._ I want so much. I will definitely regret this one day and so will you.

Finally looking down at me, he simply _looks_. Eyes clouded by the darkness, he doesn't do anything as I push up on my toes. One hand held tight in his, the other latches behind his head, bringing it closer to me. Pressing my lips against his, I can't help but hate myself for being so weak. This will end horribly. But as Len kisses me back, I'm so stupidly happy, I just can't stop.

Saints, help us both.


	6. Spot the Difference

Hey everyone!

Thanks so much for all the support as per usual. I really am having so much fun, writing this to be somewhat different than what it was.

Anyways, the reason I'm posting this a day early is because I'll be going on a trip for about three weeks and I don't know if I'll have WiFi where I'm going. So I may/may not be posting until then.

Love, Sunset

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

 **5\. Spot the Difference**

* * *

I'm so stupid. Fuck. Saints. Fuck. Why am I so stupid? Why is Len so stupid? Staring up at my stupid ceiling, nothing's changed. It looks just like it did yesterday. It's still hideous and bumpy looking. It still has the same fucking holes and there are still fucking water stains across it, webbing out in fucking crooked branches. It's the same ceiling I see every fucking morning. Nothing in my life has changed. Except it did. It fucking did and it was never supposed to. Fuckfuckfuckfuck **FUCK**!

Saints, what is going on? What am I doing? This is getting out of control. Somebody help me. I don't even know what to think right now, what to feel. Happy? Grateful? Hopeful? Excited? Worried? Stressed? Scared? Regretful? I don't know. I don't fucking know! I can't do this. My head hurts. Saints! What was I thinking? I have to call this off as soon as I see him. This can't keep going on. This is bad, so fucking bad. I'm going to die and he's going to die and it would be all my fault…and that's the last thing I want.

I don't want to ruin him. Please, Saints, I don't want to be the one that ruins his life. So why is this so hard?

 _Fingers slowly sliding up my arm, caressing my cheek, lost in my hair, braids are falling down my back._

AGGHHRRHH Don't think about it!

 _Heart racing, pounding, a wild beat, desperation, closer, closer, heat, warmth, broken breaths, more._

Stop. Stop. Stopstopstopstopstopthisrightnow.

 _Can't stand, legs around his waist, this is good. This tree hurts, fucking trees, but this is good. Hot. It's hot. Actually more. Give me more. Touch me more. Kiss me more. Just…_

You don't need this right now…Even if it was kinda nice…or really nice….

 _BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNNGGGG!_

Oh yeah. That happened. Fuck.

 _Oh fuck…fuckfuckfuckfuck. Maybe if I just…No. No. I can't. I can't. Saints, why? Why? Panting against my neck, harsh breaths, "Is everything ok?"_

 _BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNNGGGG!_

 _No. It's not. Everything is_ _ **not**_ _ok. Don't look at me like that. Stop letting me believe I'm allowed to have more._

" _My calling device…" Pointing in its direction, it's still where I left it, in one of my cloak pockets, mixed in with the trinkets stolen by Len. Fuck. My hand's shaking, isn't it? FUCK! "Please…get it?"_

 _BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIINNNGGGG!_

You know, he could probably sense it, couldn't he? The danger we were in. I wonder what he was thinking then…Is he regretting this too? I hope so.

 _Setting me down, he's over at my cloak, rummaging through it at a startling speed. He's definitely not an amateur thief anymore, that's for sure. Grabbing the black device, throwing it with a flick of his wrist, there was no doubt that I wouldn't be able to catch it._

 _BRRRIIIINNNGGGG! BRRRIIIIN -_

 _"Yes?"_

 _"_ _ **MIKU! WHAT TOOK YAH SO LONG TO FUCKING ANSWER!?**_ _"_

It's been so long since I've made Sir that angry.

 _"I'm sorry Sir. I was in the bathroom."_

Saints, that was so scary.

 _"Well next time, take the fucking device in there with yah! This will not happen again,_ _ **do yah understand**_ _?"_

 _"Yes Sir. I understand perfectly."_

 _"Good. Now I want yah here by 1:30."_

And like usual, he hung up. I guess some things really don't change. Len looked so fucking worried…and so fucking scared to ask…but he did anyways. The fucking idiot did anyways.

 _"Everything alright?"_

" _No." Everything is not all right._

Should I have lied?

 _There's nothing on his face. I can't read him like this. Coming closer, rubbing my head gently before pushing it onto his shoulder, his fingers slip into my hair, deftly unworking the remaining braids. What am I doing?_

Probably.

 _"Would you like me to take you home?"_

" _No."_

 _I need to go. Kissing the top of my head, settling my cloak over my shoulders, it's like he already knows. But what? What does he know? Fingers lingering over my collarbones, I don't want to go. "Tomorrow. Noon. At the central fountain." I need to go._

" _Ok."_

He's so stupid. I'm so stupid. After all he saw, why did he ask me out again? Why did I agree? This is going to end so…so…badly. And yet I can't find it in me to end this. I really am the worst kind of person. Maybe I should just suffocate myself with this pillow, do the world a fucking favor.

You can't. You have debts to pay off, remember? …Right.

But you know, it almost feels like nothing's changed. Staring up at the same old ceiling, it almost feels true.

But on the table is the new box full of 7.62x66mm bullets I brought before coming home. And right next to it is a small pile of stolen goods from yesterday, the blue and grey hair ornament sitting right in the middle.

Saints, I fucked up. Nothing will ever be the same after this, will it?

* * *

Ok. Ok. Okokok. I've decided. I will end this today. This shouldn't have happened in the first place. This can't be allowed to continue. This sort of stupidity will end today.

It has to.

Heading towards Kaito's stall for breakfast, the wind blows stronger than usual today. Whipping my hair and dress around, half of the people in in this crowd are glaring at me and the other half are just looking with amusement. I look fucking ridiculous, don't I? Maybe I should just stuff my hair under my cloak and call it a day…except my cloak is flying about too so it probably wouldn't even do anything. Today is gonna suck, isn't it?

Finally reaching the counter, I have to hold my hair down so the Bu birds don't snag at it. Feeling the lightness of my purse, I _know_ I'm going to have to buy a cheaper meal today. Damn bullet rates.

"Hey, are you okay?!" Leaning over the counter, the worry on Kaito's face is overwhelming.

Oh. Yeah. Kaito was there when Len showed up…and I ran away…well fuck.

"Um…yeah. I'm fine. It was stupid."

Flashing me a skeptical look, it takes him less than a second to respond. "Are you sure about that? You're not in any trouble, are you? That blonde guy looked like trouble….Are you sure you don't need any help?"

"…No. I'm sure." My chest hurts. When was the last time I've been questioned like this…? Since Gakupo? Probably. "I'm fine Kaito…but thanks."

Fingers digging into the counter, he says, "You do know that anytime you need help, I'll be there for you, right?"

Saints, I really fucked up, didn't I? He was never supposed to care this much. "…Yes. I'll be sure to remember that…Now, as for my order, I'll take….the F meal today."

Eyebrows raised, the surprise is clear on his voice. "Really? Don't you usually prefer the B or C meal?"

"Well…yeah….but I'm a bit low on money today." Grabbing some bills from my purse, it's easy to ignore the concern in his eyes. "It's fine, I'm sure all of your meals taste great."

Frowning, Kaito takes the money from my hand. I really don't want to deal with this right now. But he doesn't say anything more. Bu birds squawking in distress, his yellow apron flutters and I just need today to end.

But time doesn't work that way apparently and already Kaito is in front of me again, handing me a B meal, a blank look on his face. His voice beats me before I can even open my mouth. In his eyes, there's something almost…possessive. With those eyes, he says, "It's ok. Call it an exclusive bargain, if you will. "

"Um…Yeah." _What?_ "…Thank you Kaito…I'll…see you tomorrow." Saints, why can't today just end? I _really_ don't want to deal with any of this.

Eat. I just need to eat. Everything will be better if I just eat. Yeah. But going over to my usual table, I can still feel his eyes on my back. Fuck, I should have never gotten out of bed...

"Is somethi – "

Shock on his face, nothing is the same, is it? When did I lose control of my life? "…See you tomorrow Mystery Girl." There's no point in promising anyone tomorrow. There's no reason in starting now. Fuck you Len.

Just go eat. But even as I eat, Kaito's eyes don't leave my back. His stare burns and how am I supposed to pretend that none of this is happening when it's so clearly happening?

"Kaito!"

"…Yes?"

"…It's nothing."

Smooth. I hate this. I know. I don't want to deal with this. Then don't. Just let it bite you in the ass later. Why is he acting like this? Men are complicated. And speaking of complicated…

In the crowd, there's this familiar golden head bobbing along in the crowd. Sun glinting against it, it looks _really_ familiar. But no, it can't be. It is. There are tons of blonde haired people in this republic. Stop kidding yourself. There's no way that can be him. But it is. I'm just being paranoid. _Right._

But the wind picks up and my hair sails with it and like most people in the crowd, that golden head stops and stares. Well fuck. Told you. Eyes meeting mine, those sapphire orbs glow with joy and they're already heading this way, pushing through the thick mass of people. There's this idiotic smile on his face and I feel guilty already. Fuck my life. I just knew today would suck.

"…Morning, Len." I'm so not ready for this.

Pressing a light kiss to the side of my head, he answers, "Good Morning, Pretty Girl." The stare on my back hardens and shifts. Saints, this isn't going to end well, is it? No it's not. I hate this. I know. Why is he doing this? He hates Len. Why? Who knows. Well, can't he hate him as he works or something? Apparently not.

Focusing my attention on Len, I say all the wrong things. "What are you doing here so early? I thought we were supposed to meet at noon?"

Can I crawl back into bed now?

With a shameless smile, he replies, "People tend to have their guards down early in the morning…"

No, you can't. You need to end this first.

"Oh really? I'll make sure to keep that in mind in case I ever need to steal something."

Sitting there across from me, Len babbles about an array of things. The wind, some of the stall owners he "encountered", etcetera. It's cute but at the same time, he's clearly tense. It's when I'm on my last bite does he finally ask. "Ummmm…Miku? Do you know why he's is staring at us?" Len doesn't even have to specify who he's talking about because it's _that_ obvious. "Is he…angry about yesterday?"

"… He's just worried…I think. I'm not really sure what's up with him but I guess I'll introduce you two when I'm done." Maybe that'll finally lodge that stick out of his ass.

Nodding slowly, a wary look passes over Len's face. I can't blame him. Kaito's creeping me out too. "Ok…and that reminds me. Here."

From his pocket, he produces a two pairs of simple black rimmed glasses and gently places one of them on my face. It has no prescription. "About time you brought me new glasses. I was expecting them sooner, as in sometime yesterday."

"Yeah…well… I like your eyes. I wanted to have a good view of them."

"Selfish."

"I know." Handing me the second pair, he adds, "I also know that you really don't like to stand out. So I'll be careful now. I won't keep breaking them…"

"So you were doing it on purpose?"

"Not…really…the first time was definitely an accident. And the second time, well…I might have seen them on the ground and failed to pick them up…"

"Ass."

"A loveable one?"

"Who knows?"

Pouting at my response, he continues to sit there with a playfully injured look in his eyes, watching me clear away my garbage. Even as I start heading over to Kaito, he still stays sitting, arms childishly crossed over his chest. I could just leave him behind here. But I'm an idiot and I'm offering my hand and this time…I know what I'm doing…somewhat. Except not really. Aren't I supposed to be ending this? You are. What the fuck Miku? What _are_ you doing? I wish I knew. You really are an idiot to the highest degree. So true. Just deal with Kaito now. End it with the boy later. By today. Got it? Yeah. Good.

Smiling in delight at the gesture, Len grabs my hand instantly, petulance quickly left behind. Is any of this even necessary? No. Then why am I doing this again? We like Kaito's food? Right.

"Kait – "

"You're wearing glasses now…."

Rude.

"…Yeah. This guy broke my last two pairs and he finally gave me new ones. Well anyways, Kaito, this is Len. Len, Kaito. Now could you stop glaring at us? I don't like it."

Pulling an odd face, Kaito just seems…mad, but not exactly. When he speaks again, his voice sounds strained, as if he's holding back…something. "What is the relationship between you two?"

It's practically the same question Len asked me yesterday. I really do hate today. Why is this all so unnecessarily complicated? _I_ don't even know what the fuck we are, if we're anything at all. Are all men this annoying? Yeah, they are actually.

It's Len who answers. "What does it matter to _you_?"

" _Everything_." In a low voice, Kaito says, "I don't trust you a single bit. You reek of trouble and it'll only be too easy for you to hurt her. Give me one reason I shouldn't hand you over to the cops this second, you miserable thief."

"It's simple. The fact that Miku remotely likes me is enough for you. You _won't_ do anything because you'd hate to be the one to make her cry, wouldn't you?"

Wait? What? Well that escalated quickly. What the fuck even? What is going on right now? You have two guys fighting over you. I did not sign up for this. I don't know, this is kind of entertaining.

"Wait… _Miku_?" Coming from Kaito, there's this mixture of surprise and hurt on his face. _Finally_ , an emotion that's recognizable. Saints, why did I bother waking up today? I really should have just killed myself with that pillow. Debts. Don't forget about your debts.

"Ah that's right, you didn't even know her name, did you?"

Better plan: just kill me now. DEBTS.

"ENOUGH! Shut up, all of you! Saints, I don't even know where to start with you two, this is fucking ridiculous. Kaito, what I am to other people really doesn't matter to you. And Len, stop getting ahead of yourself. Fuck, I really don't need this right now. I really, really don't need this right now. "

This is what I get for being stupid and weak willed. Told you you'd regret this. You too.

"Len, what even makes you say that my name is Miku because I sure as hell didn't tell you that."

Looking at anywhere that's not my face, he mumbles, "It's what the guy on the calling device called you last night so I figured…"

Ok. Ok. O.K. Leave it so Sir to fuck things up without even meaning to. I'm pretty sure he lives to do that.

"What? So you just assumed that was my name? What if it wasn't? What if it was something else entirely? And so what if it is? Did I give you permission to go around calling it? NO! AGGHH! I am so fucking mad right now. Saints! I'm so fucking mad. Len, let go of my fucking hand right now, I do not want to deal with you right now. And Kaito, when I come back for my breakfast tomorrow, I better not have to deal with any of this bullshit or you can be sure I'll be eating somewhere else. "

AGGHHHH fuck men and today and people and my life, just… _enough._ Please? I don't know who I'm more angry at, those two or myself. If I never got involved with either, I wouldn't even be dealing with this right now.

"Mi – Pretty Girl! Wait!"

No.

"Pretty Girl, I'm sorry!"

You fucking should be. You know what? I better just end this now. That's what I was trying to tell you from the beginning. I should have just done this from the very beginning, not floundering around like a fucking idiot. Changing directions, knowing Len will follow, we end up at the central fountain in a matter of minutes, just like we were supposed to. Would you look at that? It's noon. How fucking perfect.

Panting heavily, Len stops in front of me, desperation and regret in his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"We're done."

Panic in his eyes, his hands flutter about, stuck between wanting to grab me and giving me my distance. "No. Please. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I won't pick another fight with him. I won't call you anything you don't want me to. But please…don't…don't end this. Not yet."

Running a hand over my face, why does this boy make everything harder than it needs to be? "Len, look, even without what just happened, I was going to break it off with you today anyways."

"What? Why?"

"I can't do this. We can't do this. If I was another other person, this might have worked out for you. But out of all the people in this republic, you happened to crash into me and that was the first mistake. What happened yesterday should have never happened…I…I just don't want to be the reason you end up dead. Don't make me the reason you end up dead in an alley."

"But Miku…I told you yesterday…I don't care if I end up dead."

"But I do! Don't you get it Len? I care!"

"Then stay by my side. Protect me so that I don't end up dead in an alleyway. That way we both get what we want."

"Are you stupid? What kind of selfish bastard are you? It's not that easy! That's not something I can promise you! I can't spend my days protecting you when I could just easily solve the problem by not being near you!"

"Please Miku? Let me stay by your side?"

"Don't call me that."

"Please Miku? Let me be the one to call your name? I'll fight it. If someone tries to kill me, I'll fight back. I'll make it back to you, that way you won't be sad and alone again. I just want to be with you."

"WHY Len? That's what I don't fucking get! Why? Why me? Why can't it be anyone else?" Why can't I just let go?

"…I don't know. I really just know. All I do know is that I couldn't stay away even if I wanted to."

Reaching out his hand towards my face, I'm slapping it away before I can fully register it. I hate everything. I can't do this. Then don't.

"You're crying."

"I hate you." Especially you.

"Please don't."

"Why are you making this so hard for me?"

"I want to be special to you. Let me be special to you."

"The last guy that was special to me died. Are you willing to be next?"

"...Yeah."

You should have walked away when you had the chance. Saints, I know! You don't think I know that? This is pretty pathetic, you're crying pretty hard. I **know.** But this isn't fair! When is anything fair? I never wanted any of this. This wasn't supposed to be so complicated. I was never supposed to become attached, especially this quickly. It's been, what? Two days? Fucking ridiculous. I should have walked away when I had the chance. What am I going to do now? Break it off with him? But I can't even say no! Look, if that's the case, then at this point, all you _can_ do is make the choice you'll regret the least. Well what if I'll regret them both equally? What then? Then choose the one that make you happiest. Isn't that what got me into this mess? Yeah. But you've already fucked things up beyond repair. Nothing will ever be the same after this, no matter what you choose. May as well go with it and see where it takes you. That sounds like an awful idea. I know. Got anything better? No. Saints, what an awful game this is. The absolute worst.

"Ok."

"What?"

"Ok. You can stay by my side a little longer. You can call me Miku. I don't know what's going to happen from here. But just know that I warned you." This wasn't going to end well one way of the other.

Coming closer, closer, slowly closer, Len stops in front of me. Wrapping his arms around me, I'm pressed against his chest. His heart beats under my head and I don't think I've ever been more scared of the future.


	7. Chess

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

 **6\. Chess**

* * *

"Sir, I've completed tonight's job."

Standing in front of his desk, the clock ticks and like usual, he doesn't look up at me. After all, I'm nothing important. I know this. He knows this. We know this. I'm just a fucking pawn for him to use, something useful but can still be thrown away at any time. That's the sort of game this is.

But no…that's not exactly right. I'm something lower than a pawn, aren't I? Because even pawns have choices, technically, I think. What choices do I hold? Could I back out of this if I wanted to? I'm not sure anymore. You can't.

Calmly, he asks, "Did you run into any trouble?"

"No Sir. None at all."

Still engrossed in whatever he is doing, Sir still doesn't bother looking up at me. The most he does is nod his head in approval. What do you want from him anyways? A fucking gold medal? No! No. I…just…I don't know…just…I'm pretty worthless, aren't I? Yeah, you are.

"Very good Miku. That's my girl." Like usual, he throws a small pile of money in my direction. The small wad lands in my grasp and it's almost pointless, weighing the bundled bills in my hands. But I do anyways. How much more do you think? Billions, probably. Right.

Waiting for his words of dismissal, the seconds tick by on the old clock above the door. The sound resonates in the room, echoing in the small space.

Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok. Tik.

And now this is getting weird. Usually, Sir dismisses me as soon as he's done talking to me. I'm nothing more than a waste of space anyways. So what gives? Does he know already? It wouldn't surprise me if he did.

And then he looks up. You know, I liked it better when we couldn't see his eyes. I wonder if his hair is naturally grey or if it's just old age. Saints, please just say something already. The scar on his face seems to squirm with the slightest of movements, it's getting hard to breathe. Don't be fucking weak about this. You've been working for this guy for years. Get over it already. My gaze meets his head on and I control the tremor that threatens to rock my body. This is nothing. I am a professional. Damn straight.

"Is something the matter Sir?"

"I don't know Miku. **Is** something the matter?"

Well fuck. "Not that I know of Sir."

"Are you sure? Nothing's changed?"

Play stupid. "In my life? No. Nothing has changed."

This time, a sliver of irritation marks his tone. "Miku. Are you lying? Are you holding something back from me? You do realize that it'd be pointless to hide **anything** from me, don't you?"

It's working…I think. "But Sir….I'm not lying. Nothing has changed in my life. Why would anything ever change?"

"Yes. Why? Why would something change? Tell me Miku."

"I...I don't know..."

An uncomfortable silence settles between us as Sir continues to regard me. His eyes slowly crawl up and down my body, trying to gauge my body language. This is nothing. Nothing at all. I'm not scared. I'm not creeped out. I'm fine. I'm totally fine. There's nothing wrong at all. Nothing has changed in my life at all. Everything is normal. Everything is fine. Ha, you wish. Shut up.

Satisfied for the moment, he barks out," Leave."

He doesn't have to tell me twice.

* * *

Heading into the closet, I'm so glad it's finally starting to get warmer these days. The cold season is way too annoying to deal with. Dressed in my usual grey, twin tails in perfect symmetry, glasses on my face, I can't help but be continuously amused by the growing pile of stolen goods on my table. Even if I wasn't as assassin, it seems that just by going out with a thief makes you a criminal by association. Grabbing the wad of money sitting nearby, crisp and bound, it falls into my cloak pocket, ready to go.

Let's get through today too.

* * *

Ever since Len came along, Kaito's changed. Some part of me gets it…somewhat. He doesn't like Len and he doesn't like Len with me. I'm still not exactly sure why. But still. What stupid decisions I decide to make with my life are none of his fucking concern. Even now, his eyes always seem to be on my back and I hate it. I miss the guy who used to joke around with me every morning. I don't think I'll be getting him back any time soon.

Not only that, but recently, he's had this weird look in his eyes. I feel like I'm close to figuring it out but I'm just not there yet. I know there's worry and contempt in there. But what else? I know it's something important. Jealously maybe? Longing? Desolation? What?! Maybe I'll figure it out tomorrow. But probably not. I hate this kind of uncertainty. Fuck him and his good yet affordable food.

In front of me, Len sits with his head in one hand, looking lazily out into the crowd, probably picking out potential victims. The fine strands of his hair shine with the odd ray of sunlight peeking through and I want to do nothing more than to run my fingers through it. It's hard holding back sometimes.

Eyes trailing down his free hand, today a single finger taps on our wooden table. It's a beat that sounds familiar and recent. "Hey Len?"

At the sound of my voice, his finger stops. Turning towards me, a content smile grows, stretching across his face. It's frightening, how _domestic_ we're becoming. "What is it Miku?"

"What your finger was tapping out…why does it sound familiar?"

For a moment, he looks confused, as if he doesn't know what I'm talking about. He stares at his finger, as if it holds all the answers. And maybe it does because after a minute, he replies, "Oh. It's a song that I've heard floating around recently. It's been strangely popular recently. I don't know the name of it but…."

"Oh! _Tell Your World_. That's why the beat seemed so familiar. It's unexpectedly catchy."

"Yeah…it sure is…." Suddenly, Len's eyes light up. They seem excited. Excited for what? "Hey, Miku, why don't you sing it for me? I'd love to hear you sing again…"

The food traveling down my throat lodges in place and I choke out in surprise. "You want me to _**what**_?"

Eagerly, he replies, "Sing. I want you to sing for me. You have such a beautiful voice….please? Sing the song for me?"

Staring me down, he widens his eyes, allowing them to waver with emotion. It makes him look like a small begging animal, something that I've always found hard to resist. He knows this all too well.

"Well why don't you sing it? You're just as good as me."

"But I asked first. I want to hear you sing."

Fucking ridiculous. "Fine." Well you gave in easily. Shut up. "But not here. I don't want to attract any more attention than we usually do."

At that, his eyes shine even brighter with childlike joy, I really can't win against this guy. "That's not a problem at all! Why would I want to share you with everyone else anyways? I know just the place. We can go after you finish eating!"

"You do know I still have to go shopping, right?"

"Oh come on Miku! Pleeeeeaaaaassssseeee? Just for a little while? We can always go shopping later." Oh fuck it all, I seriously can't win with this guy. I might as well be going out with a child. Saints, I hate myself sometimes.

"…Ok. But only _that_ song and only for a little while, alright?"

Len's not even in his chair anymore. He's already cleared away my remains and he stands impatiently by my side, hand held out.

Shaking my head, I reach out and grab onto the waiting hand. I'm enjoying this way too much to say no.

* * *

With the ease of someone who's been living here for months, Len navigates us out of the marketplace and towards the southern end of the west blok. Together, we pass smaller market areas and various residential areas. It's a busy day and there's a shit-ton of people moving about. The streets are packed with shoppers, those on errands/deliveries and kids running about. Slapping away the hands of thieves and covering for Len when he does, it's an enjoyable enough walk. But soon enough, Len moves away from the crowds, leading us deep into the residential area and somewhere further still. Fifteen minutes later, we're climbing a steep as fuck hill. I know this is nothing I can't handle, but still, this isn't exactly easy.

Another five minutes later, we're at the top, slightly out of breath. There's a pure blue sky over us and for some reason, it's just amazing. Stretching out my arms and greeting the sun, the rays warm my face; it really is a beautiful day. It's so much nicer without all of those tarps in the way.

"You're looking in the wrong direction Miku."

"Jeez, calm down, why don't you?"

Rolling my eyes at him, I turn my head so that I am looking straight ahead of me. Impatient brat. But wow. Ok. I'll give him this. We're on a field of some sort. It's an open piece of land without a single tree in sight. But instead of green grass, all I can see is a huge expanse of white puffer flowers; there isn't another color in sight.

"I've – I've never seen so many in one place." Is this even natural? Maybe?

"Yeah." Len's voice has a nogalistic tone to it and for a moment, and his childish demeanor changes. "You know, me, my sister and my mother used to wish on these. We would go on walks together and every time my sister and I found one, we'd fight over who'd get to make the wish."

"Heh. I never had that problem. Since I'm an only child," Technicality. Shut up. "I've always had the wishing rights."

Len raises an eyebrow at me. "What, are you rubbing it in or something?"

Rocking back and forth on my heels, there's something childish in me too, "Mayyyybeeee…"

Frowning, lips in a perfect pout, it's hard to remember the seductive side of Len when he's like this. Standing here, on a hill overlooking white flowers, it's hard to separate reality from distortion. Nothing feels real anymore. I can't say I mind. Well maybe you should. Just let me follow your advice in peace, why don't you? I don't remember telling you to act like an idiot. You told me to be happy. This and that are not the same thing.

Breaking into a run, Len scampers down the hill, hair lifting in the wind, his feet a blur. Leaping out into the air, I lose him in the glare of the sunlight, what _am_ I doing?

Rolling against the grass, the white puffer flowers, thousands of flurries burst and kiss the air. In bunches, they waft about, dancing, flying and twirling with the air. It's…magical, almost. None of this is real.

And yet it is. Snapping up like a whip, Len's laughing, his whole body shaking, tears slipping from his eyes, there's something broken about him. Flurries nestled into his hair, his eyelashes, his eyebrows, his clothes, he really does look like some sort of small and fuzzy animal, vulnerable.

Falling back against the ground, I can hear the small little gasps, almost inaudible but not exactly. With slow whimsical movements, he waves his arms and legs back and forth, back and forth. From his actions, more flurries fly up into the air and with the wind they fan out, filling the air with their presence, hopeless wishes.

"Join me Miku!"

Standing on the edge of the hill, this sort of thing will never end well. How long will this even last? I'm scared. I'm getting lost in this delusion. What if I can't leave it?

"Miku. You should try this. From the here, the world looks white and beautiful. From here, it's easy to pretend that the world isn't as fucked-up as it actually is." He turns his head to the side. And even amidst the grass and bald flowers, his sapphire eyes shine and meet up with mine. "Hey Miku. Won't you make a wish with me?"

I wonder, when did I become so pathetic? Have I always been like this? It's hard to say. So what if I'm just a pawn or something lower? So what if I'm absolutely worthless? Well fuck you Sir. Fuck you all! I still have a choice, don't I? I might be on a suicide mission, but there's nothing wrong with taking a few detours along the way. If this is going to kill me, then I might as well enjoy it. I'll enjoy it until my very last fucking breath.

So before I can regret it, before I can think about it twice, I'm running, idiotically, sailing through the air. I'm free. There is only me and this endlessly blue sky filled with strange magic. Nothing can hurt me. I won't get hurt. Everything will be all right. If only just for now.

And when my body crashes into the ground, there is that smallest sense of loss. It's funny – how can you miss something that you never really had? It makes absolutely no sense at all. And yet, somehow, it does.

But as the sky fills with dancing flurries, I can't help but smile. How beautiful. From down here, surrounded by magic and wishes, the world really does look better than it actually is. What a weird game this is, this ugly yet beautiful world.

"…Hey Miku…Can I have my song now?"

Saints, this boy. What _has_ my life come to? Rolling on top of him, wiping away his tears in a field of pure white puffer flowers, just what am I doing? I'm enjoying this way too much for it to be ok. But it's happening anyways, isn't it?

Yeah, this is real.

Curled on Len's chest, my voice soars. The sound resounds through this field of wishes, traveling with the wind, the flurries. My hair splayed around us, Len's heartbeat under my head, his arms wrapped tightly around me, what did I do to deserve any of this?

 _So that I wouldn't forget these shapeless feelings,  
I erased the preset layout to make space for myself.  
Catching hold of the phrase I found myself humming,  
I attach the secret words of my heart and launch them into the sky._

 _The things I want to tell you,  
The things I want to send to you –  
Those many points become a line  
And echo far into the distance.  
The words I want to tell you,  
The sounds I want to send to you –  
Those countless lines become a loop,  
Connecting everything, no matter where you are_

I'm falling deeper into this distorted reality, aren't I? Whatever this is, what ever I'm feeling, I'm drowning in it, aren't I? How fun.

 _Just playing my tune, never doubting the days that never changed,  
I thought of the morning as something that someone would give to me.  
Believe in the sound for an instant or more, and it will shake your landscape to the core.  
Tell me about the world that belongs to you and no one else._

 _The things you want to tell us,  
The things you want to send to us –  
Those many points become a line  
And echo far into the distance.  
The words you want to tell us,  
The sounds you want to send to us –  
Those countless lines become a loop,  
Connecting everything, no matter where you are_

When our song ends, it's quiet for the longest time. Simply laying there in the field for who knows how long, Len and I soak in the sun, watching the puffer flowers sway and burst with each passing breeze.

And then Len's rolling over me and we're going further down the hill, screaming and laughing and there's no up or down or left or that other one, just us and these silly flowers and the blue sky and this is what it feels like to be stupidly happy. There's no room to feel guilty about any of this.

Lying at the bottom, chests heaving, giggling and snorting every now and then, Len holds me tight, as if he never wants to let me go. And I think...if given the choice, I'd stay. I'd regret it like everything else but still…I'd stay. Pressing a kiss against my lips, he reaches over and grabs a pair of intact puffer flowers, one for me, one for him.

"Make a wish with me?" Nodding, I take the flower meant for me and together we wish with the innocence that still left in our hearts, if there's anything left at all.

 _Let these ridiculous days last forever._

Making my wish, it's easy to see Len's lips purse and blow from here. His breath tickles my face and the flurries scatter between us. There is so much I want to do to him. Why am I bothering anyways? Because you know this is wrong. Laying a fingertip on his lips, running it over the surface, my other hand is wandering into his hair. His eyes lock in on mine and we're rolling again, this time he stays on top. I can't say I mind.

Hand caressing my cheek, a fingertip brushes my eyelashes. Close. He's so close. But he's not close enough. Tilting my head up, my lips meet his, melting in and becoming one. Breaths intermingled, it's so easy to share just like this. Lifting my legs and wrapping them around his waist, it's a shame he can't come closer, right through my chest, somewhere close to my heart. How else am I supposed to keep him safe from myself?


	8. Red Light, Green Light

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

 **7\. Red light, Green light**

* * *

This secret is becoming harder to keep, if it can even be called that. He probably knows by now. According to him, he knows _everything_ that happens in this republic. So why he's been questioning me almost every other night is beyond me.

"Miku….is there something yah not telling me?"

See! Again with this fucking question. How many times will I have to respond to the same fucking question practically every night? It's not as if my answer ever changes. Will this also become a normal part of my life? Saints, I hope not. Just what does he want anyways? Does he want me to admit it or something? Because if that's what he wants, then he's definitely not getting it any time soon. Let's try something new today. I'm getting bored of this repetition.

"Well Sir, you could say that there's plenty I'm not telling you." Like the fact I'm semi-secretly going out with someone. "But what would be the point of reporting every single part of my life to you?" That would just be creepy. "I know you have eyes throughout this entire city. I know that you know everything that goes on in my life. I know that it'd be pointless to hide anything from you." That's also really creepy to think about. "So shouldn't you already know that nothing has changed? What happened yesterday has happened today. What happened today will happen tomorrow. And that is how it will always continue on." Except not really.

Tilting my head to the side ever so slightly, I continue on. Maybe pride will make him give up. "Sir?...Is there something going on that makes you think otherwise?"

The air between us falls quiet. His steely gaze falls heavily on me, I hate this. I fucking hate this so much. Just let me go already.

"Tell me Miku….are yah happy?" Well fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckety fuck. I probably laid it on too thick.

"I'm sorry Sir. I don't think I understand your question…"

Sir's voice comes out light but his eyes hold a fierce gaze, as if he's waiting for me to fall into some sort of trap. "It's a simple question Miku. Are yah happy?"

Oh Saints, this is definitely a trap, I know it! What do I say? Yes? No? More or less? Saints, fuck this man. Just what is his fucking problem anyways? He already owns my life, my future, my past and anything else I could be, why can't he just leave this one thing be? I mean, I know why, but Saints, this just isn't fair. Well – not now!

"I suppose I am Sir."

Sir merely nods his head, as if he were expecting my answer. "Why?"

I hate you. I hate you so much, You can't win at everything you know...

"I'm alive, aren't I? I'm well fed, I have a job, I have nothing to complain about."

Eyebrows drawing, that's not the answer he wanted. With a light nod, he motions for me to continue. Well he can fuck it because that's all he'll be getting. My answer is done.

Playing stupid, I gaze back with innocent and naïve eyes. I may as well make my acting debut at this rate. His eyes narrow at my silence. Thinly veiled irritation drips from his voice. "That's it?"

"Well what else is there?"

A slight murmur comes out of his lips. "I see." Subdued, he proclaims, "Yah can leave now." And with that, he turns his back on me. I have returned to being an ignored entity.

There's this small part of me that's scared. What is he thinking? Why hasn't he called me out on my lies yet? Why bother questioning me like this?

The bigger part of me doesn't want to find out.

You could say there's something that bothers me about Len.

Sitting at some random table with my groceries guarded between my legs, it's almost interesting to see how Len's childish demeanor slips into something else around other people. Something older…something…seductive.

But like I said, almost.

Watching Len approach the produce stand across from me, I know why he chose that specific stand. It's currently being managed by a young woman, a tall beauty with flowing pink hair. Her skin looks pure and unblemished. Her dress accentuates her generous curves and long legs. I don't think any person could resist her if she tried.

I know what this is. This is a "bargain". To Len, this is nothing more than a skill needed to survive life. I know that. And to be honest, it used to amuse me. Cute and childish Len seducing women (and sometimes men) to get the things he wants. He makes it look so _easy_. A few words. A caress or two. A sly smile, an invasion of space. That's really all it takes to turn them into goo, to make them his perfect victims for the taking. In cases he can't physically steal, he'll make it so that he'll never pay for more than "necessary." It's all _so_ convenient.

And I fucking hate it. Ha! Jealousy's a fucking bitch, isn't it? Shut. Up.

I can hear her laughing from here. What a simple yet pretty sound. Len's hand is on her face. He's brushing some hair from her eye. A classic trick. His lips are practically on hers, they're just a hair's breath away, it's not enough distance. Seductively, sinfully, Len points to something beyond the beauty and she simply reaches over and places it gently in Len's hands. Her fingers linger. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds fucking too long.

With a small wave goodbye and a wink, Len heads back my way. One step closer. Two steps closer. Three. Four. There's a part of me that wants to kick him in the balls.

"Here's your lettuce Miku. What's next on the list?"

Taking the lettuce from him, I have this urge to just toss it into the crowd. But no, that would be stupid. Neither of us have the money to be wasting food like that. But I still hate the way he works. I don't care if that's how he gets by in life. I still hate it.

But you know what? Fine. Fine! Two can play at this game. I'll just have to remind him who he belongs to for the time being. I'll have him wrapped around my littlest finger. I'll make sure of it. After all, he's not the only one here that can play with hearts.

Wedging my groceries underneath my chair, my hand grabs Len's, pulling his entire body closer to my height. Staring at me confused, Len's eyebrows scrunch up with surprise. From across the pathway, the woman with pink hair stares at us with a mix of fascination and embarrassment. Perfect.

I _know_ the smile on my face looks simply wicked. But I can't help myself. Enough is fucking enough. Pressing lightly onto my toes, because even like this Len is way too fucking tall, the pads of my fingers slide up his face. Holding his eyes captive with mine, a pinky lingers on the corner of his lips. A thumb grazes an ear; an index finger brushes an eyelash.

You will belong only to me.

There are so many eyes on us. This should be so frightening but I'm too aggravated to care right now. My lips hover over his, there's just the thinnest sliver of air existing between us. I can tell, he wants to devour me. But I'm the one in control here. He needs to suffer. After all, this is punishment.

And just as his control snaps, his lips are between my teeth, they're bright red and he's hissing with pain. Pulling back, it gives me room to ball my hand into a fist and rub roughly, scrubbing off all of the intrusive germs, any mark of _her_. When did I get so petty?

"Miku! Stop that!"

"Why should I Pretty Boy? Last time I checked, you only belong to me. Didn't you know? I hate sharing." When did I get so possessive?

A chuckle passes through the crowd. Thoughts churning in his head, Len doesn't have time to resist another kiss from me. My hands are crawling through his hair, twisting and twirling through the long strands. His hair isn't as soft as before. It's a tad bit rougher and the locks don't slip and run past my fingers like they used to. I like it better this way.

But never mind, closer…you need to come closer…everyone should know who you belong to. His breath hitches, making it easy to slip in my tongue, to devour him whole, I'll leave nothing for anyone else. After all, I've been taught by the best. So don't shower your affections on anyone else but me. Work if you have to but not in front of me. Don't leave me.

Across from us, the pretty woman with bright hair is bright pink. Sorry, not sorry. I'm not done yet. There's only this right now. I have to make my point, you're not allowed to forget this Len.

Untangling my hands from his hair, lips settling by the flesh of his neck, a shiver runs through him. His breaths run shallow. And I can't help it; smiling against his neck, and there go my teeth. Not hard enough to bleed but enough to bruise. A hiss pushes through his lips and the rush of air tickles my neck. He doesn't push me off. He likes it. Surprise, surprise. I'm sorry.

"Pretty Boy Len… Did you know? I'm the jealous type. I don't care if you have to seduce the entire world to make a living. What you do when you're not with me is none of my concern. But when you _**are**_ with me, you will look at me and me alone. Yeah?"

And I'm done. Finally got that out of my system. At least for now. Fingers ghosting over my newly given mark, the deep set of teeth marks on his skin, Len gapes at me, kind of looking like a fish. A cute one, that is. "Um…wow. I'm sorry?"

"It's a start." Saints, what am I doing?

And just like that, he's laughing, the self content oozing from his body. I'm stuck between getting angry and laughing along with him. Why are you laughing? Push me away. "Saints, I knew I made the right choice in going after you. Possessive you is fun Miku, did you know?"

Fucking ridiculous. Not that I have room to speak. Grabbing his hand and my groceries, I move us along; we need to get out of here. I shouldn't be doing this. "Let's go. I'm getting tired of all these people staring at us."

A chuckle resounds behind me. "Well that's your fault."

"No, it isn't. If _**someone**_ wasn't seducing the entire general population in my presence, we wouldn't be having this problem, now would we?"

Using those gorgeously long legs of his, he quickly catches up and settles by my side, casually matching my brisk pace. Winking at me, he says, "Come on. We both know you wouldn't have me any other way."

"Idiot."

"Your idiot." And that's all too true.

Sitting within the branches of our Sky Tree, the sun filters through the blossoms, showering us in every color of the rainbow. Sitting between Len's legs, his arms hanging loosely around my waist, we share a small bag of cookies decorated with red hearts. They're such weird looking cookies, pink colored, shaped to look like stars. But they're good. Better than normal.

"Hey Len…I really liked those cookies. Get me some again for next time?"

Chuckling lightly, his hand lifts, brushing some of the crumbs surrounding my lips, swiping a piece ever so often and slipping it into his mouth.

"What?"

Twisting my body to face him, there's this weird smile on his face. "It's nothing…it's just that….this is the first time you've ever made a request…."

"Huh, I guess it is. Well what can I say? Dating a thief was bound to mess up my remaining morals some time."

He looks at me with a raised eyebrow. "So you're blaming me?"

"Yes. Yes I am."

Ruffling my hair, he says, "Fine. I can live that. Now move forward a bit. I want to give you a present."

"Present?"

Scooting forward, my hands wrap around the tree branch under me, the bark rough against my skin. Relaxing my shoulders, my legs swing on either side of me, the world looks so small from here.

"Yeah…I'm gonna change up this hairstyle of yours so stay still, alright?"

"What, you don't like my hairstyle?"

"No. I never said that. It's just fun to change it up ever so often, don't you think?"

I don't have an answer to that. Rather than answering, it's easier to pick out all the couples below. Behind me, Len rolls my hair ties one by one. As the petals kiss the air, Len runs his hands through my hair, tugging lightly on the knots he meets on the way down causing my skin to tingle at the slight pain. His hands move with confidently within my hair, twisting clumps this way and that.

"Hey Miku."

"What?"

"Did you know that you still have flurries mixed into your hair?"

"Yeah…I know. I never knew flurries were so fucking resilient! Every night for the past few weeks I've been _meticulously_ washing and combing my hair, trying to get them all out. And yet a good thousand still manage to cling on. It's starting to get a bit annoying actually."

"Aw, don't say that. You actually look really cute like this, like a faerie or somethin'. But if it really bothers you that much, why don't you cut your hair a bit? I'm sure it'd make maintenance much easier…."

"Fuck no." As if I'd sever the last connection I have to Gakupo.

"Yeah….I'd thought you'd say that. Don't worry. I don't want you cutting this beautiful long hair of yours either….Hey Miku."

"Yes Len?"

"Is it possible to save you?" So we're doing this now, huh?

But still, what kind of weird question is that: 'Is it possible to save you?' It sounds like something one of those knights in shining armor would say, the kind in those romance novels from Ewhijan. I didn't think they existed in real life. Of course I'd find the guy with the characteristics of a fictional character.

"Yeah…About that…It's too late for me to be saved Len….You'd have better luck with someone else." There'd be no point in trying.

"Hey Miku?"

"Yes Len?"

" …Am I a threat to you?" He's really pulling out all the stops today.

A sigh mixes in with the breeze. "You are. But you already knew that."

His voice struggles to stay neutral. "Are you scared of me?"

"No."

"Then…"

"I'm scared of myself. I'm scared of all the things I could do to you without ever meaning to."

Below us, everyone looks so fucking…happy. Sometimes…I wish I could be that idiotically happy all the time. You know that's impossible. I know. So why are you – Shut up. Just…shut up.

"Miku – "

"Len. There are things you're better off not knowing. But for now, just stay by my side, just like this, ok?" Stay by my side until you can't any longer.

A silence falls as Len takes in my words, struggling to understand the meaning hidden in them. In my hair, his fingers falter, I'm sorry I can't give you better.

"Hey Miku? Do me a favor? Close your eyes for a sec?"

Behind a wall, a couple makes out. Pressed tight against each other, fingers clawing against their skin, their clothes, it must be nice, to be so fearlessly in love.

"You're sure asking a lot of questions today."

"Sorry. That'll be the last one for…now. But please?"

Might as well at this point. Eyelids falling shut, light bleeds through and I can't help but feel the slightest bit defensive. A chaste kiss presses onto my lips and I hate this already.

"Yeah…none of this closed eye stuff. So here is what's going to happen, Len. I'm gonna open my eyes now whether you want me to or not."

Desperately, he calls out, "Wait!"

"You have 5 seconds.

5"

At my countdown, Len desperately fumbles through his bag, the material scratching against the bark of the tree.

"4"

It seems that he still can't find it – wait no. He did.

"3"

A weird clack noise resounds in the air.

"2"

His hands reach and grab my left hand, holding it delicately.

"1"

A sensation of cold and metallic invades my finger.

Fluttering my eyes open, the light hurts. It takes a moment for my sight to refocus and when it does, it settles heavily on my left hand, my third finger from the thumb. Resting there is a braided silver ring, shaded violet from the Sky Tree and the sun...

Grinning like a fool, Len exclaims, "Happy Lovers Day Miku!"

Wait..."Lovers Day?" This would explain so much.

Still grinning, he says "Yeah….This is my Lovers Day present to you…." A mischievous glint shines in his eyes. "Not only that but this doubles as my proof."

"Proof?"

"Yeah, proof." Holding up his left hand, an identical silver ring shines back at me. "These rings can be the physical proof that I am bound to you and you are bound to me. It's a bit more sensible than leaving hickies, don't you think? Oh, and that reminds me, I never did show you what I did with your hair. It's a waterfall braid, in case you're wondering. I used to do these on my sister but I have to admit, it looks a lot better on you since your hair is much longer."

As he talks, he pulls out a pair of ornate mirrors out of his bag, placing one in my hands and positioning one behind me. In the mirrors, my teal hair reflects back. Unbound by my hair ties, it flows unrestrained in the wind. Along the back of my head, a braid wraps around in a way that I can't comprehend.

From behind me, Len says, "You know, I also wanted to bring you out to a nice restaurant like most couples do on this day but I couldn't afford it with what I had saved up. And unfortunately, dinin' and dashin' isn't in my area of expertise. Sorry about that…."

 _Lovers Day_ ….a day where lovers celebrate their love for one another. Is that really today? And did we really just go from "Is it possible to save you?" to celebrating Lovers Day? Seriously?

Uncontrollable laughter bubbles through me, bursting through my lips and echoing through the silent air. Saints! How the fuck am I supposed to feel guilty about dating this boy when he does shit like this? Or no. Maybe this is the exact reason why I should feel guilty. He's too fucking good to be true!

But I don't want to him let go either. Saints, we're so fucked over. We are really, truly, fucked over. Help us both, we're going to die a miserable death.

Turning around, my eyes meet Len's. Stray tears from my laughter slip down my cheeks. Smiling like an idiot, it takes everything in me to not actually burst into tears. I'm so sorry. "No…this is absolutely perfect….Happy Lovers Day Len!"

I'm so, so sorry.

"I…I love you Len."

I can't let you go.

His eyes widen for a second and soon enough, he's smiling against my lips, saying 'I love you too.'

We'll last until death do us part. It shouldn't take long.


	9. Puzzle Pieces

Hey guys! Sorry for the lost week. It's kinda funny actually. I went out of the country and I had wifi but then I go to a conference in another state and I get no service at all. It was unexpected to say at the least. It's just barely Friday right now too..jeez I need to get my life together.

Well, anyways, thanks to everyone that has supported me over the weeks, it's made me super happy ^^ Here's the next installment!

Love,

Sunset

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

 **8\. Puzzle Pieces**

* * *

Peering off the rooftop, blood pools, slopping heavily into the ground. Gleaming, deep red, like the fiercest of rubies, I wonder how it would – stop that…ok. The target, a man, middle 40s, stares up into the sky, eyes wide and unseeing. The blood pours from his head, spilling, splattering, devoured by the ground. His cufflinks shine against the moonlight, we need to get going. Stop staring and – in his hand, he clutches flowers, roses, red, the color of passion, the color of love…the color of blood. We're going to get caught at this rate! Stems crushed in his fist, unrelenting even in death, who do you think he was going to give those to? It doesn't matter! You know better than this! Do you think he was fearlessly in love too? Red like roses? Red like blood? Who do you think is waiting for him to come home? Miku! Saints fucking dammit! Blue eyes staring up into the sky, blonde hair stained red – you are a professional! Do you think…Len could have grown old to look like that? You know what you are. On his left hand, third finger from the thumb, a golden ring shines, you are an assassin, promises are so easily broken, aren't they, there's no point in freaking out about it now. It's too late to change what we've done. Now let's go.

…ok.

Disappearing into the night, it gets harder, not looking back.

* * *

"Miku."

Saints, please, don't let him hold me back again. I can't do this today. I just want to go home and sleep. Please just let me go home and sleep.

"Yes Sir?"

Staring fiercely into my eyes, he asks, "What's that on your finger?"

Wait...what...? Oh fuck. Oh fuck, no. I completely forgot. "My finger...Sir, what about it?"

Narrowing his eyes, he answers with an exasperated voice. "Your finger Miku. Why is there a ring on your finger?"

Looking down at my hands, I take my time finding the accused finger. Fuck I'm so stupid. There on my left hand, on my third finger from the thumb, lies a beautiful braided silver ring. Weighing down my hand so perfectly, I can't believe I forgot to take it off.

"Oh...that. I forgot I was even wearing it. It's something of my mother's. I found it the other day."

Huffing, Sir answers "

* * *

I think I'm unraveling.

* * *

"-ku. Miku. Hey! Miku!"

"Hmmm...?" Blinking slowly, my sight refocuses into something recognizable. Through a haze, a boy with golden hair peers at me. That's weird...what did Sir say again? A cool hand slides under my bangs, resting on my forehead. I can't remember.

"You're not sick, are you? Do you want to go home early? I can finish grocery shopping for you if you want."

My fingers are tingling. "No. I'm fine. I was just thinking about...this song I heard on the streets earlier….I think it was from….Roinad ….maybe? It was so pretty." Something feels off.

Frowning skeptically, Len's not convinced. I really can't blame him. Holding me in place with his other hand, he moves forward, ultimately resting his forehead on mine.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm checking your temperature." His breath brushes my cheeks, there's not enough air.

"I don't _need_ my temperature checked. I'm _fine_."

"Yeah…well, I don't believe you…."

Pressing a kiss onto his lips, I murmur, "I said I'm _fine_. Now stop trying to look for things that aren't there…." I don't think I can deal with this right now.

But once again, Len's being stupidly persistent. Meeting my gaze head on, the seconds slowly tick by against the dull roar of the crowd. But it's his loss and we know it. There is nothing to back his words and so, because I am not _not_ fine, I must be nothing else than fine. If only. But still, are all guys allowed to be this adorable? I'll get cavities at this rate.

"Hey Miku...your ring?"

Hmmm...For some reason, this conversation sounds oddly familiar. With Sir maybe? "What about it?" Yeah, I think so.

"It's not on your hand, is it?"

…Huh. So it's not. Is that why, no that'd be weird. But where did I…Oh yeah.

"No, it's not."

Betrayal and hurt flashes in those sapphire eyes. Burning and _alive_ , his reaction is so different from Sir's …Pulling me to the side, Len grabs my face with both hands, forcing me to look into his eyes, how pretty. He's overreacting. But even so, even with his eyes blazing fiercely into mine, it's hard to feel anything right now. I wonder why. "Is something the matter Len?"

"You're not wearing your ring."

"But I am." Slipping my hand into the front of my dress, my ring hangs from single chain. Watching it spin around idly, Len visibly sighs in relief. The look in his eyes softens but there's something else now. His lips open and close but nothing comes out.

Instead, he reaches a hand out, sliding it along the curve of my face. Tracing the edge of my lips, the corner of my eyes, he murmurs, "I'm sorry Miku…Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah." The answer doesn't necessarily feel right.

Dropping his hand, my wrist is suddenly captive, held between his fingertips. Lifting it up to his face, his teeth are latched on before I can fully figure out what's going on. It's a bite that's not hard enough to bleed but enough to bruise. The sudden and unexpected pressure elicits a startled yelp from my lips. But even so, the usual excitement in my chest isn't there. "Look. We match now…."

And so, we do. Slipping his hand out from under mine, he lifts my wrist and places it against his neck right under where I marked him a day before. "Pervert."

But even then, I know my words lack their usual bite. I know Len senses it too. Frown on his face, his other hand just flutters for a bit, as if it doesn't know what to do. And then I'm against his chest, his arms wrapped around me. Hands rubbing my back, it's scary, feeling this broken.

"Hey Miku?"

Sitting at the edge of the central fountain, it really is another beautiful day out. Fiddling with an ebony comb, I wonder why I can't remember the rest of what Sir said last night. Was it important? Probably not. I hate this.

"What is it Len?"

Standing in front of me, Len looks ridiculously tall. A ray of sunlight peeks through the tarps above him and with it, his golden hair sparkles and shines. It kinda looks like a halo from here. How funny would it be if my hair could sparkle like that? A halo on an assassin, now that's funny stuff.

Looking down, Len asks, "How much longer do you think we have?"

Fuck. Again with the questions? You couldn't end it yesterday? Fuck you Len. "Who knows?"

Looking up, the ray of sun splits his face. He's doing that thing where he looks anywhere but me. "Come Miku. Please? I just want to know what you think…."

Please stop this. "Why?"

"…Because…I'm scared. I'm scared this will all end really soon and I'm not ready for that just yet. Because you're acting really weird today and you said all those things yesterday and I wonder if it's because you know something I don't."

 _Blonde hair stained red_ , fuck you Len. This is what happens when you connect dots that don't need to be connected. "What do you want me to say Len? That just because I happen to be in a shitty mood, I know the exact date our little reality delusion will end? That it's fucking marked on my calendar so get ready because it's coming up one week from now, in a month, a year? I don't know any fucking more than you."

Pacing in front of me, hands in his hair, there's this desperate look on his face. What _did_ Sir say? I don't want to deal with this. "Gah…Just…Miku, what are we going to do when it all ends?"

 _Unrelenting even in death_ , "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Saints Len. Please don't do this. Please don't act like you didn't know that this is how it would end all along.

"…Yeah." _Eyes wide and unseeing_.

"Seriously?" Moving faster, clearly losing control, I didn't need this today.

After all, there's no point in freaking out about it now. "Look Len, I warned you. I warned you from the very beginning. Whatever this is, whatever the fuck it is we're doing, it should have never happened. You were stupid, I was stupid and now there's no taking it back. It's only a matter of time before my circumstances kill you. Point being, this was never, ever going to end well."

"Even if we fight?" The sunlight splits across his hand.

"Do you have any idea what we're up against?" It slides against his stomach.

"If we leave?" Slashing his leg.

"They'd find us." One day, that won't be sunlight, will it?

"You've already given up, haven't you?" And now he's looking at me. _Now_ he's fucking looking at me, sunlight resting between his eyes. As if this was my fault. As if he was _disappointed_ in me.

"Len, I've never had that hope to begin with. Just because I tried to ignore it doesn't mean I've forgotten."

Standing in front of me, there's so much _hope_ in his eyes. "Then find it with me."

"Len, it's not that easy."

Frustration. "And why not?"

"Because it isn't."

Exasperation. "That's not a reason, it's an excuse!"

"I don't get it Len. What do you want from me?"

Desperation. Fingers clawing into his hair, "I want you to fight for what we have."

"What for? What would be the fucking point?"

He just doesn't _get_ it. "For the chance that we win."

"Do you really believe that Len? Do you really think that this is a game with a winner? Because if that's the case, then you're more delusional than me."

And I don't think he ever will. "I'm going home."

"And what will you do there?" I'm sorry I can't give you better.

"Cool off. There's no point in fighting with you like this."

But you know Len, sometimes, I just wish…

"And what about tomorrow? Will you pretend that this happened? Will you just go back to pretending that one day we'll live happily ever after? What are you trying to achieve Len?"

That you weren't you and that I wasn't me.

"I DON'T KNOW! I don't know, ok?"

Sometimes, I just wish…

"I just hate this. I just hate meeting with you and knowing that one day, this will all be taken from me and there'll be nothing I can do about it."

That we could be people capable of falling fearlessly in love.

"I just hate the fact that there's nothing I can do to help you."

And when someone kills you in the middle of the night,

"And I hate the fact that this world is so fucked up and just how the fuck is anyone supposed to be happy like this?"

I think, it's be nice, knowing,

"I don't get it Miku. I just want you to be happy."

that I wasn't the reason for your death.

"Why is that so hard?" I really am so sorry Len.

"I'm…I'm just going home today, ok? I know you're in a bad mood too and I think the both of us just need space. So…see you tomorrow, ok?"

Stepping forward, he kisses my forehead and walks away. Maybe we really are running out of time.

I don't know why this is bothering you now. You knew this would happen. I know. And yet you still went ahead and started a relationship with him. I know! Saints! I fucking know that! I…I just couldn't help it! He… made me feel so _normal_. That feeling of being desired, that possibility of being happy, of being loved, it was so hard to resist. And get off your fucking high horse! You were the one that said to make the choice that I'd regret the least, the one that'd make me happiest!

But I didn't tell you to do all of...of… _this_! _What?_ You...we…don't you get it? Get what? We were never supposed to fall in love! Saintsdammit! We were never supposed to fall in fucking love! I...I couldn't…I know. I know.

So now what? Saints, I don't know. I don't know what to do anymore. What do we do? Wait for Len to die? That's so morbid. Honey, our entire existence is morbid. Right.

Well what do you think? …Do Len and I even have a chance? Or do you think one of us will just die and the other will continue being miserable? What makes you think _I_ know? _I'm_ you dammit! Is that really what this is? Well what else did you think this was? I don't know! Saints, fuck, I don't know. You were just there all the time, FUCK! I'm scared. I know. Me too. My head hurts. You're thinking too hard. But what more can I , we do? I…I don't know. I just don't know.

You know…what? Maybe we should just get going? Wha? Our groceries aren't going to buy themselves. But…! We can…try to figure this out later.

Ok.

* * *

-ku! Miku! Wake up! We have to go!

"Oh good. You're getting up."

Saints, this is so bad. Gah! Saints! Fuck! Of course this sort of thing had to go down today. What? Miku! You need to get out of here. Now! But where's here?

"Hmmm...?" Blinking slowly, my sight refocuses into something recognizable. Through a haze, a man with chestnut colored hair peers at me. That's weird...didn't this happen before? A cool hand slides under my bangs, resting on my forehead. I can't remember. Something feels off.

 _"Hey Gakupo! Look!"_

"Miss Miku? Are you ok? Are you feeling better now?"

" _Why is the world still moving?_ _It's so loud, my ears hurt, where's – "_

Where am I? Who is this?

"Would you like a glass of water?"

" _How pretty. I wonder how it would look, Saints, please, not now."_

"Yeah…"

Miku! We don't have time for this. But the bed creaks and the footsteps fade, replaced by a running faucet, how did we get here? Miku!

 _We need to go. Do you think it's for us? No idea. But let's not take any chances._

 _Looking down at me, Gakupo asks, "What is it little one?"_

You can remember later! But please, we have to go, okay?

 _You're bending in all the wrong ways._

 _"The eggplants are on sale today!"_

No! It has to be now. I won't remember later. It might be important. Miku! This really isn't the time!

 _Slipping into the middle of the crowd, the presence lingers. As if something was watching the crowd, searching it._

 _You're a professional, right? Everything's going to be fine, right?_

 _One of Sir's lackies? Nah. Would have felt it by now. This is something new entirely. Wait! Fuck. It's_ _ **him.**_

 _But everyone's screaming…I'm going to die, aren't I?_

Stepping back into the room, an unlit cigarette hangs from the stranger's lips. Glasses glinting off the artificial light, he gently places a cup of water between my fingertips. Hands resting briefly over mine, his eyes look so concerned, it can't be.

 _I can't wait! I love Gakupo's face when he eats the food I make him, especially when he's eating his favorite eggplant. How should I prepare them today?_

" _Miss, do you know where you are?"_

 _Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckety fuck. You are so screwed. Come on, let's go._

 _Is it soft like feathers? Or maybe it's squishy like marshmallows._

 _Should I fry them? Bake them? Grill them? Roast them? Put them in a soup? Mix them in a salad? Oh! I just can't wait! "Gakupo, come on! Let's go! Let's go!"_

" _Yah don't deserve to cry."_

 _Do you think he's looking for us? Who else would he be looking for? Good point._

"You're… Kiyoteru Hiyama, aren't you?"

" _Can you do something for me?"_

"…I am."

 _Slipping into an alleyway with many branches, the shadows elongate against the setting sun._

 _Wait…What's that? Isn't that one of those things the rich people own? Those weird looking machines in the magazines?_

 _Navigating through the familiar twist of alleys and backways, away from those piercing eyes, everything will be ok._

 _What's it doing here? Did someone steal it or something?_

 _So what if I'm crazy? I can deal with that._

"…What am I doing here?"

 _What's it called again?_

" _Yah don't deserve to live."_

 _There's nothing in the rules against talking to yourself. It's fine. The sky is this fiery red color and it's pretty._

"You fainted."

 _It'll consume you whole, won't it? Ask it to eat me too?_

 _I've always wanted to see one up close!_

" _Tell me Miku. How did Gakupo die again? Do yah think yah could remind me?"_

Saints, no. Miku. We really don't have the time for this. Please? Let's go?

"Do you remember what happened?"

 _It's not stopping._

 _I'm far away enough from the marketplace, I should be fine. I'll just take my groceries home from here. It's nothing I can't handle._

 _Am I dead yet? Ow. No. Still alive._

"I…."

" _Gakupo, where are you?"_

 _There'll be nothing left for anyone else._

 _All I have to do is reach out a hand and I'll be touching it._

 _He was right behind me…wasn't he…?_

"I…"

 _This man smells like smoke. "Please kill me."_

 _I'll be good. I'll be a professional. Just don't leave me behind._

"I need to go."

Tumbling onto the floor, water spilling, the glass crashes, tiny little shards, glittering little pieces.

"Miss Miku!"

" _Miku."_

"Where are you going? "

" _I'm going to tell you my biggest secret now."_

"You need to rest some more."

" _I love you."_

"You'll be safe here."

 _I guess, in the end, not even you could stick around, huh Gakupo?_

" _Yah can leave now."_

"There's nothing to be scared of. Everything will be all right."

I think I'm going to puke.

Hands on my shoulders, everything crumbles, glittering little pieces, blinking out of sight.


	10. Mafia

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

 **9\. Mafia**

* * *

This isn't my ceiling. No it's not. It looks slightly newer. And the water stains are in the wrong places. Seriously? That's what you're worried about? Where are we? Kiyoteru Hiyama's place. Wait! What? Do you mean…? _Yes. The_ Kiyoteru Hiyama, as in this is the last fucking place we should be! Then why are we here?! _We_ are here because _someone_ fucking fainted. Twice! Saints! No one listens to me these days! Shut up why don't you? Fuck, we don't have time for this. We need to go before something else goes to shit.

…He knows. _What?_ Sir! He knows! Well of course he fucking knows! He's known this entire time! No! I mean, he know, _knows_. Why else would he ask about Gakupo? Because he's a shit and he wants you to break. That's what fucks like him do. Think about it, if he actually knew, he probably would have ordered Len dead. But doesn't he already – I don't fucking know! Saints, I don't fucking _know_. Look! We can talk about this later. But right now, we need to get out of this fucking apartment. Saints, someone please end this hellish day already, _please_.

Staring at this unknown ceiling, just when did everything fly out of control? I don't like this. I _hate_ this. I can't keep up anymore. Well you know, that's what happens when you fucking fall in love. The delusion takes over and the next thing you know, you're covered in blood. Now get up. You're not doing anyone a favor by being here. Ok.

Sitting up, the bed creaks, a deep groan. Cold hardwood floors meet the undersides of my feet; it takes a moment to find my shoes, tucked by the foot of the bed. The world wobbles a little, trembling, as if in fear. I hate this too. Dragging my fingertips across the wall, the electricity hums, the family next door is having dinner. Grabbing my cloak from the back of a chair, my glasses on the table nearby, something crashes against the ceiling, once, twice, three times before going silent.

Finding the front door easily enough, it's almost too easy. The floor creaks, and there he is, Kiyoteru Hiyama, the best detective New Ethatrias has to offer. Bent over a desk, his fingers twitch and he looks up at me, the light of the lamp reflecting off his glasses. I can remember it vaguely, the concern in his eyes (the color of chestnuts), the weight of his hands, glittering little pieces bursting at my feet. I've always known that the world would end with him.

Staring at me critically, those eyes glance over me. But it's nothing like Sir, hard and intrusive, unsettling and somewhat perverse. It's so much less and so much more, I don't know how to identify it – just fucking GO! Don't you have _any_ self-preservation left?

"Are you leaving now?" Leaning back against his chair, the smoke from his cigarette curls, there must be a window open nearby. Miku!

"Yeah…Thank you for your…hospitality…" Seriously? Hey, maybe he won't be suspicious of us this way.

Tapping his pen against the desk, there's a serious look on his face. Nodding his head once, Kiyoteru Hiyama stubs out his cigarette in the ash tray closest to his left hand, the filter joining five others. "You know, I'll be working all night anyways. It'd be ok if you rested some more."

Say no. This doesn't make sense. It doesn't need to. "Why are you being so nice to me?" He's supposed to be merciless.

Shrugging nonchalantly, Kiyoteru Hiyama smiles and says, "Easy. Because I want to. Because you fainted in front of my car and I wasn't so heartless to just leave you there." He's not supposed to be this friendly. So. WHAT?!

"…For being the best detective New Ethatrias has to offer, you're really stupid." Really? "You could have picked up a criminal for all you know." What the fuck happened to not making him suspicious of us? I changed my mind. Idiot!

Smile vanishing, like a magic act, he already knows, doesn't he? "Well are you a criminal?" I don't understand.

"Who knows?" I'm honestly getting tired of playing these games. Then stop, why don't you? You know I can't.

Dropping his pen, Kiyoteru Hiyama sighs. His hands push against his eyes, lifting his glasses. He looks so tired, "Do you _want_ me to arrest you? Is that it?"

Yes. No. "I…I don't know." What are you even trying to achieve? I…I don't know anymore.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

Staring at me, with dark circles under his eyes, Kiyoteru Hiyama asks, "Why are you so desperate to kill yourself?"

"I….I…"

Falling back against the wall, the world shakes and trembles, as if breaking apart, as if shattering into impossibly small pieces and maybe it is. Maybe it is. Would everything be better then? I don't know. Ha. Neither do I. The floor is cold. Dress pooling around me, a grey little puddle, Kiyoteru Hiyama _stares_ , so much more, so much less, I wonder what I look like, what _we_ look like, sitting here, being here, there is no going back, is there?

The hysteria rises. Building in my stomach, slamming against my ribcage, bursting from my lips, there's no going back. It's breaking and shattering and how am I even supposed to pick up the pieces now? Why? Why _**him**_? Why him out of all fucking people? Why is he even in this fucking republic anyways?

Crying, sobbing, gaping gasps, the floor is cold, I can't do this. I really, really, can't do this. Saints, someone help me, _please._ It's getting hard to breathe.Fuck you sir. Fuck Kiyoteru Hiyama. Fuck you all! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to kill you. I would have died a thousand times over if it meant you got to live. Someone help me. I don't know what to do.

"Do you know what it feels like, Kiyoteru Hiyama, to have it all bubbling under your skin, just waiting to burst, to expand, to explode? Every day? All the time?

Do you know what that feels like? It thrums and burns and it would all be so easy to just _give_ in, to fall into it, to let it consume me whole. I wouldn't have to play this saintsawful game, because I hate them, you know? The kind of games where nothing would change even if I tried. I wouldn't have to _care_. I could just _be_ and it would all be _so_ easy!"

Grey dress pooling around me, a grey little puddle, drowning, drowning, I can't do this anymore. Gakupo's dead. Len's mad at me. And Kiyoteru Hiyama simply _stares_ , glasses slipping down his face, so much more, so much less, none of this is making sense, this isn't how it was supposed to go. I hate this game.

"Then why don't you?"

Smoking fading, it's so cold, the light bends at his eyes, who are you supposed to be anyways?

"Why don't I what?"

So much less, so much more, "Why _don't_ you just give in then?"

Why don't I? It would be so easy. Nothing would hurt anymore. But…

"It's so…heavy."

"What is?"

Please stop talking. "…the guilt… it's so heavy. I killed him you know. I was supposed to die but he did instead. I killed him. So I have to make up for it. I have to live and live and live until all his debts are paid, until I finish the things he couldn't. Did you know Kiyoteru Hiyama? I deserve to burn up in hell. But until then, I have to keep living my life, just like this until my debt is paid. I am a professional. There is never a day where I don't feel guilty about it.

But I don't know what to do anymore. He wants me to fight. But I can't fight. I can't, I have to pay it all back, every last cent. I'm not allowed to be forgiven. I don't deserve to live. I was never supposed to be happy. Do you understand that, Kiyoteru Hiyama? Do you understand what it means to be tainted beyond repair? Because I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm tired Kiyoteru Hiyama. I don't _want_ to be the reason he dies. Why can't you just kill me already?"

Staring at me, so much more, so much less, Kiyoteru Hiyama's mouth opens and closes, there aren't any words. It was stupid, to tell him all of this. To think that he could…I don't even know. I don't know anymore. I don't want to think anymore. I'm tired. Can I go back to sleep now? I don't even care anymore. Do whatever the fuck you want.

Standing up, the chair screeches against the floor and Kiyoteru Hiyama walks away, apparently we're too much to even bother arresting. The electricity hums and somewhere a child wails, _"I'd hang the stars and moons for you,"_ even at the expense of myself. I just want you to live.

"Come on. Sit up." Tugging on my arms, up, off the floor, the world tilts again, it simply refuses to stay still these days. Placing a glass into my hands, "Drink" and it's cold. Wiping a wet paper towel across my face, treating me like glass, his hands warm on my skin, "Are you really Kiyoteru Hiyama?" And at that, a chuckle escapes his lips, his eyes bright and says, "Yes, I am" before disappearing down the hall again.

Staring at this unknown ceiling, the world is changing, isn't it? It's changing and changing and how is anyone supposed to make sense of anything this way? Outside of the window, someone sings. It fits all too well.

* * *

 _Every time I dream, I can hear your voice_

 _reaching out to me as I keep drowning_

 _In this heart, an empty canvas_

 _I will blacken it with tears_

 _again..._

 _Illusions that seem to never end_

 _Falling through like an hourglass_

 _Shrouded by all these mysteries_

 _Warmth that feels so familiar_

 _Heartless words that escape my lips_

 _Laughter threatens to eat my soul_

 _Fearing taking a step ahead_

 _What awaits me no is a future of gray_

 _Praying to see an answer_

 _Amongst these broken lies_

 _If my words were to reach you_

 _what would you say?_

* * *

Standing before me once again, wearing shoes, no tie, the top few buttons of his shirt loosened, Kiyoteru Hiyama offers his hand to me, an eyebrow raised. "Let's go."

Staring at the offered hand, it's almost frightening, "I was never supposed to meet you."

Shrugging, Kiyoteru Hiyama simply says, "I know."

Staring at his hand, the world keeps changing and changing, spiraling out of control. And impulsively, without a thought, my hand latches on to his. In reverse to what happened so many months ago, I am pulled up, off the ground. However, this time, my hand is immediately let go, the world doesn't rush by. Once again, everything is changing, how horribly will things end now?

Heading over to the door, lighting up another cigarette, Kiyoteru Hiyama looks back, waiting for me to follow and numbly I do. There's absolutely no way I could make things any worse. Breathing in his smoke, Kiyoteru Hiyama locks the door, "Are you hungry? Should we get food?"

Above, the stars glisten and it's hard, not to think of Len, of everything I'll lose, "…Why are you doing this?"

Looking up into the sky, surrounded in a fog of smoke, the corner of his lips lift, the hint of a smile. Looking at me, an impish look in his eyes, "I need a work break and you clearly need a life break."

And it's so hard not to laugh, to not break a little more, I'm so scared, there's no going back.

* * *

 _Scattering the light broken in pieces_

 _Shattering the darkness from within_

 _I can hear a voice as it grows distant_

 _pulling me back into life..._

 _If I were to lose all that surrounds me_

 _If I were to find only a void_

 _I would give up all my senses_

 _Just to fall into your arms_

 _Illusions that seem to never end_

 _Hidden under a vacant smile_

 _Fearing words that were never said_

 _Echoing in endless layers of gray..._

 _Failing to find an answer_

 _I hold my breath again_

 _Desperate to break away_

 _From this insanity..._

* * *

Sitting on a bench in a small park on the outskirts of the east blok, biting into a Mio bird sandwich, it's surprisingly easy to talk to Kiyoteru Hiyama. He tells good stories, stories about people he's had to find, the people he's met on the way. It's almost awkward, considering all the things that I said and all the things I didn't. But that's a fact he pointedly ignores and I think I would call this feeling _grateful_.

Surrounded in a haze of cigarette smoke, Kiyoteru Hiyama looks at me, so much more, so much less and he says, "I think you've done enough." Hands wrapped around my cheeks, forcing me to look into his eyes, Kiyoteru Hiyama says, "It'd be okay if you decided to be happy." Eyes full of concern, Kiyoteru Hiyama whispers, "I don't think he ever blamed you."

And the worst part is, I want to believe him so badly. I want to think that his words are true, even though I know the reality is far different from that.

Getting up to leave, he ruffles my hair, like an old friend, or maybe even an older brother and it's nice, this sort of delusion. "Thank you, Kiyoteru Hiyama."

Stifling a snort, Kiyoteru Hiyama smiles and shakes his head. "Just call me Kiyoteru." Waving goodbye, …Kiyoteru walks away without looking back. Watching him disappear around the corner, I almost wish he did.

* * *

 _If the second hand falls into silence_

 _Then this world would stop its turning_

 _All these words whispered in prayer_

 _Would be lost and then forgotten_

 _Let me smile for just one more day_

 _Let me hope for one more night_

 _And if you should never hear me_

 _Then I'd rather you just kill me_

 _Every time I dream, I can hear your voice_

 _Reaching out to me as I keep drowning_

 _In this heart, an empty canvas_

 _We will bury it together_

 _but if in the end you have to leave me_

 _That you'd burn me with your fire_

 _And release me from this life_

* * *

"Thanks Kaito. It looks good."

Throwing a wink at me, he responds, "It's my pleasure." Leaning against the counter, green apron and blue scarf fluttering against the wind, a smile on his face, it's almost like how it used to be. But like the usual these days, the exchange falls short. Handing Kaito his money, I really do miss how he used to be. But t least he's being less angry and hostile and shit. Andddd I take that back.

"Kaito…what is it? Just spit – "

Reaching over the counter, his hand suddenly grabs my left cheek. The landing is rough, his touch isn't as gentle as Kiyoteru's. As the anger starts to rise once again, so does the pain. Hissing out, my food clatters back against the counter, some of it spilling. Stepping back, shit, my cheek hurts so fucking much. Then again, there's only so much a bandage can do.

"Miku! What happened to your cheek? Did Len do that?"

Looking so _earnest_ , so _angry_ , a mix of righteous and possessive, my time with Kaito is also running out, isn't it?

"No Kaito." Stepping back, out of his reach, "Len knows I'd beat him to a pulp if he tried to pull something like this." I don't belong to you.

Kaito just looks back at me skeptically. He doesn't believe me, he hates Len too much for that. "Miku….are you me telling the truth? Look, if he's hurting you…."

I really don't have the patience for this. I really, really don't.

"It's ok Kaito. Really. Len would never hit me."

He's not the sort of bastard that would.

* * *

 _"Sir…I'm here…."_

 _Standing with his back to me, the silence is deadly and loaded, much like the gun that he thinks I don't know about in the desk drawer. I'd like to take this moment to officially declare this day a shitfest. I'll second that. We're all going to have a sucky time, aren't we? Yupppp. We are so fucked._

 _Minutes pass before a brusque voice clips at me, "Miku. Come here."_

 _There's no doubt about it. He's absolutely pissed at me. Should we even bother asking the Saints for help? Well, they haven't exactly been listening to us today. So I'm going to say no. Great. Fuck. . I still remember the last time I seriously pissed him off…just…fuck._

 _There are times when you see it coming but you know that you're better off not dodging it. This is one of those times. Sometimes, I can't help but hate the things we've learned. Watching Sir's fist fly through the air, it hurts before it even makes contact. And when it does, crashing roughly into our left cheek, I know I'm flying against the room. Crashing against the wall adjacent to where we was standing, black and blue dots float across my eyesight and I know I'm lucky that all my teeth stayed in my mouth. Even as the pain settles into my skin, I know I'm lucky._

 _Huge and heavy feet stomping towards me, the resignation burns. I think that's the worst part sometimes, making myself give up when I just want to keep fighting. But fighting back would only make him angrier. It'd only want to make him hurt us more. And even with all of our training, we'd never win, not this way._

 _Pulling us up by our hair, my body lifts off the ground, fuck it's length sometimes. Hanging by my hair in that awkward place where my toes barely skim the ground, there's no support at all, tears slip, it hurts. It's a strain to hold in the whimpers, to look up into his face, his scar squirming._

 _"Why were yah with_ _ **him**_ _?"_

 _I had_ _expected this question. Waiting inside our apartment was Big Al. With emotionless eyes, his hand ruffled my hair. He didn't have to say anything, his presence alone told us everything we had to know. Sir was – is – pissed at me. Sent because he's too angry to call, too impatient to wait, Big Al's presence in my apartment really only means one thing: impending punishment._

 _It's pitiful sometimes, the things I've learned to accept._

" _I…fainted. He happened to be the one to pick me up." Saints, everything hurts. Please let this end soon._

 _The answer is not sufficient enough. It shows in his eyes. "_ _ **What?**_ _Why?"_

 _"I…saw a car. I freaked out."_

 _"What a fucking pathetic bitch yah are, even after all these years." I know._

 _Letting go of my hair, I'm back against the wall, please let this end soon._

" _But why did yah fuckin' stay?"_

" _I…"_

 _His boots freeze in place. The voice is now a snarl. "Don't yah dare fuckin' try to stall with me Miku. Why. Did. Yah. Stay?!"_

 _My face hurts. It's hard to think. Someone please get me out of here. Saints, it hurts. "I don't really know Sir. I figured that since he wasn't trying to arrest me, it might be a good idea to try to get to know him better." He was trying to help me._

" _Give me yah calling device."_

 _Leaning to the side, the fucking device is right where it's supposed to be. Placing it in his waiting hand, I can see our fingers trembling, fuck I hate this. Walking away from me, he inspects the black device, opening it and pressing buttons. Finding nothing out of the ordinary, he snaps it shut, the wretched thing dwarfed in his hand._

 _The next part isn't all that surprising. Whipping his hand, the useless device slams into my left shoulder. It shatters upon impact. Fuck, I'm crying, aren't I? There's blood running down my arm, staining the wooden floors beneath me. Fuck. Please let this be over soon. A rough hand grabs me under my chin. Held in place, a sinisterly voice growls, "_ _ **Never let this happen again**_ _."_

 _With my release, a familiarly heavy object lands into my lap. It was so hard, not to laugh. A brand new calling device. It just never ends, does it? It just never ends. Please, just let this end. Please stop crying. I hate this. I know._

" _Yah dismissed."_

* * *

"Miku – you're hiding something from me, aren't you?" Fuck, I forgot I was still talking with him.

"Kaito – it's nothing, _really_. You're looking way too deeply into this. I'm _FINE_...I'm fine, alright?"

Unconvinced, Kaito just stares per me, as per usual. But this is my win and we both know it. From the distance, I can spot a familiar golden head bobbing my way. Perfect. "And look, here comes Len now. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

Slowly nodding his head yes, he answers, "But of course." Calm down. I'm trying.

"Mornin' Len!" We can do this.

"Morning Pretty Girl –Your face!?"

Standing to the side of the crowd, it's easy to see his hand reach for my chin. Calm down. Calm down. Calm. Down. It's fine. Everything's fine. Really. Believe it. But everything's hazy around the corners. Curling with hesitation before finally making contact it feels warm and kinda safe. It's nice.

"Miku…what happened to your cheek…and your shoulder?" Shit. He noticed. Of course he did. He's a thief. Being perceptive is in the job description. Well what should I do? Lie? Nah. Just keep it simple.

"Oh…Sir got kinda…angry last night."

Eyes widening, Len stammers out, "W-Was it because of me?"

And just like that, the laughter is building, bursting, roaring, everything cracks a little bit more. Because after all that's happened, after all the time that has passed, the reason Sir's _finally_ hurt me, the reason Sir _finally_ got pissed at me wasn't because of Len but fucking Kiyoteru Hiyama! How fucked up. What a shitty game.

Looking so _concerned_ , Len looks so lost. Lips parted, confusion in his eyes, he doesn't know what to do. And it's _so funny_. Because neither do I. I have no fucking idea what to do, Saints, this is too much. Tears slipping, pouring, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do at all. And Saints, this is so frightening. How _is_ anyone supposed to be happy like this?

Arms wrapping around me, so warm, so terrifyingly _safe,_ I don't know what to do.

"Miku…"

Tears drenching the shoulder of his shirt, my words come out muffled. "No Len. It wasn't your fault. It's mine. I did something he didn't approve of. Well…I did many things he didn't approve of. It was bound to happen."

"A-Are you ok? I know that's stupid to ask, considering, but…"

"It's okay Len. I've been better. But I've also been worse. So it's fine."

Arms holding me tight, tighter, I don't want to leave. Please stay with me. "No, it's not."

"So it's subjective. But guess what?"

Shaking his head slowly, he kisses my tears away. "What?"

"Love you." And I do. I really, really do.

And for a moment, there's this unreadable look on his face. Stroking my cheek, the silver ring on his finger runs a cold trail on my skin. Chuckling lightly, he responds, "Love you too Miku."

Letting his arms drop, one of his hands tangle with mine. Heading off to buy my groceries, it's hard not to wonder whether or not I really have done enough.


	11. Clue

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

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 **10\. Clue**

* * *

So are we going to do this? I don't know.

Sitting on the railing across from Len's door, kicking my legs through the gaps between the iron rods, part of me really doesn't want to do this. Then why are we even bothering? Because in order to move on, to make a _choice_ , we need to know, just how much is enough? But this has nothing to do with that. But Len's hiding something. That he is. We have to know what we're dealing with. There's no other way.

And what about us? What do you mean? He knows we're hiding stuff too. It's pretty obvious actually. Will we answer him back? I don't know. Maybe? Or at least partially? I don't know. I don't want him to hate us. I don't want him to leave. So is that it? In return for his honesty, we'll keep lying? I…I don't know. Why is being happy so hard? We were never supposed to have it to begin with. Right.

So are we going to do this? I guess so.

Staring at the door, the dents notched into the inorganic material, everything keeps changing. So this is no different. Really, it's not. Just get up and knock on the door. You know he's home. You know he'll let you in. But I'm scared. I don't want to end up regretting this. Come on. We won't. How do you know? I don't. The future is uncertain like that. Hey? Yeah? I have no idea what we're trying to do. I know. We can't leave. I know. There's no point in trying to do this. I know. We'll both die anyways. No! No? I want Len to live. …Yeah. Yeah. Me too. Why didn't we think of that before? Because it seemed inevitable. Is it not anymore? I'm not so sure anymore. Saints, this is all so pointless.

So are we going to do this? Yeah.

Slipping off the railing, my dress drags heavily, clinging to my body even as my hair slaps against my back. Behind me, the rain pours down mercilessly. Standing in front of the door, knocking three times, it's easy to hear the movement behind the door. Breath trapped in my lungs, Len calls out "Who is it?" and it's unexpectedly hard to say something as simple as my name. Because what if we haven't done enough? What if Kiyoteru was wrong? What then?

But the door swings open and there's Len, a look of pleasant surprise on his face. "Hey there Pretty Girl. There are sneakier ways to slip into my bedroom, you know." Joking easily, his fingers clutch the doorway, quickly turning white. But then he looks, he _really_ looks and then there's concern written all over his face. "Jeez Miku! You're drenched!"

So I am. "Yeah. So now you have to let me in."

Chuckle pushing past his lips, he easily places a kiss on my lips and murmurs "As if I'd turn away a pretty thing like you." Sometimes, I really wish you would.

Grabbing my hand, he pulls me inside. There's a small dingy window, a single bed, a small bedside table, a single closet, a lone table with a pair of chairs and a door that most likely leads to a small bathroom. It's just like our room, isn't it? Water drips behind us, me, it's a mess. It's a shame really. The architectures don't believe in variety. Not for the poor anyways. We're not worth the trouble. Ha! True.

Placing me in a chair, Len grabs a towel and starts on my hair. Fighting with my hair ties, water splatters all over the floor, I'm surprised I don't have fish swimming through there. Are you kidding me? That'd be nasty. But Len says nothing, he's probably not even bothered. Humming under his breath, _I just want to know one simple thing,_ the almost silence is nice, absolutely nerve-wracking, don't you dare back down now. Leaving the towel around my neck, he rummages through his closet, probably looking for something I can wear. A sheepish smile on his face, it's clear he doesn't have anything my size. I'm not surprised. But still, he grabs a shirt and a pair of pants and places them on my lap. Kissing me on the cheek, he heads into the bathroom without a word and shuts the door. The lock clicks.

Standing up to change, it's almost surprising how much bigger Len is from me. The shirt alone hangs to my thighs, I don't want to imagine the pants. I'll probably be better off not wearing them. Who needs those anyways? But I have to say, this is a nice shirt. Uh-huh. It smells just like him. I think I'll take this home with me. Haha, why not?

Coming out of the bathroom, his face slightly damp, Len's eyebrows rise when they land on me. His hands shaking ever so slightly, I can feel the smirk on my face. The words, "Like what you see?" tumble without a thought and I wonder how many of my questions will be answered tonight.

Leaning against a wall, he says "Always" and I know it's true. Walking over to him, my arms wrap around him and it's worrying because I haven't even started asking my questions yet and already Len seems to be falling apart. It's a little hard to believe everything will be all right when he acts this way, every time a little worse than the last.

Pressed against his chest, my head tucked under his head, sometimes, I wish I could stay here forever, wrapped up in his embrace. I bet the world would seem better that way. So please Len? Make it so that I can't kill you. Tell me I've done enough. You should have escaped when you had the chance. Pulling us both toward the bed, we land in leap and Len's fingers grasp me tighter, his breath hitches, his heart rate jumps to an unsteady beat.

Curling on top of him, the usual words flow past my lips, "It's okay." Curling my fingers in his hair, pressing a short, chaste kiss to his lips, "It's fine, Len." You're not the only one here who's defective. I don't mind. Really. It's now or never.

"Len. I need to ask you something important."

"…Ok."

Taking a deep breath, the words come out easier than expected. "Why did you leave your home?" Why were you disowned? Who were you before? What are you running from?

"Miku…" Fingers clutching my hips, haphazardly tangled in my hair, his voice comes out strained.

"Please Len. I need to know. I really, really need to know. "

"Mi- "

"Did you know? The other day, someone told me that it'd be okay if I decided to be happy. They said…that I've done enough. But I'm not sure…I'm not sure Len. Did I really? I'm not sure. And the more I keep thinking, the more I don't know. And then I started to wonder, who were you, before you met me? Because if I really have done enough and decide to leave it all behind…I don't know Len. It's frightening. It didn't use to be this difficult. Everything was so easy, I knew exactly what to do and what was expected of me. Just…who were you Len?"

Holding me so tight, Len's heart beats under my head. I wonder how long that'll last. Today? Tomorrow? A couple years from now? Just how much time do we have anyways? I would really love it if it lasted eternity.

"Hey Miku?"

Taking deep breaths, I can sense Len's acceptance before he says it. "Yeah?"

"If I tell you this…do you promise not to hate me afterwards?"

It's funny sometimes, how these things turn out, the things we fear. "Len…there isn't much that would make me hate you."

"Miku…I'm scared…that if you knew what happened, you'd become disgusted with me. I'm scared you'll want nothing to do with me. I don't want you to leave. Please don't leave me."

Well fuck. "Len…I don't know if I can promise that. I…Len…Just know, that whatever you tell me, I'll always love you more."

Nails digging into my skin, "Miku – "

"Please Len. I need to know. You won't disgust me. At least for now, I won't leave. So tell me a story, ok? Tell me, why are you so scared of sex?"

Holding me tight, his body shaking, we're the worst. I know. We're being selfish. I know. But we have to know what we're dealing with. There's no other way. Because if we do run, somewhere far away and over the hills, my past won't be the only one to chase after us. That is something I know for sure.

"Tell me Len, who were you before you met me?"

And so he did. That night, curled around me, Len told me a story. Pressed against his chest, with his fingers tangled in my hair, his voice floating above me, it went something like this.

There was a girl, a boy and their mother. Of course there were other people, like the servants and their father but they didn't really matter as much.

The girl and boy, they were twins, little blonde beauties. Together, they were two parts to a whole. Hands clasped, hearts connected, their identity was defined as an entity. They were so sure that one could never exist without the other. They were going to be together, forever. After all, they were _meant_ to be.

Living in the Central Blok in a secluded mansion surrounded by sprawling fields, their world was a small one, unnaturally microscopic. They were happy. Their mother was wonderful, the servants were kind and loving, their father was barely there, everything was _perfect._

And then, one day, it wasn't.

Sitting at the dining table, polished and haughty, their father announced that he'd be going on a trip, somewhere far away. His wife was to come with him. And like the good and obedient wife she was, she agreed. They left the next day.

Crying in front of the doorway, they begged her not to go, to stay with them, they loved her more. Smiling fondly, she kissed them goodbye, "Be good." "I'll come back soon."

She never did come back. Hideki and Lola Kagamine died two days later. Someone had strapped a bomb to their car. There were no survivors. It was bound to happen eventually.

The _relatives_ started passing by soon after that, strangers dressed in black. Their whispers filled the house, muted by the obligatory wailing. The fortune. "Oh how could this happen?" Billions of Ethas. "They were such kind people!" Don't you know how many companies they owned? "How tragic!" The connections they have - _had_? "They'll be dearly missed!" And look at this house… "You poor dears." It's _magnificent_. "I'm _so_ sorry for your loss." It could all be _ours. "_ I wish I could help…" Ugh. But those brats…

It's a little sad sometimes, how helpless children are.

Weeks passed, and the _relatives_ came and left until there was only one, an uncle from their father's side. It was decided that he would take care of the twins until they were old enough to claim their inheritance.

Sitting in front of them, legs crossed, he looked so _kind_. He _seemed_ so kind. Looking into his eyes, so different from their father's, they thought they could be happy with him, like everything could be perfect once again.

Seated in front of the balcony window, hands intertwined, it was hard not to be hopeful.

The first clue was the car. Rolling into the driveway, inky and shining, it reeked of money and power.

The second clue was the family, the one that was never mentioned beforehand. At best, it was a marvelous surprise. Stepping out from the passenger seat was an elegant woman with cascading blonde curls and oversized sunglasses. Following behind her was a boy, a few years older than them, with wheat blonde hair and icy blue eyes. Perfection never looked so attainable until then. At worst, well…

Running down the stairs, so unbearably close, the frailest of images really do shatter easily. Greeted by disinterest and distain, it was easy to connect the dots. The family name, the money, the _power._ That was all the people in their driveway ever wanted. And they got it. Dinner was really quiet that day. No one came to say goodnight. The old staff was fired the next day.

The boy, Leon, was a terror. Destroying everything in his path, because he wanted to, because he could, because the maids liked his smile and pretty blue eyes, his was the worst kind of enemy, the kind they couldn't win against.

And so, they kept to themselves. They had each other. They didn't _need_ any one else. All they needed was the other. Everything would be fine. After all, they were meant to be. They were going to be together, forever. Everything would be ok. They were sure of it.

Years passed. Their uncle took over the family name while their aunt spent all the money. And Leon…well, he found new toys to break. It became normal, to hear him, _them_ , moaning, whining, from his room, the nooks in the hallway, everywhere really.

And somewhere, between all that time, things changed, as they do, as they should. So minute in the present, it grew and melded until it was impossible to ignore. But the clues were always there.

The girl started to disappear from time to time, categorizing the disappearances as "feminine problems." Her legs wobbled, she smelled odd, messy hair, burn marks from her curling iron, it should have been obvious to just about anyone. It was definitely obvious to the maids, who gave them pitying looks as they passed by. But it's amusing, how strong desire can be, especially when it comes to the things that don't want to be seen.

He found them in a guest room, his twin and Leon. Legs tangled, her back arched, his hand on her breast, it's the last thing anyone expects really, their other half having sex with the enemy.

Frozen by the doorway, he couldn't move, he couldn't look away, compelled to watch even in his horror and disgust. Anger boiling under his skin, at her, at Leon, at himself, the world spun at dizzying speeds, hopelessly beyond his control, when did things become so wrong?

And then their eyes met. Horror and sadness and embarrassment and shame and regret and pain and regret, WHY? They hated him! He was their enemy! How could she let him touch her like that? What had gone wrong?

But the clues were always there. And in a way, he had always known. He just didn't want to see it. How selfish. He should have known! He was her other half, wasn't he? HE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! How many times did she secretly ask for his help, to be saved? How many times did he ignore her out of convenient ignorance? The clues were always there.

But he didn't want to see them. He didn't want to connect the dots. So time did it for him. Games should always reach their completion.

Squeezing her eyes shut, opening them again, she mouthed for him to go, to leave, _please._ But he didn't. So he stood there, compelled to watch even in his horror and shame.

And then Leon turned around. "What do we have here?" he said. "Do you want to join in on the fun, Lenny boy?" he asked. "Your sisters screams beautifully in bed, did you know?"

Switching positions, his sister on display, he could see _everything_ and even still, he couldn't move. (Sometimes…I can still hear her screaming.)

Sitting there, hips thrusting, Leon looked so _proud_. "You know, this little twin relationship you have going on here is real cute."With his hands grabbing all over her body, he crowed, "Little Rinny here was the only girl in this entire fuckin' place that constantly kept refusing me." Head hanging, her tears dripped onto her thighs. "But it's funny." Grabbing her hair, wrenching her head back, "Because the moment I mentioned _your_ name and your possible untimely demise, she suddenly became as eager as all of the other horny bitches in this place" her lips were bright red and bruised. " She must love you sooooo much, don't you think?" Blood dripped down her chin. "Oh, what a sweet little twin here you have Lenny." She didn't want to scream and moan. "You should be proud **."** Not in front of him. "Now do me a favor," he said. "Leave. You're ruining the moment." (I should have done something.) "But don't worry – I'll give her back to you soon enough. Don't I always?"

Puking outside the doorway, Leon watched and laughed, cackling, intermixed with the escaped sounds from Rin's lips. Running down the hallway, that couldn't be it. There was still something he could do. He could still save her, right?

They could run away, over the hills and far away. Two bags, clothes, food from the pantry, most of the money from the safe, something could still be salvaged, surely.

He found her on her bed, staring out the window, her nightdress falling off one shoulder. Fiddling with a revolver, she saw his reflection through the window.

"What are you doing Len?"

She looked so defeated.

"Rin, let's leave, somewhere far away, just the two of us."

So shattered and broken.

"And do what?"

But everything would be ok.

"Start over. There's more to life than this mansion. We could find our own way."

Wouldn't it?

"Yeah. I could just prostitute myself once we run out of money."

They were two parts to a whole.

"No! No. I'm...I'm sorry Rin. I'm sorry for not noticing. I'm sorry for not helping. But...it'll be better this time. I'll be better this time! I promise!"

They were supposed to be happy.

"Len. I have to do this. He'll never let us go. He'll never let _me_ go."

They were going to be together, forever.

"You don't know that."

After all, they were _meant_ to be.

"But I do."

Weren't they?

"Rin…"

Reaching towards her, she flinched from his touch.

"Don't touch me…I'm dirty."

Hugging her tight, he was so sure there was still something left to fix. "Please Rin? We'll go someplace new. We'll move to a new republic. We'll live together and we'll be happy and there'll be no one to hurt us. All – All I need is you. I don't need or want anything else. All I want is you. You'll see. Everything will be all right. I won't let you struggle by yourself anymore. I'm so, so sorry, Rin."

But Rin just struggled. "No!" She screamed. "YOU'RE WRONG! YOU'RE WRONG! IT'S TOO LATE! THERE IS NO GOING BACK! EVERYTHING I EVER DID WAS FOR YOU! Don't you see Len? Don't you see? You are everything to me. I'd do anything for you. Please don't let all my hard work go to waste."

"Then come with me."

"It's not that easy!"

Lunging for the revolver, he intercepted and as they tumbled and rolled, falling off the bed, the clues were always there, right from the very beginning. Screaming, crying, there is no such thing as perfection, they were doomed from the start. After all, the children of politicians never live for long.

And then the door slammed open, startled by the noise and his finger twitched, positioned in the wrong place, aimed at the wrong person and the gun went off and that was how Rin Kagamine died, bleeding on the floor, whispering, "I'm sorry."

Blood pooling around his knees, the world twisted and tore, going too fast, the light fading from her eyes, the relieved look on her face, _love you_ screaming, yelling, "what did you do?!"

Horribly empty, equilibrium off, taking the heaviest bag and running, "Bye Len," he can't stay. Tearing down the hallways, tripping and falling, Leon laughing, cackling, sweat slicked skin, robe half open, his body over Rin's, the look in his eyes, the creak of the bed, blood rolling down her chin, "I'll give her back to you soon enough, don't I always?"

Standing, stumbling, the world blurs, the vase trembles on its stand, fingers curled, breaking, shattering, flying, bursting, blood, water, flowers, yellow and golden, everything burns and Leon screams, howls, clutching his face, you can't stay.

Crashing through the front doors, slipping down the stairs, hotwiring a car, there's no one waiting for him to come back.

Moral of the story: there's no such thing as eternity.


	12. Sorry

Hey everyone!

Sorry for the delay! I have officially run out of per-edited/written chapters so yeah. I just spent the last two days writing this one out. I have to admit, it was hard, conveying the right...feelings I guess. The lack of assassinship experience didn't quite help either...but I try. I spent a lot of my time in high school imagining I was a (under)world renowned assassin, so there's that lol. So anyways, what I mean to say is that try to expect updates from now to be in the friday/saturday region. I will honestly try to keep it between those two days.

I want to thank everyone that has been reading this and keeping up with it. All of your love has made me super happy! 'til next week!

\- Sunset

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

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 **11\. Sorry**

* * *

No. No. nonononononono, It can't - Holy fuck! It's…It's him! No! It can't be! It can't seriously be…but it is! Holy fucking shit it's actually him! Think about it! The hair, the fucking eyes, the son of a politician, the timing! No, it's probably just a coincidence – that his female twin is dead?! They were the only political family in Admodia with twins! No, no, no! It can't be! But it is! Fuck! Saints, fuck, seriously, maybe he's from Echal?

"Len!"

Blue eyes, like perfect sapphires, fear, uncertainty, too specific of a shade, oh Saints, "You're…It's you, isn't it?" Golden hair, like spun gold, the envy of the republic, "You're the missing heir to the Kagamines."

Air caught in his throat, nothing comes out, pained little breaths, Saints, _no_. Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, out of all the people in the fucking world…it had to be _you_.

"Miku…" Sitting up, getting closer, the weight under me shifts, _blonde hair stained red_ , " _ **NO!**_ "

Scrambling away, Saints _why_ , crashing off the bed, hardwood floor knocking, it's hard to breathe, out of _everyone_ in the world, _"Never fall in love with anyone",_ of course none of this would be easy.

"Miku!" Peering from the bed, so fucking scared, so fucking concerned, eyes the color of sapphires, hair like spun gold, missing for over a year, "Please…don't…"

We can't do this. We have to go, before it's too late, it'll be fine, there's no such thing as eternity anyways, it'd be stupid to think otherwise, "Please don't go." Tears rolling down his cheeks, shaking, fingers turned white, clutching the sheets, "Please don't hate me Miku."

"No…Len…you don't get it," Saints, please understand, " I can't – "

"You promised! You…you said you wouldn't hate me…you _promised."_

"I DON'T!" Fuck, shit, I messed up. Saints, we messed up so badly. How…how are we going to – "I don't hate you Len. I really, really, don't." We have to go. "But I can't stay."

It's not too late right? Do you think Sir knows? Fuck, I don't know. Maybe not? Because if they're actually true, the rumors, then we would have gotten the order already. Good point. Yeah. There's still time. It's fine. It'll be fine. Unless he's doing this to punish us, that's something he'd do. No, the timing's off, there's no reason for him to pretend not to know, well maybe he's waiting, I DON'T KNOW! Saints, fuck, I don't know.

"Why Miku?"

Saints, what do we do? I really fucked up, didn't I? I mean… There's no such thing as eternity. We knew that. You knew that. I knew that. There's no such thing as eternity. He "used" to be a politician's son. We should have known. But we believed it! We – I – you, there's no point in promising anyone tomorrow. No point at all. It's a fact, something that could never be true. So…why? I can't…fuck. FUCK!

"I…I didn't mean it."

We took the game too far. Saints, we took it too far. If we stay,

"I…I didn't mean to kill her. I…It was…"

Sir will find out. We'll…we'll be the ones to kill him.

"I just wanted everything to stay the same!"

But we knew that. We knew that! Right from the very beginning, we knew that we'd be the ones to kill him! It's our fucking job! The sons of politicians are literally in the job description! We knew that and we warned him, we knew how this would end!

"Please don't hate me."

But I don't _want_ it to end that way! Why is this so hard? I don't want to be the reason why he ends up dead! I…I don't want him to die. But…he's a Kagamine! A fucking Kagamine! Everyone wants him dead! For some reason or another, someone is going to have him killed. The money! The fame! The power! If someone's going to fucking kill him, then I rather it be us!

"Don't leave…please?"

 **NO!** No one is killing him! That's not a fucking option! Why not? Didn't we agree that we'd find a way to make sure he'd live?! That was before we found out he's the fucking missing heir to the fucking Kagamines! You said that already! Gahh! The Kagamines are the fucking most powerful family in fucking New Ethatrias! You heard what he said! You think they want him!? You think they're okay with the fact that he's still alive, connected to the fortune? They're fucking not! And when they find him…they'll kill him.

"I'm sorry."

They'll kill him because the only person he matters to is us.

"I'm sorry."

But…I…I don't _want_ to kill Len. I don't want him to die. Well what other option do we have? Even…even if we leave him, we can't keep him safe. The world is too big and so is his family's power. Fuck, I hate this game. I hate this so much. I never wanted any of this.

"I'm sorry."

Tears pouring from his eyes, so deep and drowning, fuck. _Fuck_ I'm scared. Someone help me, "I'm sorry," so there's nothing we can do? We're not meant to be saviors… Well maybe we could be. You know we aren't!

Curled up on the bed, breaking, shattering, broken, nails raking down his arms, bottom lip caught between his teeth, so fucking vulnerable, there's nothing you can do. There has to be something! Winding up tighter, pieces bleeding out from his eyes, there's no such thing as eternity, well what if we make it ours? You know we can't do that. Says who? I DON'T KNOW!

Sobbing into the sheets, broken wails filling the room, the reason why he couldn't touch me, this wasn't supposed to happen. I can't do this. Eternity, it's not real. Mumbling to himself a thousand times over, _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry_

There's nothing we can do. Nothing at all. _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry_ You know…this life, this game we play, _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry,_ it's all really pointless, isn't it? I wonder why we ever bother playing it sometimes. Everything is fucked up anyways. It'll never be enough anyways. _We'll_ never be enough. Not for the world, not for Sir. _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry._ We could work until the day we die and it would never be enough. What's the point of a game like that? I don't know. _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry_ But it's not like we didn't know! We knew it was a suicide mission from the very beginning! We were never supposed to survive this game! _I'msorry I'msorry_ Says who? I don't know.

Do you think he hates us? Who? Gakupo? I…What if Kiyoteru was right? _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry_ What if he never did blame us? After all…he said so himself, didn't he? _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I love you._ That doesn't change _anything._ No, I guess it doesn't. Regardless of whether he blamed us or not, we still have a debt to pay. Damn straight. It's the least we can do…

But…I'm tired of living this way. Aren't you? There's no such thing as eternity. There's absolutely no way any of this could end well. I know. But maybe…maybe we don't even need eternity. What if…we just lived long enough? Long enough? _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry_ Yeah. Long enough to just be ourselves and nothing more. We're not allowed to do that. Say who? I…I don't know.

 _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry Saints Rin, I'm so so sorry_

He's breaking…isn't he? That's our fault too, isn't it? _I'msorry_ He thinks we hate him. Idiot. We wouldn't be here if we did. I know that. But does he know that? He should. Don't be harsh. _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry_ Weren't we this bad when Gakupo died? Um no. Do you see Sir dealing with this mess? …Good point. But we're not Sir. No. We're not. We're just ourselves. Useless, tainted trash.

 _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry_

Trash with a debt. It's frightening, isn't it? We were never supposed to be this important. We were never supposed to matter this much. There really is no way out. _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry._ If we stay, Sir will eventually make us kill him. If we leave, someone else will eventually kill Len. And even if we tried to protect him from the shadows, he won't survive it, will he? Being left alone a second time. No…I don't think he will. _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry_ We seriously fucked up. I told you that from the beginning, didn't I? You did. But you didn't listen. I didn't. And now, thanks to _you_ , we're hopelessly in love with the missing heir to the biggest fortune in New Ethatrias. That just about sums it up. _I'msorry_

What if we – we're not saviors. Says fucking who?! Who says we even have to be? But what if he ends up hating us? We'll cross that bridge when we get there. This won't end well. Yeah, tell me something I don't know. Please? Aren't you just the tiniest bit curious? Don't you want to know how it feels like, to be fearlessly in love? _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry_ Two broken pieces don't make a whole. Maybe not. But if you don't get hung up over the details, it might just be close enough. After all, we're too far gone to have it any other way, aren't we? I suppose so.

…Nothing will ever be the same after this. I know. There's no going back. That's okay. This will end horribly. I wouldn't have expected anything else. _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry_ Didn't you know? We were condemned from the start. It'll… be okay. No it won't. Fine. But we won't regret this. How do you know? I don't. The future is uncertain like that. But I'd like to believe that we won't. So are we going this? Yeah. What more do we possibly have to lose? …Good point. But our debt? I…I think Gakupo might be happier if we tried to pay it off this way instead. That's so fucked up. What isn't? I don't know anymore.

We're really bad at this, aren't we? Tears staining the sheets, ripping between his fingertips, his breath down to a rasp, _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry ,_ "Len", we could be worse I suppose. Yeah…We could murder people for a living. Oh _wait_. We already fucking do that. Shut up. You're not helping. I never said we were the best option. Fine.

"Len." _I'msorry I'msorry_ Do you remember when out life wasn't so fucking complicated?

"Len!"

Yeah. It was so fucking boring. _I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry_

Fuck, he's really gone. So how are we going to do this? We gotta snap him out of it. How? Easy. Grabbing Len by the wrist, there's no resistance, a heap of skin and bones tumbling to the floor beside us, ha! Revenge is a bitch isn't it? Seriously? This is not the time. Fuck you. It's _always_ the time. Hissing in pain, the room unnaturally quiet, a series of tiny little gasps, "Look at me Len."

Curled around my legs, tears streaming, looking anywhere but me, "Len. Look at me."

"LOOK AT ME FUCKING DAMMIT!" Seriously? Shut up. And when he does, shattered and broken, so many tiny pieces flitting about, fuck this is frightening. Is this how it feels like? To be more important than anything else? Looking up at me, the color bleeding from his eyes, what do we say, "I'm so sorry Len," I guess that works.

Deep breaths, everything's fine, no it's not…but it will be, right? Probably not.

Trailing my fingers down his cheeks, brushing over the tears, he feels cold, "I never wanted to hurt you like this, I knew I was being selfish, I'm sorry." I hope this is the worst I ever do to you.

Lips parting, words stuck in his throat, "I didn't mean to kill her."

"It's okay. I know you didn't."

Springing up, all the pieces abruptly snapping into place, misaligned, anger and pain, ablaze, "Don't fucking humor me."

So close, so far, hands flitting in midair, as if they don't know what to do, "Well fine. Here's what I think: you are completely at fault. You were selfish and your selfishness killed her. That is your truth. You didn't mean it but it happened anyways. And there is nothing in the world that you could do to change that. I…would know."

Angry, so, so angry, at the world, at himself, pieces crumbling to the floor, "But even so, I don't hate you for it. You…are perfect to me just the way you are. I wouldn't have you any other way." And that is my truth. "I love you Len."

Drawing him close, stiff in my arms, "Sometimes, I wish you could come closer, right through my chest and somewhere close to my heart. And maybe then Len, you could finally see everything that I am." Would you understand? "But since you can't, just know that I decided not to leave, ok? At least not without you. I…I don't know how long I can…stay, but I'm going to try."

Tension seeping from his body, going limp against me, his heart beats, steady and alive, "But there's something I need you to understand. I can't be your replacement for Rin and I can't promise you eternity. We…are not meant to be. I'm not a good person Len. I'm no good for you and I know you think that you're no good for me and I'm not trying to be…it's just…. I'm something so… you should want nothing to do with me. We should have never met. You know that. We're not meant to be. There's no such thing as eternity. But even so, you make me want to be more than I am. You make me believe that I'm good enough. You make me happy. And… I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. It's funny. I actually kind of hate it sometimes."

Easing into my arms, mumbling against my neck, "I don't understand you Miku."

"It's okay. You don't need to."

"But I want to."

"Then maybe you will with time." As if. Shhh.

"Hey Miku?"

"Yes Len?"

"Is it bad…that I'm a Kagamine?"

Actually - "Yes. It makes things significantly harder for us."

"I don't want you to regret this."

"I wish the same thing for you."

"Please don't leave me."

"I won't."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. So am I."

Pulling me in tighter, it feels warm, please don't let me go. Holding on tight, being held just as tightly, I can hear it, the beating of his heart. Is this what home feels like? Breathing me in, holding me tighter, I think it'd be nice if I could press even closer, right through his chest and somewhere close to his heart. I want to let Rin know that I'll take care of him in her place. Fingers tangled in my hair, tears soak through the cloth of my borrowed shirt, but it's different from before. A heart is a heavy thing to carry.

"I don't think she blames you."

"Do you really believe that?"

"No. But I'd like to, one day."

Drawing in closer, never let me go, I'm sorry. I have nothing to lose but you. Saints, that's frightening.

"Hey Miku?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's be together, forever."

Seriously? "Wow, you don't learn, do you? There's no such thing as eternity. Wasn't that the moral of the story?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I don't really care."

Squeezing me tighter, "Well maybe you should."

"But I won't. All I need is you."

Ah, fuck, "Len, I told you, I'm not your replacement for Ri – "

"And you're not. You're just Miku and no one else." There's no way out.

"I can't give you eternity Len. It's just not possible."

It's getting hard to breathe. "That's okay. I'll just believe hard enough for the both of us. You'll see Miku. We're going to be _eternal_. Please Miku? I want to be the one by your side. I want to keep calling your name. I don't want to ever let go. I can't stay away." There's no going back.

"You know what I love most of all out of all of this?"

"What?"

"I love the fact that I'm special to you."

We were never supposed to matter this much. "Obsessive freak."

"I know. But I was gone from the moment I saw your eyes."

"Huh. So I wasn't the only one."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No. Tell me."

"You…have nice eyes too."

"…Thanks…But please Miku? I don't care if it's real or not. You already warned me. I know. But please? I want to believe in this. I just want something to hold onto. I know you're going to have to kill me someday. I meant it before – I really don't min -"

See, even he - "No you fucking idiot! You're not allowed to die! I won't let it happen! I refuse!" - doesn't believe it. You're _really_ not helping.

"Miku, it's okay."

"No it's not! You'll see! We'll go somewhere else, far away and over the hills. Somewhere where you can just be you and I can just be me and…and…I'm not going to let someone kill you Len."

"Miku…"

"Shut up. If you're going to hold onto to something like eternity, than grant me this."

"...Ok."

Reaching into the front of my shirt, Len pulls out my ring, still hanging on its chain. Clasping the ring in his hand, its twin winks back at me. Don't even say anything. Fine.

"Let's make…a vow. Yeah, a vow. On these rings, I Kagamine Len promise to be by your side, just like this, for all of eternity. Whether it's in this life or the next, I will love you Miku, always."

So we're really doing this? Yeah. We are. You do realize that this game will be completely different than the last one? I know. But I was getting tired of that. Weren't you? I guess so. So let's do this. Let's play something different. I'm scared. I know, me too. I don't want this to end terribly. So let's make it so that it doesn't. I'm sure we can manage to do one thing right. That's subjective. Pessimist. Well someone has to be.

"And I, Hatsune Miku promise on these rings to be by your side, just like this, for all of…eternity. Whether it's in this life or the next, I will love you just like this. I will always love you Len, even if death makes us part."

Smiling ruefully at me, Len kisses me, desperation in disguise of a promise. "I really do love you Miku." And this, I know is true.


	13. Game 72

It's not the next day until you go to sleep. sorry for any errors. I'm tired. I'll recheck this soonish...and come up with a title.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

 **12\. Game 72  
**

* * *

…What time is it? Late. Wow. Thanks. As if I couldn't guess. Shut the fuck up and go back to sleep. No. We gotta go. Wha? Why? Sir hasn't even called. Exactly. We can't stay. Fuuuuucccccckkkkk. But Pretty Boy is so comfy. I know. I hate him. Sir? Who else? I don't want it to be tomorrow. It already is. Do you really think we can do it? …I don't know. But for now, let's just get back to our place….ok.

Sitting up, blinking through the darkness, it's really weird how alike and not alike Len's apartment looks from ours. But it's the tiny things I guess. The paint is peeling off in the wrong places. Yeah, so are the scratches on the walls. The table is in the wrong place too. Or _maybe_ it's the right place, bitch please, it's way too early for mind games. Where are our clothes anyways? Oh. I think that's it. Yup. That'd make sense. We probably should have set them out to dry properly. Yeah…are we keeping the shirt? Definitely.

Curled around me, golden hair illuminated by the moonlight, Len looks really cute when he's asleep. Are you sure we can't stay? **No.** Not that this will be easy. One of Len's hands is clenched tightly against the shirt I'm wearing. He's also asleep on about most of our hair. Damn it's length sometimes.

Running our fingers through his hair, Len sighs in his sleep. I won't let you die. Half tugging our hair from underneath him and half pushing him, Len eventually rolls over, my hair free but 'our' shirt still captive. See! Even Len doesn't want us to go! Are you stupid or something? Just shut up. But eventually, his fingers let go and now I'm free to go, even if we don't necessarily want to. Call it part of the game.

Switching our new shirt for my crumpled dress, can't we just leave the shirt on? It's comfier. No! Slipping on my shoes at the doorway, my shirt hangs from my arms. We probably look ridiculous right now. Well it's fucking late. Hopefully we'll get fucking home without any problems. Yeah. That'd be nice. See you tomorrow Len.

* * *

 _You know what you are. You are a professional._

 _All alone in this empty deserted place_

 _Both your hands, I no longer feel_

 _In the end my regret is to take the blame_

 _Consequence of my fallen ideal_

 _Synthesia; the colorful wind escapes me_

 _Songs of green, I can no longer hear_

 _Though you're watching over me so silently_

 _I know that you are there._

* * *

A girl is told to pick the flowers around her because she must. So she does. It's really that simple. Seated in the grass, humming to herself, the moon hangs low in the sky, it's easy to pretend that her fingers aren't being slowly dyed red.

The flowers snap at the stems, fragile, pretty things. Jostling the petals, watching them fall across her legs, it's beautiful to watch. That sort of fascination feels wrong without a definite reason.

Excitement reigned in, restrained, bound to nothing, the stars glimmer, far off shining pieces, they won't sing to her.

The pile grows at her feet, she hasn't been told to stop yet, the color travels up her arms but she still keeps going. She has a job to do. It's really that simple.

Humming to herself,

 _Your voice whispers my name_

 _My silent call, falls so faint_

 _The glass muting the soundwaves_

 _Your smile, I crave_

Who, exactly?

From the distance, a metal fence rattles and clangs. Was that always there? Ringing persistently into the air, the sound pierces her ears, how annoying. Looking back, that's not against the rules,

"Let me in."

Clutching onto the grass with her bloodied fingers, the girl stays frozen in place. This is bad.

"No."

"Then take my hand."

* * *

 _Your direction two steps I take quietly,_

 _You lay motionless; you were asleep_

 _Paralyzed, realized, I'm so cowardly,_

 _I despise myself for being so weak_

 _There's no point in freaking out about it now._

* * *

Why do you think the sky is blue anyways? Don't you remember? It's because water flows up. Huh. Then why doesn't the air feel wet? Because….there's other stuff in the air too. There's enough water to turn the air blue but not enough to make it obviously wet. But what about when the sky turns darker? Or why doesn't it look blue directly in front of us? I don't fucking know! You know we don't really know this shit!

I know. I know. I just…yeah. I know.

Looking up, the view obscured by branches and leaves, the sky is blue, oh so blue. Endlessly, annoyingly so. Gripping the branch under us tighter, the bark scratching against our palms, the pain isn't necessarily enough. We are so over our heads. Shhh.

The breeze picks up and the world trembles and rustles, frantic whispering, we're so fucked, shut up. In an alley way a girl and a boy play with a mangy dog, it's furnotably matted even from here. Licking up their fingers, gobbling up snatches of bread, the smiles overtaking their small faces, _Lights appear like the wind they've escaped my grasp,_

"Miku!"

Hmmm?

Looking up, straight at us even through the leaves, his smile overtakes his face. Relief stains the light in his eyes.

"Len."

He looks so much smaller from up here. Yeah. He does, doesn't he? Pressing my palms harder against the bark, the breeze rustles his hair, the golden strands flying, "for all of eternity," how terrifying, _Just illusion, or the real thing_

"Sorry you had to come and find me."

Shaking his head, the are lies written all over it, "It's okay. I figured you'd be here."

Fingers fiddling with the straps of his backpack, there's no going back, I don't want to go back. Eyes, bluer than the sky, deep, like sapphires, can you still see all the possibilities?

"How did you know?"

Perfect white teeth biting over his bottom lip, "let's be together, forever" _Though this silence is impossible to surpass,_

"Well…this is your SkyTree isn't it?"

Using more force than necessary, scratched raw but still not enough, it'll never be enough, blood rolling, don't even fucking start with that, let's try with that that too, we love you.

"Yeah. It is."

Standing so far down, looking so high up, searching for us, because for some reason we matter, because we're loved, _My song for you, I'm singing,_ these feelings that refuse to be lies, what are we supposed to be doing with them all anyways?

"What are you thinking about?"

So far down, the leaves and branches rustle, so fucking blue, yeah. I think I can see them, everything we could be. Wish us luck Gakupo.

Swinging one leg to one side, we're not going to regret this, we'll go over the hills and far away, somewhere where we can just be ourselves and no one else, do you think that place exists?

"The sky."

I don't know. Let's find out. Slipping off the end, falling through the air, the breeze picks up, whipping through, _Your voice whispers my name,_ we can do this.

Landing against the grass, standing so close, awe and amusement shining in his eyes, "We were thinking of the sky."

Picking a few stray leaves out of my hair, Len's fingers trail down my face, almost reverent, it's a little frightening, it's _fine_.

"Okay. Do you still want to go get food?"

Grabbing his free hand with one of ours, is this what home feels like? I don't know. But if it is, it's not too bad. We're doing it. We're really are staying. Yeah. Ok. Ok….ok. Ready? …Yeah.

"That sounds good."

* * *

 _My silent call, falls so faint_

 _The still past, it will not change_

 _Time just won't slow down_

* * *

"Mornin' Kaito."

From behind the counter, Kaito's eyes swim over at us. Blatantly ignoring Len, he smiles warmly. Silently scanning his eyes over our body, checking for new bruises or bandages, Len's grip on my hand tightens. Seeing nothing new, his smile grows. I hate it.

"Good Morning Miku. What will it be this morning?"

Digging into our cloak, it's hard not to wince at the meager amount lining my pockets. Not working sucks. So true. "I'll just have an F meal today please. "

At my response, Kaito's eyes darken just a bit but he doesn't say a thing. Curiosity burns through his eyes, his lips pressed tight. But he doesn't ask. He knows better than that.

"Ah. Do you want anything Len?"

Watching Kaito stand a little straighter, something else gleams in his eyes, "It's ok Miku. I'm fine."

Leaning over and pressing a kiss to our forehead, it's an innocent gesture except not really; it's a "Fuck You" in every sense of the meaning. A sudden flare of anger bursts from Kaito, his fingers turn white against the counter. And almost professionally, it's gone in seconds, as if it never happened. But it did.

Offering my money to him, Kaito takes the money from our outstretched hand, his fingers linger a couple seconds too long before putting the money into his apron and going slipping into the kitchen to pick up my order. But instead of handing over the B meal set like he usually does, he hands over the Triple A set.

Staring at the food, this makes no fucking sense, except it kinda does…."Kaito. Thanks but… I can't accept this. I really can't. This is too much. Please just give me the meal I asked for."

Shaking his head slowly, Kaito practically shoves the food into our hands. With a warm smile, he says, "Take it. I'm in an especially good mood today. I really want you to have this. Just this one time, alright?"

At that, Len's eyebrows rise, 'does he always give you upgraded food?' Shaking my head, fuck this is getting weird. There's something off about all of this. What the fuck even Kaito?

"Miku. It's all right." Smiling brightly, fingers turning even whiter against the counter, "Just take it. Everyone deserves a good breakfast now and then, don't you think?"

Besides us, Len almost nods in agreement, what the hell am I supposed to say to _that_? "Ok Kaito. But just this once, alright? No more Triple A meals."

"Yeah." Smiling brightly, it doesn't reach his eyes. I'm half tempted to just leave the food on the counter and starve for the morning. I don't like any of this. But this is Kaito. He's…my friend. Not really. He's just being really nice…right? Creepily so. We can't keep coming back…yeah. I think you're right. A final meal it is.

Sitting at our usual table, it really is hard to deny something so good looking. "Everything okay, Pretty Girl?" Settling into the chair in front of me, the concern on his face almost palpable, "Yeah. I'm fine. I've just never had food this nice before."

Nodding once, his eyebrows scrunch up in thought, the look on his face turning hopeful, "Maybe one day I could cook for you."

Pausing mid bite, "You can cook?"

Shrugging, his eyes flit away, "Not all the cooks could be trusted."

"I'd like that."

"What?"

Swallowing from the last bite, "I said I'd like that. You know, you cooking for me." Dragging my utensil across my food, "But you know what might be even nicer?"

"What?"

"Us cooking together." How sickening domestic. I know, right? Doesn't it sound like fun? Yeah…I guess you could say that. It wouldn't be terrible at the very least. No, it wouldn't be.

Recovering from his shock, the smile on Len's face is blinding, honest and sincere, yeah, we can do this. Taking another bite out of the deluxe meal sitting in front of us, a comfortable sort of silence falls. But after another two bites, three, four, five, ten…it hurts to chew. I guess I'm not that hungry this morning after all. What a waste of a last meal. Yeah…

Frowning at the unfinished plate of food in front of me, Len quietly leans over the table. Sitting so close, our lips practically touching, he quietly asks, "Miku, what's wrong?"

"I…don't know. I…just don't feel like eating anymore."

My head hurts. Are we thinking too much? Is that even a thing? Maybe? Saints, I'm getting so tired of everything being fucked up.

"Finish my food for me?"

Startled, Len stares at us with wide eyes. Ugh. Even I know we're being weird. We practically lick these damn plates clean usually. But I can't do this. Not today. Not now. I need to put my head down. The world needs to stay still.

Huh. That's not normal. When is anything ever normal? Good point. Hey, why is there two of everything? Didn't you know? Len's a quadruplet. Oh yeah! What's wrong Len #3? Why do you look so worried?

"Don't look at me like that. I'm fine. Honestly. I'm just…not all that hungry. So do us a favor and eat, alright? It'd be a shame to let such good food go to waste…."

A large and safe hand plops down onto the top of our head. Gently ruffling our hair, that's so much better. There's nothing to worry about. Everything is fine. I think Len is saying something but I really can't tell. It sounds all mumbly and blurred. You need to speak clearer Len. And where's your hand? I miss it.

I'm bored. Me too. I know! Let's count the seconds. That'll make time go faster. Yeah!

Tick tock. London bridges is falling down, falling down. Tick tock. Lock them up, my fair lady. Tick tock. What's a London Bridge? Tick tock. _Some_ of us are trying to save humanity! Tick tock. Since when? Tick tock. A fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break? That's like, sixteen walls. Tick Tock. You know, I missed the boxes. Tick Tock. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Tick tock. Is that even a word? Tick tock. Sora, you idiot! Tick tock. Or was it Riku? Tick tock. I wumbo. You wumbo. He, she, me, wumbo. Tick tock. It's first grade Spongebob! Tick tock. What the fuck is this nonsense? Tick tock. What was that? Tick tock. Speak louder - I can't hear you. Tick tock. I don't get it. Tick tock. Just what the fuck is going on? Tick tock. Ha ha ha ha! Tick tock. Fuck. Tick tock. Someone make this stop. Tick tock. Len finally came back! Tick tock. YAY! Tick tock. But something's not right. Tick tock. Something's not right at all. Tick tock. Wait. Tick tock. Len's in trouble. Tick tock. Dammit! Just someone stop this already! Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Aaarrgghhh! Tick tock. The words aren't coming out clear! Tick tock. Enough already! Tick tock. I can't think! Tick tock. OW!

Just what the fuck is the world doing? Tick tock. Get your shit together! Tick tock. Mine or the world's? Tick. Both! Tock. Stop moving, dammit! Back and forth. Back and forth. Tick tock. I can't breathe! Table. It's the table. Calm down. Tick. Calm the fuck down! Table. It's only the table. Tock. What table?

Oh, there you are Len. Ha ha, I was wondering where you went. Are you fighting with someone? Who are you fighting with? Knock his lights out! I don't get it. What's not to get? This is clearly WWE material. I'm not getting any of this, dammit! Why can't I feel my arms? Who cares? Fuck!

"-KU!" "MIKU!"

Len, where are you going? Who are you with? Did you win? Help me out here? Oh. Hi Kiyoteru. Are you helping Len get up? Can you help me next?

"I'm sorry. Saints, I'm so sorry Miku."

What? Why? Why are you sorry? Where are you going? Why are you bringing Len with you? I want him here with me! Please? Or…at least…take me too? "She's going to be okay, right?"

Please don't leave me here all alone! Please don't take him from me! "Please?"

But even from far away, Hiyama shakes his head no. "Yeah. It's fine." He wants Len all to himself. But…ours mine now. Kaito's coming. But I don't want him. Len. I want Len. Len. Give me back Len. We have to keep him safe! We have to make sure no one kills him! GIVE HIM BACK! Fading along the distance, the moving crowd swallows him whole. Gone. He's gone. I remember! What? How it ended.

* * *

 _Dispose of this encasing_

 _Look into my eyes please_

 _I only wish to sing_

 _I beg, set me free_

* * *

"Then take my hand."

Nestled in the grass, she watches the owner of the hand struggle against the fence, pushing desperately against it and failing.

"Everything will be alright. Just take my hand!"

Watching the boy, the petals flutter into her lap, forgotten. Curiosity, the dangerous kind, blooming across her chest, unable to resist, she wanders over.

Staring at the outstretched hand, at hers in comparison, "It's fine. I don't mind."

And in that moment, she finds herself believing in fluttering in the air, grabbing hold, it feels so right, like something she may have had long ago. Light in their hands, her hands drip with blood, running down her elbows. Filled with an unnatural sense of joy, different than before, the girl accepts the light and warmth that has found its way into her life.

But as quickly as it appears, the light disappears.

Shrouded in the darkness, alone, the stars won't sing to her. The blood pours, pooling at her feet, she can only stare, a deep sense of loss. Falling back to the ground, she goes back to work. Picking her flowers, she wonders which one was the boy.

* * *

You deserve to burn up in hell.

* * *

 _Your voice whispers my name_

 _My silent call, falls so faint_

 _The glass muting the sound waves_

 _Your smile, I crave_

* * *

But until then, you'll keep living your life, just like this until your fucking debt is paid. There's no point in feeling guilty about it now.


	14. Cops & Robbers

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

 **13\. Cops & Robbers**

* * *

Disjointed, the world shifts, a constant murmur, pulsing, there's no point in feeling guilty about it now. I don't get it.

Somewhere, anywhere, there are hands, maybe, up, off, we're flying, hovering in mid space, it's lonely. Familiar and foreign, it's wrong, what is, everything. Heaviness, like the gravity of Neptune, wait what, I hate this, I want Len.

Thrown about, nothing works, I hate this I hate this I hate this, the heat of skin, trembling under the weight, how fucking weak, give him back to me, you were stupid to believe in anything else.

SHUT UP! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

You aren't Len. You don't smell like Len. You don't feel like Len. Your hands are all wrong. Your hair is not even the right color, dammit. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! Just give Len back to me and I'll be on my merry way. As soon as everything works again. Just leave me alone. I want nothing to do with you.

Pressing a cup to our lips, I don't want to drink whatever shit you have to offer. It's so easy to see all the emotions on your face. How pathetic. Concern. Anxiety. Impatience. Frustration. I don't get it. Where do you get off on treating me this way? Why are you doing all of this? Just leave us alone.

There's a hand on our throat. And now it's squeezing. Stop! Stop! Stopitstopit! Please stop it. It's cold. This tastes horrible. We don't want to drink this anymore. My throat is cold. It'll freeze over. Please stop. _Stop._

It hurts. Saints, it's hurts, it _hurts_. Make it stop. Dammit! Just make it stop. I hate this! We hate this! Saints, I hate this so much. It's way too cold. We hate this. I don't want to burn to ashes just yet. I have to make sure he doesn't die. Why is that so hard?

* * *

…

-KU!

…

MIKU!

Oh. Hey.

Jeez, it's about time you came to! I've been calling your name for who knows how fucking long now! Sorry. Did we pass out? Yeah. Fuck. We have to work on that. This is getting pathetic. Tell me about it. Weren't you listening? I just did. Ugh. Never mind. Are we going to be ok when we wake up? Probably? Wow. Thanks. That's really useful.

Hey. I only know as much as you know. Did you ever have this stuff before?…No. Exactly. So how am I supposed to know how this shit works? …You're pretty worthless. Shut the fuck up why don't you? Petty bitch. You know what. Fine. So what now?

I don't fucking know! Saints, we're so useless. So much for keeping him safe. Is this where I say I told you so? Shut the fuck up. We really do suck at this. We're going to have to work on that too. Shit, this is a hard game. Told you it wouldn't be easy. We're fucking assassins! We aren't meant to be saviors! Don't you dare fucking start! We already went through all of this already. You agreed to this too! You're not allowed to fucking back out now. Fuck you.

And fucking Kiyoteru Hiyama! Like what the fuck even! He gives us life advice and then he kidnaps our fucking lover! Who even does that? Well, at least that explains why he was in this republic in the first place. Aw fuck! Do you think – yeah, probably. Fucking hell! What kind of fucking timing is this anyways? FUCK THIS WORLD AND FUCK THIS FUCKING GAME! FUCK YOU ALL!

Do you feel better now? …yeah actually. That really helped. But I still hate him. He said he was sorry. Yeah. He did. Fucking traitor. He's not allowed to look that fucking sorry. Hell! Saints, I don't think we've ever met a man that made less sense than him. Fuck him. We'll deal with him later.

So now what? We wake up, beat the shit out of Kaito and go save Len? I like that. Sounds good. Actually, can we talk about that? Talk about what? Fucking Kaito! What is there to talk about? He's a jealous and possessive bastard, we're stupid for not leaving his ass earlier. Actually…that sums it up pretty well. We should have saw this coming actually. Some fucking friend he was. _Was_ he even our friend though? I don't know. The whole friendship thing is actually pretty confusing….yeah. Is this where we say our life sucks? …Maybe?

So can we wake up yet? Nope. Our body is still recuperating and stuff. Kaito is lucky we've been drug trained. Yeah. He went a little crazy with the antidote there. So we wait? So we wait. You know, I'm a little disappointed. What? Why? I found this really awesome speech in this obscure part of our space and I really wanted to say it.

Wait. Seriously? Yeah…Well let's hear it. I've got time. Nah. It really wasn't much. It was basically how you should just get over yourself and kill whoever gets in your way, because you're human and Admodia's top assassin and there's nothing wrong with being happy. You know. Something along those lines. Huh. I wonder who wrote that. No fucking idea. It was a really awesome speech though. That's still kinda…yeah…we'll think about this later. Will we really? Maybe? Whatever. Can we wake up now? You know what? Yeah. I think we're good.

Awesome! Let's get this show on the road! Hold up! Where did that come from? Where did what come from? "Let's get this show on the road." What the fuck does that mean? Huh. I have no idea. It was just in my head and I said it. …we'll also deal with that later. But will we really? Who knows. Let's go beat the shit out of this fucker! Fuck yeah!

* * *

"-KU!"

"MIKU!"

owowowowow my head hurts. My face hurts. My shoulder hurts. Everything fucking hurts. At least we can move all our limbs now.

"Miku! Thank god you're alright! I was so worried! You weren't responding and I wasn't sure what to do...and..." Fuck, we don't have time for this. Gah, everything feels stiff. Just what did he slip us anyways? Probably some of that experiemtal shit from th black market. Nasty stuff. Can we beat him up now? ….we should probably double check. Why?! We know he did it! There's nothing wrong with checking. It's part of being a better person. When the fuck did we decide that?

"Kaito."

Just look at him, he looks like he fucking won something! Saints, this wanker! Um, what? "You drugged me, didn't you?"

What the fuck is a wanker? Averting his eyes, Kaito stares at his hands, at anything but me. Firmly grasping onto his chin, forcing my eyes onto his, it's the wrong kind of blue. We don't have the time for this bullshit. But what's a wanker? "Well next time, be more careful with the antidote doses. If I were anyone else, you'd be a fucking murderer right now." And the shitty kind too. "You know, just some advice for the future, in case you feel the need to fucking drug someone else."

Ha. His face is all white now. Ugh. Fuck you! I bet that's not even a real word! I didn't think it could go that pale.

Pulling back my fist, the connections are way to easy to make. Kaito called the authorities on Len. Kiyoteru, who was looking for him, came instead. Kaito drugged us so I wouldn't be able to do a thing. And Kiyoteru just let it all happen. Men really are such fuckers. Good job Sherlock. What the fuck is a Sherlock?!

Watching Kaito crash into a table behind him, it's not nearly enough. But it'll have to do. Wait, what? That's it?

"Goodbye Kaito….It ends here."

It's just too easy. I'm bored already. Cheek bleeding, body trembling, Kaito yells out, "Miku – what do you mean 'it ends here'?"

Fucking bitch. And it really is a shame. I think you were our first friend after Gakupo. "I'll miss you." This isn't the time to be feeling fucking sentimental. "But I've been doing that for months." If we're not going to fucking beat the shit out of him, we may as well just leave. "I'm done waiting Kaito." Let's go already! "I'm choosing Len over you. I won't be coming back tomorrow morning. Not ever."

"But Miku, don't you see? That kid's no good for you! Someone like you deserves better! You deserve someone who can give you a good life! A person with an actual future! There's no hope in a kid whose only redeeming point is a pretty face and sticky fingers! Why can't it be me?!"

Breathing heavily, Kaito's chest visibly puffs in and out. Quick and shallow gasps escape from his lips, "It could never be you."

"Why?!"

Blue eyes blazing, the wrong kind of blue, "There aren't possibilities when it comes to you." Come on. Let's go. I still want to beat him into the ground. We can't stay. Fine.

"You don't know that Miku. For all you know I could surprise you. Give me a chance. I can prove it to you. Choose me! Because you know what? _He_ can't have you either; and at this point, that's all that matters! The kid's been taken in by New Ethatrias' top detective, Kiyoteru Hiyama! No one ever escapes his grasp! I don't know why he was hired down to track down such a brat in the first place but **good riddance**!"

I hate this game. I never wanted any of this, I know. Me too.

It's hard to hold back, the soft whisper that escapes our lips. This is where we end. "Goodbye Kaito."

Racing through the crowded market place, "MIKU!" people yell and shout out angered remarks as I roughly push them aside. For once, I'm not weighted down by Len's stolen presents. How weird.

How far do you think they got? Hard to say. They probably took Kiyoteru's car. How does that thing even go through the bloks unnoticed? …Good question. Maybe he's magical. I'm pretty sure that's not it. What do you know, maybe – wall. Yeah. I see it.

Leaping up, the old thing crumbles just a little bit more. The sun is warm up here. Running along the top, miniscule pieces continue to shatter and fall. It's amazing this thing is still standing, let alone supporting our weight.

Crossing over to the roof of a close-by house, the view from up here really is breathtaking, almost as good as our Sky-Tree, more than it would be at night. All the buildings, the shine of the sun against their ebony colored roofs, the birds resting and chattering on the highest points, it's pretty. I'll have to show this to Len sometime. He could probably get up here…I think.

You should probably pull your hood up. Wha – shit. Good point. Thanks. I can't believe you didn't think about something as simple as that. Shiny sun, teal hair, that's not a good combination you know. Hey, I've got a lot to think about right now. Yeah, the world looks fucking beautiful right now. Shut up. It does! Just pay attention before you fall off the fucking roof. You'd be useless with a broken leg. Excuse you, I am a professional, thankyouverymuch. I'm not going to fall off the fucking roof. I haven't done that in years. Oh really? Then run faster before someone spots us. Hmm…I think it'll be fine actually. You how the people in this republic are. They never 'have the time' to look up, they're way too caught up in themselves, you know? Good point.

Hey, do you think we're actually heading the right way? I would hope so. Detective headquarters are a labyrinth in themselves and to search all the courthouses and detainment centers would take days, maybe even weeks. But remember, our Pretty Boy is a special case. Why else would Kiyoteru bother with him? If Len was just a petty thief, like the other thousand petty thieves roaming this republic, they couldn't have sent a person like Kiyoteru Hiyama after him. But they did. It's so obvious. Someone wants Len Kagamine, heir of the Kagamine fortune. It's the only option that would make sense. After all, Len must be coming of age. If that family of his wants to continue living in luxury, they'll need Len to sign off on his inheritance. So what does that mean? Kagamine mansion.

You know, I've never had to kill a Kagamine before. Wait – so how do we know where he lives? What? Didn't you notice? The current head of that house is actually one of Sir's most frequent clients. I've seen his open file on Sir's desk more times than I could bother to count. I've had that address memorized years ago. Who knew it would actually ever come in handy? Huh. Small world. Fence. Yeah. I see it. I wonder how many people that thing has fried. Think about it later.

Even from here, it's easy to see the blue sparks snapping off the electric fence that enforces the Central Blok. One single touch would mean instant death. Hey, at least they don't suffer. Why do we break prefer breaking into Central Blok this way again? Because we don't value our lives and security doesn't expect anyone to be this stupid? …Right. But I thought we wanted to live now? What is it with you? After all these years of experience, do you actually think we'll fuck it up now? What kind of inner voice are you? I don't know! I am what I am.

Heading for the blind spot between guard towers, it's way too easy to slip past the overconfident men working there. This isn't even a challenge anymore, even in daylight. But this is nice, I guess. The sky is blue. The clouds are puffy and white. There's a bird and there's the ground. Too easy. Maybe we'll beat this game after all. Optimistic idiot. We lost Len on the first day. That's hardly called good progress. Well someone has to be.

Whatever. What now? Well, we're behind a candy shop and Kagamine Mansion is on the other side of where we are. We need to get…in a car. What? No! Those things are death traps! Well we can't just walk there! We could steal a bike! These people are too fucking good for bikes! Where are we going to find one on short notice? We don't even know how to work one of those things anyways! We have to get…in a car. Do we have to? Do it for Len! We'll die before we even get the chance to save him! It'll…be fine. _You_ don't even believe that! Can you blame me? Those things are killing machines! Ok. Ok. It'll…be fine. We'll…be fine. We…can do this. After all…we're professionals…and what kind of professional would we be if we couldn't even get in a car? That was not part of the job description. Work with me here dammit! They kill people, we kill people. See? We're so alike. Yeah, it'll be fine. We'll be fine. Let's just do this, alright? …Fine.

Next question. Who do we get to drive us? That guy? Nah. Looks too prideful. Wouldn't spare us a second glance. Grandfather type? No, he'll ask too many questions. That guy? I don't like his eyes. He might try to rape us. Her? No. Did you see how she glanced at us? She's too cautious against "the poor" and thievery. Well, we are going out with a thief…Focus! Wait! There!

A couple feet away, a glamorously dressed woman with short reddish brown hair makes her way towards a car. Following behind her is a young child – a girl – of about nine years old. Compassionate mother? I think it's our best bet. Make sure you sound timid and harmless, like you couldn't kill her in the next three seconds…thanks.

"E-Excuse m-me, ma-madam."

Fuck. I think we guessed wrong. She's looking at us like we don't even deserve to breath the same air as her, let alone be in her presence. And do you see that bottle of liquor peeking out of her purse…yeah. We definitively guessed wrong on this one.

"What?"

Well she responded. Keep trying? "I-I am a new maid at the Kagamine Mansion but the car never came for me. I-If madam would so kind to drive me there?"

Shock crosses her face before laughing out loud. "Hah! What do you think I am, a charity service? Listen girl, I don't have time to be driving you to the next street over, let alone to Kagamine Mansion! So why don't you find some other poor sap to pick pockets from?"

Tactical retreat? Sounds good - "Mother, why be so rude?"

Wait what? Look, the little girl…Standing nearby, wearing a cute red dress, there's so much… _authority_ in her eyes. You know what? I think we might have a chance after all…

"You know it would take hours for this girl to get to Kagamine Mansion on her own! Surely, it wouldn't be too much trouble to just drive her there."

I like this girl. I can see it already – give her a couple of years and she'll be ruling this republic's politics singlehandedly. Not if someone kills her off first. True…

"Yuki! How many times have I told you? The rats that come from beyond the central blok are good for absolutely nothing! She'll pick your pockets clean and promptly be on her way!"

Placing her hands on her hips, the girl, no Yuki, retorts, "Mother! If that were the case, then why would she still be standing here now? Wouldn't she have moved on already? Really now!"

Grabbing my hand, she tugs me toward the car without so much a backwards glance towards her mother. I have to say, people from the Central Blok sure are weird. If I pulled that stunt with my parents when I was a kid…..yeesh. We wouldn't even be here.

Pulling open the door, Yuki smiles and says "After you," just like the member of upper society she is.

Ok. See? We can so do this. This is nothing. Everything's cool. We've totally done this before. No biggie. Everything's fine. We know what we're doing. We're not going to die. Oh fuck, we're all going to die and Len will be kept captive by his shitty family and we're all doomed! There's no way out! The doors are sealed and stay sitting dammit! Look normal! Look normal! We're not going to die! We're so going to die.

"Here you go."

"W-what?" Saints kid, why do you sound so calm? And what's that in your hands? Is that a…strap…or something?

"Oh! Could this be your first time inside a car?"

See! Even the kid…even Yuki can tell! Get your shit together! Excuse me? We're in a fucking car! This is the best it's gonna get!

"Let me help, then."

A snort full of contempt comes from the front of the car. Glaring at the noise, Yuki quickly turns back and smiles at me like the devilish angel she is. Pulling on the…the….strap, she climbs over my body, pulling it with her. "This is a _seatbelt_. It's to keep you safe in case the car crashes."

Crash? We're going to crash? Why do people even use these fucking things anyways? Between people like us and these fucking cars, how are there people still alive in this area anyways?

Something metallic clicks. Oh fuck! That's it! I'm strapped in. I'm…I'm _seatbelted_ and we're all gonna die, why did we think this was a good idea? We should have just walked!

"It'll be fine. You'll see. Cars are extremely safe." Yeah. Tell that to Gakupo. Grabbing my hand, Yuki's easing my fingers from my dress, lacing her small fingers between mine. You're pathetic. Well so are you.

Annnddd the car is roaring and Saints fuck this is terrifying, saints I'm scared, I don't want to be here and that fucking woman is laughing at me, isn't she and everything in the window is moving is way too fast for this to be natural.

"It's going to be ok. You aren't going to get hurt." But that's a lie. Because cars don't stop. They just kill people and twist their bones and cover them blood, you could ask Gakupo, he'll tell you all about it except he's dead and it's all my fault and that car's fault because we're professionals.

"H-How do you know?"

"I don't."

Fucking great.

"But I'm sure it will be. Despite her personality and her dangerous driving habits, I have faith in Mother's driving abilities. She will not crash this car. That is something I am sure of. And that's why I can say that everything will be ok."

So we're going to trust a cranky alcoholic with our lives. Why did we think this was a good idea again? We didn't. Right.

"Hey…I know! Let's be friends. My name is Yuki, what's yours?"

"Miku. My name is Miku."

Seriously? Can't you give out a fake name or something? Didn't you learn the last time, when you gave your name to Kiyoteru fucking Hiyama? Shut up! We're gonna die anyways.

"Wow! What a beautiful name! It's so pretty. It's a much better than _Yuki_."

How cute. "I think it's a beautiful name." Ah fuck! What was that? Who knows? A bump? Cars can do that? I don't know!

"You really think so?"

"I really think so."

Oh hey look. She actually looks like a kid now.

"Hey Miku, why work at Kagamine Mansion? Surely you've heard the rumors right? Is it the high pay?"

"Rumors?"

"Yeah…" Her voice drops to a whisper. "According to what the maids in my house says….the young master of the Kagamine Mansion has a habit of….. _ravaging_ the help….."

Oh. That. "I see…well thank you for the warning Yuki but I'll take my chances." Fuck! It happened again! Maybe it's normal? How are we still alive? Good luck? Since when did we have any of that? Maybe the world is cutting us some slack? As if.

Shock crosses her small face. "But why?! Surely you could work elsewhere. I know! I'll hire you! I'll give you a salary that matches the one offered to you!"

"Oh? And you have the money for that?"

With my words, the determination on her face falters. "N-no. But I'm sure Papa would give me the money if I asked for it! ...Please….Don't work there…."

"You're a sweet kid….don't let strangers take advantage of you, ok?" Are we there yet? How would I know?

Pouting, she replies, "I-I won't! It's…It's just for you!"

Can we get out now? Probably not? "Well then, I'm…honored to receive this offer from you….but unfortunately, there is someone I… _need_ ….to meet."

"And that person is at Kagamine Mansion?" Why is it so far away anyways? Fucking rich people.

"Yeah." Not you Yuki. Yeah, not you.

"Do you love that person?"

"I do." Why else would I be in this fucking killing machine?

"Ok….I get it…"

You know…this isn't so…bad. Yeah…In fact, it's actually…enjoyable. Um no. What reality are you living in? Sorry. At least we're still alive? And in one piece? Yeah. At we're still alive and in one piece. Like the manga! What? …I have no idea. You really are going crazy. I already talk to myself. How much crazier could I get? Enough to be spouting shit like that. Good point. I still want to get out. Yeah me too. Are we almost there? Probably not.

"We're here."

Oh fuck. Thank you. ThankyouSaintsforyourbenevolentkindness. Maybe we're even now for all the other shit you pulled. And look! There's Kiyoteru's car! Fuck yes! We were right after all! See! Told you it was worth it! Uh huh. Sure.

Without saying a thing, Yuki releases her... _seatbelt_ before reaching over to release mine. With the push of a button the _seatbelt_ slithers away from my body, creepy fucker. But I'm free! Almost! Still leaning over my lap, Yuki pulls on some sort of lever and opens the door for me. Oh fuck yes!

Let's get this show on the road! Still weird. Shut up. "Don't go."

Wrapped around me from behind, small hands gripping onto the front of my dress, I almost feel bad. Almost. "I have to Yuki. He's waiting for me."

Shaking her head against the small of my back, she stubbornly replies, "No! You could stay with me! I can be your new important person! We could be friends for forever and ever! …..Don't go into that house…."

Cute kid. She's too kind for her own good. The sky's pretty today, isn't it? Yeah, I guess. "Sorry Yuki…but this is something I have to do for myself."

She's crying, isn't she? Yeah, I think so. "Miku…. Don't let the young master hurt you…"

As if I'd let that fucker put his hands on me. I'd tear off his dick first. "Don't worry, I won't. I'll leave as soon as I can, ok?"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Those small hands slowly let me go. Walking on these tiny rocks feels weird. Who would bother collecting so many small rocks anyways?

"W-Wait!"

Tears running down her face, fuck I feel bad now. Thrusting a scrap of paper into my hands, she says, "My phone number! C-Call me if you need help…" I blame this mansion for being so fucking far away.

"Thank you Yuki. We would have never made it through that car ride without you." Holding her close, I think I'm going to miss this kid. I definitely won't kill you when you're older. "Bye Yuki."

All right. Let's do this.

"Hey girl!"

What now? Hanging out from the window, the alcoholic mother just smirks. "We don't accept brats at our place. So if you plan on eventually coming over, make sure that young master of yours uses a condom!"

I guess she likes us after all. "As if I'd let that fucker put his hands on me!"

Cackling with delight from her seat, the car roars. Walking up the stairs, the tiny rocks crackle and just like that, they're gone. The door falls open, unlocked and this would almost be too easy. Almost.

"Hello Miku. I was wondering when you'd show up."


	15. Operation

Hey everyone,

Sorry for dropping the ball last week. Life. It's stupid. See ya next week.

\- Sunset

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

 **14\. Operation**

* * *

"Hello Miku. I was wondering when you'd show up."

You've got to be kidding us.

Behind us, the door slides shut, a heavy sounding thud that echoes into the entryway. The sound of the lock clicking into place is painfully obvious, _of course_ the front door was left open just for us. That is just the way these interactions seem to go. Lucky us.

Somewhere in the distance, a grandmother clock ticks. Thundering in perfect rhythm, there's nothing soothing about it. The ceiling creaks; the house breathes with life, water rushing through the pipes, I refuse to get swallowed whole. Standing in front of a double staircase, it's hard to identify the emotions flitting through Kiyoteru's eyes. Staring at us intently, one hand clutching the railing, it's hard not to wonder sometimes, how life could have been if we weren't who we are.

But there's no point in doing that. Because no matter how much we wonder, this moment and who we currently are won't change. This game wouldn't exist if things were that simple.

Deep breathes, we can do this, inhale, exhale, "So what? You decided to wait up for us? Double up on your bounty for the day? Pretty smart idea, I have to say. No bad at all Kiyoteru." We're not angry. We're not bitter. It's fine. We're fine. "Not bad at all. But then again, I shouldn't have expected anything less from the best New Ethatrias has to offer. _My_ mistake." Fucking traitor.

Pain slipping into his eyes and maybe even regret, "Look, Miku – "

It's fine. It's fine. Fuck you. It's fine. It's - "Don't even fucking bother okay? I get it. You were just doing your job. I get paid to do stuff, you get paid to do stuff, I fucking get it. Just – "

"I'm sorry!"

Taking a step towards us, the sound of his footstep shatters the offbeat silence; this isn't how any of this was supposed to go.

"For what? Doing your fucking job?" We get it. It's fine. It's _not_ fine! "You know, from what people say about you – "

Maybe this game was defective from the start. Things would make a lot more sense that way.

"That's not what I'm sorry about!" Pacing in front of the staircase, frustration, aggravation, bursting from the inside out, "That's not what I'm sorry about." One hand brushing viciously through his hair, the chestnut color practically glows under the lights. Out of place and ruffled, looking so far from perfect and pristine, the clock beats, thundering hearts that are somehow still there, it's so fucking hard to hate him like this. Stop being so likeable.

"Then what _are_ you sorry about?"

Pausing, mid-step "I left you behind like that." Eyes desperate and _pleading_ , "The man with the blue hair drugged you," tension and panic written within his skin "he never said he would, and your _eyes_ ," I just want to hate you "you were slumped over the table, twitching, I shouldn't have left you behind like that." I don't get why that is so hard, "I never wanted that for you."

In tandem, ricocheting off the silence, it's fine, _it's fine_ , but really it's not. Devoured by useless emotion, our hearts beat (uselessly), reaching and yearning for the things that shouldn't even exist, I can't think of the word to describe this, is there even one? Because with all the anger and all the pain, there is so little right and so much wrong and it's no wonder we're all fucked up. Glittering little pieces, we always knew the world would end with you Kiyoteru.

So much more, so much less, concern pouring out of his eyes, "If anything, I wish you had better", _'I'd hang the stars and moons for you,'_ you were never supposed to mean this much to us.

"That's not fair Kiyoteru." Cracking, breaking, from the inside out, "That's not fair! You don't get to waltz into our fucking life," the distance closes, "be fucking _kind_ to us, save us with something so simple and then waltz back out." drawn, magnetically, "You don't get to fucking arrest our lover and then tell us you're sorry about leaving us behind!" like some sort of curse, "Pick a fucking role and stick to it! You're confusing me" someone's sick idea of a joke, "and we can't hate you at all – "

Bursting, exploding, bleeding out with useless emotion, the clock chimes with the hour, erupting into a symphony of bells and chimes, _please,_ I don't want to regret any of this.

Calm down. Just calm down. It'll be fine. Remember why we're here. Everything will be oka – No it fucking won't! "Just…Just tell me where Len is okay? Just tell us where he is and everything will be better." Yeah. That's how this works, right? The hero saves the damsel in distress, everyone lives happily ever after, right?

Pity flooding his eyes, one hand tangled in his hair, "Miku…I don't think…"

Don't fucking delude yourself. We're not meant to be saviors, you know that. We're not going to – I know. I know. I _know_.

"I just want to be with him Kiyoteru. That's all I want. Make it up to us. Just tell me where he is."

Pacing back and forth, glasses askew, "You don't belong here Miku." Gesturing vaguely, "This world, this life, Miku – "

"Well neither does Len. We don't belong anywhere anymore Kiyoteru. That's why we have to find it, the two of us, that place where we can be ourselves. Please don't take this from us."

Looking up, violently tousled hair, arm's length away, eyes half crazed, practically drowning pain and regret and frustration, "I don't know what I expected Miku, but it really wasn't this."

"…I know."

"Do you really though? How much do you understand? This job was stupid from the beginning. Chasing after a runaway heir? I haven't done something this petty in _years._ But I accepted the job anyways. Easy money I figured.

And then I met you, the girl freaking out in front of my car asking for Kiyoteru Hiyama, New Ethatrias' best detective to kill her. You fainted, and I couldn't just _leave_ you there and then you were laughing and crying, breaking into fucking pieces over something that is barely your fault, begging me to kill you, you don't want to be the reason he dies, I just wanted to help! Dragging in criminals over and over, just once, I wanted to do some fucking good, something that I could see, I just wanted you to be okay. I just wanted for you to forgive yourself. I was never supposed to see you again.

So of course the heir I'm paid to find happened to be your lover. And even as I dragged him away, and you laid twitching on that fucking table, all he cared about was you, and all I could think about was how sad and upset you were going to be, because _apparently,_ all I ever wanted out of all of this was for you to be happy for no fucking reason, I barely know who you are, so why do I care so much? You're just someone I should have arrested but didn't."

Panting, worn out and abused, shaking with the emotion that spills uselessly onto the floor between us, "I really want to hate you too, you know. I want to hate you for making all of this unnecessarily complicated. No. Not even that. I just wish I didn't care. I don't think I've ever met someone as confusing as you."

"It's hard, isn't it Kiyoteru? Being a professional?"

Looking at us, shock filling his eyes followed by a silent sort of understanding, Kiyoteru nods mutely and smiles.

"Yes. I suppose it is."

Smiling in return, shaky and broken because that is what we are. Because a professional will always be a professional, no matter whom they work for. It'd be stupid to feel guilty about it now.

"…I'm going to leave now Miku. I did my job and it's over. There is nothing left for me to do here." Stepping closer, dominating the silence, stopping right in front of me, his hand rests on my cheek, shaking with all the things that shouldn't be, "I sincerely hope to never see you again after today. Goodbye Miku."

Stepping past me, his hand falls, rummaging into his pocket for a cigarette, only to find and crush the empty box. "Goodbye Kiyoteru." And it's hard, not looking back, to not watch him head towards the door, to catch a final glimpse for absolutely no reason. These feelings, I don't know what to call them. Warped and messy, it'd be stupid to wish that things were different. But I find myself wishing anyways. The door creaks open, "I'll miss you." And when the words are whispered in returned, something very small seems to break. It hurts. The door clicks shut and the grandmother clock ticks, the sound so overbearing, we couldn't escape it after all.

Standing there, staring at the staircase, our heart beats, almost uselessly. Len is waiting. We have to go. Stepping forwards, moving up the stairs, our hand slips over the railing, where Kiyoteru once stood. Passing by it, we wish to never see you again either.

Ok. Focus. We can do this. We have absolutely no idea where we are or where Len is but it's fine. Yeah, it's really not. _Honestly_ \- who needs a house this big anyways?...Rich people? Powerful politicians? No! They don't! Just buy a normal sized house! Right. I'll be sure to spread the word. No fucker! Don't do that! I was being sarcastic. And I was joking. Fuck you! …It'll be okay. Just keep moving.

You know, this is a pretty weird house. We haven't seen a single maid the entire time we've been here. Maybe they're all busy having sex with what's his name? Leon? All of them? We don't know his life. Still…I don't like how empty this place is. This is practically a scene from a horror movie. A _what?_ Um, a moving picture? Then call it that for fuck's sake. Maybe I don't want to. Seriously? Stop being nitpicky and focus on the issue at hand, alright? But the hell does nitpicky even mean? Gah! I don't know. Look, where do you think we are? The southern end maybe? Do you think there's maybe a third floor? Ugh. I hope not. You know, at this rate, I wouldn't even be surprised if Len were actually trapped in some secret hidden room or something like that. Please don't say that! Do you know how much harder this would be if that were the case? Ridiculously hard? Exactly!

Wait! Do you hear that? Sounds like people. People are good. People know where other people are. No shit Sherlock. Again with that! What the hell is a Sherlock? We're not starting this again. I think it's a pair of maids. Probably, guessing by the frilly outfits. Damn, those are short.

Wait. No. I think they're having a moment. One of them looks to be crying pretty hard. Let's find someone else. How? These are the first people we've seen since we've got up here! We can't just keep wandering around like a -

"SeeU…He's going to die at this rate!"

You don't think…

Peeking through the door, "Shhhh. There's nothing we can do." Falling to her knees, wrapping her in her arms, "You know the dangers of going against the young master."

Shaking with tears, fingers digging into the arms of the other, "But the boy! Isn't he - "

Sighing, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "There's nothing we can do. Please understand that."

Something slams. It could be our heart smashing against our ribcage. Or maybe it was the door crashing into the wall. It's hard to tell. "The boy. Where is he?"

Looking up, startled, purpled marks against pale skin, "Who are you?"

"It doesn't matter!" There is so little right and so much wrong, _'If anything, I wish you had better'_ , _'I'd hang the stars and moons for you,'_ _"Just tell us where he is! The boy! Please?"_

 _Staring up at us, arms wound tightly around the other, the house breathes, consuming all who choose to enter it,_ "Please help us," gnawing slowly "we're nothing without him."

Nodding once, wiping the tears from her eyes, "Please don't." "I'll be okay. I won't get caught." "Yukari, please – " "I'll never forgive myself if I don't." Flinging herself towards me, slipping momentarily against the floor, gaining momentum, grabbing us by the hand, we're out the door. "YUKARI!"

Dragging us down the hallway, the maid, Yukari, leads us this way and that, navigating us deeper and deeper within the mansion, her skirt flying up to reveal even more marks. Panting heavily, her fingers glide against the walls, nails scratching against the wallpaper, pushing off against every corner we turn. Her purple hair whips behind her, eerily similar like ours and then we're skidding to a stop, a closed door, the heady smell of blood.

Gripping both our hands tightly, the maid, Yukari, stares at us with watery eyes. Whispering quietly, she begs, "Please…I was never…" "Yeah." Grabbing a metal key from her pocket, Yukari unlocks the door with trembling hands, glancing furtively down the hall. With a resounding click, she looks at us one final time, "Good luck" before running in the other direction and out of sight.

Behind the door, the smell of blood is intoxicating, seeping out from between the gaps, I'm scared, we'll be fine, this isn't good, just pop in and out, we're _professionals_ , there's nothing we can't do, there's nothing we can't handle.

One. Two. _Three._

It's everywhere, really. Splattered on the hardwood floor, the furniture, parts of the wall, they really do look like ruby flowers. So pretty. Stop it! Don't even think about it.

Ragged breaths fill the air, the house breathes, a steady beat, no, erratic, pulsing under a wicked laugh. They both sound so annoying.

An unnaturally small room, lifting his leg up, the blood splatters, more and more. Dried on his fingers, crusted in his hair, splattered on his cheeks, my dress, this really is a mess. Isn't it beautiful? STOP.

Control. Just stay in control. You are a professional. Just remember. _You_ are a professional.

Bound like a worm, dressed in red, I don't like the way you look Len. Blue eyes wide with pain, no, I don't like this at all. But don't snap. Stay as you are. Stay in control. You are a professional. Gakupo said so after all. And Gakupo's never wrong, right?

He broke his promise first.

Cackling, unhinged, the pieces cracking, don't snap, please stay in control, get in, get out, you're a professional, flowing, flowing, bathed in red, the contamination spreads, crawling down his skin, in bloom, _beautiful_.

Blue eyes meeting mine, _move_ , everything will be fine, we can do this, just stay in control, "Hi Len" as if this were some casual affair, "It's nice to see you too." Whipping around, "Who the fuck are you?" "Let me deal with this for you, okay? I'll tag you out." Blue eye, like ice, offset by the milkyness of the other, "Fucking bitch – " "After all, this isn't the sort of game you should be playing Len." " – Leave right now if – " "So close your eyes, okay?"

And he does. So obedient, my Pretty Boy Len, dressed in the prettiest of reds.

Growling under his breath, reaching for some sort of device, ah but this isn't that type of game, did you know? Slamming him against the wall, bones rattling, breathless, wisps of fear, calm down, calm down, you're a professional –

"Leon, right?" A delicate little coo, fire and insanity blazing in a single eye, don't snap – "Did you know?" Hands on either side of his face, so fucking close, "It's been a while since I've had the chance to have some fun." Can't you smell it? The _fear_ , the _anger_ , so _delicious_ , stay in control -

Desperation kicking up, throwing a leg, squirming, "Fucking bitch, who the hell do you think you – " Wrapping a hand against his throat, pulse fluttering wildly, gasping, fingers twitching, "Oh but _Leon_ " please don't do this, "don't be mean. Don't deny me this, okay?"

Gasping, air rushing into his lungs, "Do you know what Gakupo used to tell me?" Fingers still reaching for some scrap of plastic, ah, well, I'm not _done_ yet. Sliding a knife through the skin, pinning his hand to the floor, the blood bubbles, a broken intake of air, come on, just this once! Okay?

Tears pouring down his face, yelling profanities, fighting until the last breath, that's the spirit, "He told me that only _amateurs_ play with their toys. Only _amateurs_ dance in blood." Trembling, shaking, other hand pinned against the wall, "But I am a _professional_." Wispy little breathes, tears rolling from the edges, "And professionals only do what they must. Professionals stay in control. But…well…I'm not on the job, did you know? This is all in good fun, right? No hard feelings right?"

"F-fucking bitch, d-don't think you'll…get away -wwith this, wait until m…y fath – "

"No, no, no, you've got this all wrong Leon. We're playing on my terms today, did you know? After all, you look so pretty, dressed in red like this, red rolling down your arms pooling on the floor. But this isn't _enough,_ don't you think? Let's kick it up, shall we? Let's have some _real_ fun."

Gasping, moaning, a knife in your chest, sliding against your stomach, surely you can scream harder than that? Spilling out, hot and heady, "You look oh so pretty like this Leon, did you know? Choking on your blood, you scream so beautifully, let me hear it some more?" Twitching, spasming, "What should I do next? Peel back your skin? Pull on your eyes? Split you open some more? Tell me." Squelching under my fingertips, pain, fear, desperation, intoxication, "It's so _hard_ not to want more, did you know? _Oh_ , but I bet you do. So what should I do next? Come on. Let's play together Leon. I want more. No?" " _Please –_ " "You don't want to?" Life spilling out from a single eye - Oh.

You know, it really ruins the fun when you die so quickly.

Licking up the blood, shining and glimmering, smeared across _everything_ , heart pounding, the best kind of high, "Miku?"

Spiraling down, something shifts into place, a sort of resounding clarity, "Can I open my eyes now?" Gasping for breath, the body, _Leon_ , torn and open, intestines spilling out, wrapped around my wrist, pinned against the floor and the wall, knives and bloody streaks, glistening red meat, pale white bone, " _No."_

Sitting in a pool of his blood, fingers dyed bright red, _murderer_ , "Miku – " "Please Len – "

But it's already too late. Feeling his eyes on my back, it's too late. Staring at the wall, at what used to be Leon, there was never really any hope for someone like us anyways.

"I'm sorry Len. I'm so, so sorry. I really did want to be better for you."

Blood squelching in the distance, it was stupid to try and be anything else. Collecting my knives, sliding them out of cooling skin, more blood flows, leaving nothing more than a heap of flesh and bone. The knives glint red and they're pretty like this, aren't they? They're always prettiest when dressed in red. But Len doesn't say a word, breathing in and out and now I'm not so sure anymore. I think I might be sick.

"Are you disgusted Len? It's okay if you are." Staring at the wall where Leon used to be, I know what we are. A killer, a murderer, a blood thirsty _monster_. It was stupid to think that we were anything else. "You can go. It's okay. I won't be angry. I wouldn't stay either."

Tears welling and pouring, I tried to stop you. I know that. There's no way he'd stay after that. I _know._ I just…I only wanted…there was so much…shhh. I know.

"It's okay Miku."

What?

One hand sliding over our eyes, an arm looping over our waist, his warmth bleeds into us, solid and _there,_ unexplainably so. Curled around us, wrapping us tight, Len shakes, body trembling, bleeding, it drips against our skin. Hanging his head over our shoulder, one hand still over our eyes, laughter bubbles, bursts, he's cackling, crying, sobbing, heaving breaths that results with blood between his lips.

Drowning in his blood, Leon's blood, fingers curled into my dress, the world breaks a little more. It'll never be the same again. It's awful. It's really not fair.

"I love you Miku."

There really is no going back. Shattered and blood stained, the world keeps changing, macabre in its song, it's a miracle that we're all still alive. Squeezing me tighter, breath hitching with the exertion, Len cries a little harder, "I love you so much."

Sobbing the words, my chest hurts, everything hurts, and you know, I'm not sure when it happened, but it really is too late to save him from ourselves, isn't it?

"I could never hate you. I'm going to stay with you Miku, forever and ever until I can't anymore. So please don't look so sad. Please don't think I'm going to leave."

…We really should have let you go when I had the chance. I didn't want this for you.

"Len, why are you so stupid?"

"Because there's no one better than you."

And that's one lie I'll never believe.

Curled around my back, blood slipping down his skin, his fingers tangled in my dress, the world is way too broken to be fixed. We don't deserve a happy ending. I should burn in hell. But until then, this boy will be by our side. Whether we want him there or not.

And I think…that itself is something worth smiling for.


End file.
